What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

[pumpndude]

For Me;

I have to be attracted to the lady and extremely attracted in what they have to offer from the heart...
Be honest, loving, caring, trusting and are really good in the bedroom...

turn off- they get jealous , there not a whole person, glass is half empty or half full...when I'm in a relationship I only have eyes for that femme....I don't get jealous, that's me..

If there is no trust in a relationship then there is no relationship....

They can't sit down and talk about what's bothering them...instead they give you the silent treatment or yell for no reason....not ok !!

[gotoseagrl]

I can't stick to only 3 either. If only I knew these things before learning them the hard way.

1) Consistency - continue being the person portrayed while getting to know each other. Some things will change after the "honeymoon" period, but the person shouldn't. I don't understand this because I, myself, don't know how to be anything other than what I really am, always ... not just while falling in love. Example ... I don't stop wanting to express my love or feelings. I don't stop pursuing common interests or passions.

2) Honesty

3) Core values and beliefs must be in sync. Not everything about two people will be the same, but I can't survive major clashing differences such as how we view life, in general, relationships, health and how we want to live. Our major differences either have to be complimentary or able to co-exist peacefully. Or else.

4) Common interests - Just a few ordinary ones won't cut it. I am passionate and contemplative about too many things that I need to have in my life that I get along best with someone who actively shares at least some of the major interests I have. Last year I discovered a very enlightening project that helped me narrow everything down to four core things I cannot live without.

5) Be humble. I am humble and old-fashioned, and I can't get along with chaos, arrogance, obsession with material things, total selfishness and anything else that goes against being humble and in tune with what I believe life should be about.

6) Sense of humor - laughter is one simple thing that keeps me going.

7) Love - know the difference between real, mature love and selfish, unhealthy "love" where you mostly love the person because of some one-sided void they fill and what they give you ... instead of for who they are and how well you go together.

[knight]

Originally Posted by gotoseagrl

I can't stick to only 3 either. If only I knew these things before learning them the hard way.

1) Consistency - continue being the person portrayed while getting to know each other. Some things will change after the "honeymoon" period, but the person shouldn't. I don't understand this because I, myself, don't know how to be anything other than what I really am, always ... not just while falling in love. Example ... I don't stop wanting to express my love or feelings. I don't stop pursuing common interests or passions.

2) Honesty

3) Core values and beliefs must be in sync. Not everything about two people will be the same, but I can't survive major clashing differences such as how we view life, in general, relationships, health and how we want to live. Our major differences either have to be complimentary or able to co-exist peacefully. Or else.

4) Common interests - Just a few ordinary ones won't cut it. I am passionate and contemplative about too many things that I need to have in my life that I get along best with someone who actively shares at least some of the major interests I have. Last year I discovered a very enlightening project that helped me narrow everything down to four core things I cannot live without.

5) Be humble. I am humble and old-fashioned, and I can't get along with chaos, arrogance, obsession with material things, total selfishness and anything else that goes against being humble and in tune with what I believe life should be about.

6) Sense of humor - laughter is one simple thing that keeps me going.

7) Love - know the difference between real, mature love and selfish, unhealthy "love" where you mostly love the person because of some one-sided void they fill and what they give you ... instead of for who they are and how well you go together.

thank you for your thoughts... very well said.

[kittygrrl]

(in every context)kind
foresight
passionate

[cathexis]

True to Heart (physical a non-issue)
Open minded, hearted
Experimental in all things