Caregivers and Stress

Chad · 07-31-2018, 07:58 AM

Day 35 of moving mom. I am exhausted in everyway. The sheer mass of her her stuff is overwhelming. Today they deliver a dumpster.

MsTinkerbelly · 07-31-2018, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

Day 35 of moving mom. I am exhausted in everyway. The sheer mass of her her stuff is overwhelming. Today they deliver a dumpster.

After my Mom passed away we had to go through some of the stress you have faced...it feels like never ending torture! I was determined that my daughter wouldn’t have to go through it when I am gone.

Take a deep breath, you got this!

Chad · 08-05-2018, 08:33 AM

The move will not be over this weekend. It is hot and I am overwhelmed. Yesterday was hard loading and unloading by myself. Thank goodness mom cuts me a break when I rage over the heat and the mass of her stuff. We now have one shed on my land and two rentals.

We are taking today off. Yay!

Chad · 08-08-2018, 06:23 AM

The final deadline for mom to be completely out of her house has been set by the new owner. She has to be completely out by this Thursday night so I had to take off work and call in my cousin for help. I will be sweating my guts out for the next two days and nights.

On the bright side I have lost weight and my muscles are firm again.

Mom and are are exhausted but we must push hard to make this deadline. I would appreciate support from my friends.

MsTinkerbelly · 08-08-2018, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

The final deadline for mom to be completely out of her house has been set by the new owner. She has to be completely out by this Thursday night so I had to take off work and call in my cousin for help. I will be sweating my guts out for the next two days and nights.

On the bright side I have lost weight and my muscles are firm again.

Mom and are are exhausted but we must push hard to make this deadline. I would appreciate support from my friends.

The end is in sight! Just imagine how much relief you will feel to have your mother close enough to care for...it made all the difference to me during my moms final days.

Breathe deep, and remember that you got this!

Kelt · 08-08-2018, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

The final deadline for mom to be completely out of her house has been set by the new owner. She has to be completely out by this Thursday night so I had to take off work and call in my cousin for help. I will be sweating my guts out for the next two days and nights.

On the bright side I have lost weight and my muscles are firm again.

Mom and are are exhausted but we must push hard to make this deadline. I would appreciate support from my friends.

You will get there, it just may not feel like it!

I did have to hire some outside help with my mom since her move was predicated by my father's death there was the house with a lifetime of accumulation going nowhere to deal with. I was moving her into an apartment and did the packing for her and then hired an estate broker to take care of liquidating the things she wasn't taking, then to a trustee to sell the house since I was commuting from another state.

When moving her from her apt to the house where she currently lives it was sort of the same but much smaller and no house sale, still renting a van to haul some few things to my house 400 miles away and the load/unload feature wasn't fun.

This last was 4 months ago and I rented a small storage unit for her seasonal clothes and the giant archive of slides and photos (3 family members past were avid photogs) as it turned out, when I was there in July we found a place within her current place for all of her clothes and other personal items and I brought the archive to my house so we were able to get rid of the storage unit and replace that with half a bedroom in my house.

Don't know about your mom's condition, but you may find over time that those belongings mean less to her and you will get to begin the endless shuffle in new and never-ending ways...

Chin up, the end of this phase is near.

Kelt · 08-09-2018, 07:21 PM

I'm posting the third week installment of the PBS Newshour video series,

The Cost of Care: The U.S. needs more home care workers. Is this the solution?

Again link only as it is not YouTube. The first couple are posted upthread.

"America's home care shortage is critical, and growing. The industry's shortage seems to be driven by low wages, few benefits and a lack of respect for workers, 90 percent of whom are women. Would giving them more responsibilities and more training help workers earn more?"

This issue has hit home with me twice this week, first on Monday the primary caregiver in the sister home to the one my mother is in called in and quit with no notice. Resources are being stretched across the board to make sure nothing falls through the cracks. The place where she lives is excellent but they are having such a hard time finding people that one of the houses had to be shut down due to lack of staff.

Second, I have an extra caregiver from the outside that I bring in twice a week to take my mother out for walks in parks, outing for a change of pace and exercise, and frequently a lunch out. It's good for her and she looks forward to these as a treat. Obviously when I am in town I get to do this with her. This morning I got a call from this caregivers sister about a family tragedy which will take her out of things, maybe forever. I have the utmost respect for her and feel horrible about what happened to her. I also have to find new help in a town that doesn't seem to have the resources. I use an agency that I helped get up and running a couple of years ago so should not have too much trouble though hiring is almost impossible even for this higher paying situation. This is a chronic situation that is only getting worse nationwide.

This is not a problem with medicaid for us as it is for many and even worse than the shortages I am talking about.

The linked video talks about the economics and shortages in the system. I hope policymakers start to wake up to the scope of the issue.

Chained Daisy · 08-10-2018, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chad

The final deadline for mom to be completely out of her house has been set by the new owner. She has to be completely out by this Thursday night so I had to take off work and call in my cousin for help. I will be sweating my guts out for the next two days and nights.

On the bright side I have lost weight and my muscles are firm again.

Mom and are are exhausted but we must push hard to make this deadline. I would appreciate support from my friends.

Hoping you made the deadline Chad. Sounds like you have worked very hard on this move, I hope you will have some downtime and youtime scheduled soon and that your Mom gets nicely settled into her new pad.

Chad · 08-10-2018, 07:42 PM

Thank you friends for the support. This has been a horrible experience. The deep cleaning service is cleaning mom's house over night and mom decided to stay with them tonight.

I get the feeling that it is hard for her to leave that house. My friends have advised me to be extra kind and gentle with mom during this transition. As a task master, I did forget that being gentle now was very important.

My house is a mess with boxes but it will all be settled in time.

Thank you, friends.
Chad

Chad · 08-25-2018, 07:23 AM

I am headed to New Orleans for a week with my colleagues and my work wife (thanks easygoing for the terminology). The construction crew will be here and I asked my cousin to check in on mom. Mom has learned how to care for the kitties so that is a big help.

I am hoping that everything goes well.

07-31-2018, 07:58 AM	#1
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,311 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers Day 35 of moving mom. I am exhausted in everyway. The sheer mass of her her stuff is overwhelming. Today they deliver a dumpster.

08-05-2018, 08:33 AM	#3
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,311 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers The move will not be over this weekend. It is hot and I am overwhelmed. Yesterday was hard loading and unloading by myself. Thank goodness mom cuts me a break when I rage over the heat and the mass of her stuff. We now have one shed on my land and two rentals. We are taking today off. Yay!

08-08-2018, 06:23 AM	#4
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,311 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers The final deadline for mom to be completely out of her house has been set by the new owner. She has to be completely out by this Thursday night so I had to take off work and call in my cousin for help. I will be sweating my guts out for the next two days and nights. On the bright side I have lost weight and my muscles are firm again. Mom and are are exhausted but we must push hard to make this deadline. I would appreciate support from my friends.

08-10-2018, 07:42 PM	#9
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,311 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers Thank you friends for the support. This has been a horrible experience. The deep cleaning service is cleaning mom's house over night and mom decided to stay with them tonight. I get the feeling that it is hard for her to leave that house. My friends have advised me to be extra kind and gentle with mom during this transition. As a task master, I did forget that being gentle now was very important. My house is a mess with boxes but it will all be settled in time. Thank you, friends. Chad

08-25-2018, 07:23 AM	#10
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,311 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Caregivers I am headed to New Orleans for a week with my colleagues and my work wife (thanks easygoing for the terminology). The construction crew will be here and I asked my cousin to check in on mom. Mom has learned how to care for the kitties so that is a big help. I am hoping that everything goes well.

08-09-2018, 07:21 PM	#7
Kelt Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Beach Butch Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: SoCal Posts: 2,751 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19,765 Thanked 15,270 Times in 2,538 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm posting the third week installment of the PBS Newshour video series, The Cost of Care: The U.S. needs more home care workers. Is this the solution? Again link only as it is not YouTube. The first couple are posted upthread. "America's home care shortage is critical, and growing. The industry's shortage seems to be driven by low wages, few benefits and a lack of respect for workers, 90 percent of whom are women. Would giving them more responsibilities and more training help workers earn more?" This issue has hit home with me twice this week, first on Monday the primary caregiver in the sister home to the one my mother is in called in and quit with no notice. Resources are being stretched across the board to make sure nothing falls through the cracks. The place where she lives is excellent but they are having such a hard time finding people that one of the houses had to be shut down due to lack of staff. Second, I have an extra caregiver from the outside that I bring in twice a week to take my mother out for walks in parks, outing for a change of pace and exercise, and frequently a lunch out. It's good for her and she looks forward to these as a treat. Obviously when I am in town I get to do this with her. This morning I got a call from this caregivers sister about a family tragedy which will take her out of things, maybe forever. I have the utmost respect for her and feel horrible about what happened to her. I also have to find new help in a town that doesn't seem to have the resources. I use an agency that I helped get up and running a couple of years ago so should not have too much trouble though hiring is almost impossible even for this higher paying situation. This is a chronic situation that is only getting worse nationwide. This is not a problem with medicaid for us as it is for many and even worse than the shortages I am talking about. The linked video talks about the economics and shortages in the system. I hope policymakers start to wake up to the scope of the issue.

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