Bravehearts: FTMs who cannot or choose not to medically transition

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by Linus

That wasn't the intent. It was simply to give those that cannot or choose not to transition a place to feel welcomed, safe and able to discuss their issues, dreams, challenges without infringing on others. All marginalized groups have challenges. No way does this lessen that.

I appreciate the thoughts and do recognize the challenges that other groups have but perhaps that discussion might serve better in another thread?

Originally Posted by Words

I'm sorry for interjecting with my femme voice again in a thread that's aimed at FtMs but I have to say this.

Although I agree with everything you've said here, I also fully understand why Linus has started this thread and see it not as an attempt to negate the suffering of other groups but to lend support to a particular group. A group that's, after all, as deserving of support and a 'safe space' of their own as any other.

Right?

Words

Right. See first sentence.

I unequivocally, and intentionally, stated that I believed Linus was making no attempt to negate the "suffering" (though I take umbrage at that word) of other groups.

Nor was my intent to engage in any further discussion on the matter, merely to state my thoughts as inspired by Linus' words. Thinking inclusively sometimes helps us from becoming myopic.

As an aside, Words, it's my opinion that you and your femme voice, are not "interjecting," but participating.

[violaine]

good afternoon.

interesting thread, thank you

i was thinking of a scenario. if a person lives on an island, and cannot not find a physician to write a prescription, because the one and only local doctor does not support/understand/respect someone's need/desire to transition- and there exist no support groups for like mindedness, that individual will have limited options unless moving off the island is a possibility. for the sake of this entry, let's say the person is financially unable to move, and cannot afford surgery. is the individual not really who they maintain to be then ?

[T D]

Originally Posted by violaine

good afternoon.

interesting thread, thank you

i was thinking of a scenario. if a person lives on an island, and cannot not find a physician to write a prescription, because the one and only local doctor does not support/understand/respect someone's need/desire to transition- and there exist no support groups for like mindedness, that individual will have limited options unless moving off the island is a possibility. for the sake of this entry, let's say the person is financially unable to move, and cannot afford surgery. is the individual not really who they maintain to be then ?

Just my opinion, but everyone is who they believe they are. That is their truth and their reality. That's my take.

[Jet]

I'm going on T to compliment how I feel on the inside. I respect those who ID male (FTM), but choose not to transition regardless of why.

[Andrew, Jr.]

For the name and gender change...personally anyone can change their name legally in Maryland. The gender change on the legal documentation is not so easily done. According to my attorney there is one case pending in the court system now. And it is because the judge in the case is requiring medical documentation of not only hormones, but of top and bottom surgeries. Leave it to Maryland to be a major pain in the ass.

For me, I want both the name and gender change at once because of the financial costs involved.

Btw, I am who I say I am. I dare anyone to tell me otherwise.

Andrew

[NotAnAverageGuy]

Right now I cannot transition, but later in the future I will.

Finance is the reason why nothing has been done yet, plus I have alot of searching of myself before I actually do anything.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Hi everyone. Just dropping by. I hope everyone is doing well, and life is being kind to all.

Love,
Andrew

[DamonK]

Currently transitioning is not an option for me.

I ID as male. I'm constantly explaining, or wincing when I hear "ma'am" in reference to me.

Several of my residents call me Mr. *insert bio name*. It's a hard position to be in.

I have been mildly gay bashed at where I work. I don't agree with it, but with the economy the way it is, I'm not going to leave my job without something else in place.

My other half got a rude awakening when she realized what life with me could be like and how it could be difficult for me.

Even though it would be easier for me, I elect to not transition fully. Currently, there are tenative plans for some top surgery. I'm not entirely sure if it will be traditional top surgery that FTMs receive or just a reduction.

Also, a factor in my decision has to do with cost. My insurance will cover a reduction, for example. However, it will not cover top surgery. If it comes down to that, I have to decide which I can live with.

[rande]

It takes a great deal of courage to live, let alone live as one believes in spite of society's interpretation of the person's physical nature.

I am a Stone Butch/FTM who most likely will never be able to transition. Some of it is due to finances, some of it due to health reasons. My bone condition would react badly to T.

If I can figure out how to get top surgery, I will. In a New York minute!

So I guess I'll always be "Third Gendered," although I see myself as male.
In my relationships, I am honest. I tell my potential partner my true nature, and leave it to them to stay or leave (sometimes after slapping my face).
I never "entrap" anyone....preferring the awkward moments take place conversationally rather than waiting until passion's fire has already been lit.

It's scary, not knowing if you're about to be rejected or accepted. But I guess that's so in all aspects of life.
It's just that when it comes to sexuality, there's a great deal more vulnerability than say, just discussing favorite flavors of ice cream.

Do I consider myself courageous? Dunno. Not my call to make.
But I will say that anybody who is living this Third Gender life has had to grow a pair, metaphorically speaking, in order to get through some of it.

It ain't easy being 'tween.
But it's me.

[AnAwkwardAccident]

I feel like I'm neither male or female but an odd mix of both. If i could choose what effects T would have on my body, I would be all for taking it...but since I don't have that ability....

As for binding - my chest is too big to bind, and my nipples are super sensitive...which is nice when I'm feeling feminine.

....if I could just deepen my voice and somehow either get a breast reduction or be flat chested with the same nipple sensitivity, I would be all for top surgery....*sigh*

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

For the name and gender change...personally anyone can change their name legally in Maryland. The gender change on the legal documentation is not so easily done. According to my attorney there is one case pending in the court system now. And it is because the judge in the case is requiring medical documentation of not only hormones, but of top and bottom surgeries. Leave it to Maryland to be a major pain in the ass.

For me, I want both the name and gender change at once because of the financial costs involved.

Btw, I am who I say I am. I dare anyone to tell me otherwise.

Andrew

FYI, I was having a conversation recently with a guy from Transgender Law Center in San Francisco. There is currently a judge on the bench in Los County that is also requiring that all FTMs that come to his court show documentation of both bottom and top surgery.

So far, the judge is getting away with this requirement. I am pretty sure there must be some guy down in Southern Cal that will challenge this. Currently in the entire State of California one must have Top surgery and taking T in order to get a court order of gender change.

Finally google the Williams Institute at UCLA. This institute is all about LGBTQ policy and law. Get on their mailing list. They have some pertinent and interesting stuff.

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by T D

Just my opinion, but everyone is who they believe they are. That is their truth and their reality. That's my take.

TD, I totally agree with you.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by violaine

good afternoon.

interesting thread, thank you

i was thinking of a scenario. if a person lives on an island, and cannot not find a physician to write a prescription, because the one and only local doctor does not support/understand/respect someone's need/desire to transition- and there exist no support groups for like mindedness, that individual will have limited options unless moving off the island is a possibility. for the sake of this entry, let's say the person is financially unable to move, and cannot afford surgery. is the individual not really who they maintain to be then ?

Originally Posted by T D

Just my opinion, but everyone is who they believe they are. That is their truth and their reality. That's my take.

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

TD, I totally agree with you.

Certainly agree but.. I will add one thing: what if everyone else on that island says your or implies not a man? You can believe all you want to who you are but I'd be surprised if it didn't affect you, over a period of time, when you're constantly barraged by opinions other than your own. For some, it's not an issue because they are viewed as their gender to begin with but for others it can be a challenge. Confidence and belief in one's self are huge at pushing this forward.

[weatherboi]

Originally Posted by Linus

Certainly agree but.. I will add one thing: what if everyone else on that island says your or implies not a man? You can believe all you want to who you are but I'd be surprised if it didn't affect you, over a period of time, when you're constantly barraged by opinions other than your own. For some, it's not an issue because they are viewed as their gender to begin with but for others it can be a challenge. Confidence and belief in one's self are huge at pushing this forward.

It is easy to have confidence/belief system chipped away piece by piece when constantly barraged by fear and ignorance. My experince is when I am constantly maintaining good confidence and can't just let it flow naturally it takes away from the growth of my being. My experince living in a conservative area is one of constant reminder of my gender because people here are so fearful of anything different. I attended a wedding a couple weeks ago. Friends of the bride and groom. They have known me long enough to understand I am who I am. I wore a pants suit vest and tie. The night was great. We danced, we sang, and everybody seemed to have a good time. A week later I find out they think I ruined their wedding. They think I was trying to make a political in your face kinda statement. Two days later I was at the local hardware store picking up some tapcon screws and some guys driving through the parking lot called me a dyke and threw a soda at me. LOL My first thought was to yell ...Hey I'm not a fuckin dyke! I didn't though. I don't really care because it happens all the time. My point is sometimes the people we are dictates how we have the experince. Obvious enough right? I can't speak for other people but I know when i am bogged down in the negativity I can't enjoy life no matter what choice/road/path I decide to take. Strategically placing myself in an environment that will support my desired lifestyle is pretty important.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I think it is a huge thing to have the environment of being condusive to transitioning. And that includes online as well.

Andrew

[Glenn]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

It is easy to have confidence/belief system chipped away piece by piece when constantly barraged by fear and ignorance. My experince is when I am constantly maintaining good confidence and can't just let it flow naturally it takes away from the growth of my being. My experince living in a conservative area is one of constant reminder of my gender because people here are so fearful of anything different. I attended a wedding a couple weeks ago. Friends of the bride and groom. They have known me long enough to understand I am who I am. I wore a pants suit vest and tie. The night was great. We danced, we sang, and everybody seemed to have a good time. A week later I find out they think I ruined their wedding. They think I was trying to make a political in your face kinda statement. Two days later I was at the local hardware store picking up some tapcon screws and some guys driving through the parking lot called me a dyke and threw a soda at me. LOL My first thought was to yell ...Hey I'm not a fuckin dyke! I didn't though. I don't really care because it happens all the time. My point is sometimes the people we are dictates how we have the experince. Obvious enough right? I can't speak for other people but I know when i am bogged down in the negativity I can't enjoy life no matter what choice/road/path I decide to take. Strategically placing myself in an environment that will support my desired lifestyle is pretty important.

In the oneness of allness, I am, in some degree or aspect, guilty of, or infected with, or suffering from, everything that I attack." (Charles Fort)

[DJ4321]

for me, that would be when the braveheart would step in and I'd just be me