Loving a Transman Isn't Easy

[lettertodaddy]

Is it possible that her partner didn't lie?

I'm thinking of Chaz Bono as an example. Chaz came out as a lesbian, because he thought that's who he was. And maybe it is who he was at the time. But over time he came to realize that he really was a man and started transitioning. Did Chaz lie to his female partner when he started transitioning after they were together? How can we be so quick to suggest that's what happened in this case?

Without knowing the parties, I'm reluctant to chalk this one up to duplicity. Rather, I think people continue to grow and change throughout a relationship, and this may just be an extreme example of that.

[SelfMadeMan]

Originally Posted by lettertodaddy

Is it possible that her partner didn't lie?

I'm thinking of Chaz Bono as an example. Chaz came out as a lesbian, because he thought that's who he was. And maybe it is who he was at the time. But over time he came to realize that he really was a man and started transitioning. Did Chaz lie to his female partner when he started transitioning after they were together? How can we be so quick to suggest that's what happened in this case?

Without knowing the parties, I'm reluctant to chalk this one up to duplicity. Rather, I think people continue to grow and change throughout a relationship, and this may just be an extreme example of that.

You bring up a good point... and I suppose it is quite possible that a person might not even realize that transition is the path for them early in life. I think sometimes I just assume that everyone has known/realized since early childhood like I did, and that they'd have already realized that the time would come that they would do something about it. But you made me think... and I really can see how maybe it *could* be an epiphany for some.

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

I absolutely did not say that slurs are acceptable. I said that in this context, she probably didn't realize that some people would take it as a slur. As has already been mentioned, this couple lives in Canada. Where they live, it's not a slur. It's incredibly unfair to expect someone to not use a word that's in common use and not offensive where they live, just because it is offensive in a completely different country.

I don't live in a completely different country. I'm Canadian. I know plenty of people around here who find the slur offensive. Other Canadians in the comment area from Vancouver themselves voiced that they didn't appreciate the use of the word tranny.

She's also writing this in a popular nation-wide LGBT newspaper (Xtra), that is given out for free in newspaper boxes on street corners across this city and across other Canadian cities. This isn't exactly her personal blog.