Parenting

[RavynTuqiri]

Originally Posted by tapu

Hi, Christie.

A couple of things came to mind as I was reading your post...

First, I thought, eh, that's what a guy that age is like. But I figure you've got a handle on that and know that this goes beyond.

Another thing that I get out of it is that you do think he's capable of great improvement in this area. So it's not that he's completely limited in maturing this way. It just hasn't happened.

I assume you do the list thing because I can't imagine getting this far without such proven tools.

I wonder if setting him up in more of a space of his own would eventually lead to natural motivation to improve in this area. Like, I don't know your house set-up obviously, but if he has a bed/bath of his own, or even just a separated out bedroom, and you stop all housekeeping service in there.... Well, eventually he runs out of basketball shorts, too.

It might take a while, which could be blech-y. Most older teen guys just have basically bad hygiene so who wants to sit next to them? Eventually though, he may be motivated to clean up.

The other thing that can jumpstart a kid is developing an interest in romance. You may have to use only a band-aid right now.

I don't know if any of this would be helpful, but I really got into your post. Please give word of how it goes. tapu

I have a daughter who is now 20....I don't think what you're describing is beyond the realm of normal. My daughter made the choice to move out in lieu of cleaning her room. She moved in with a roommate even more of a slob than she was.

She was much as you describe, very apathetic towards things that most adults would deem basic life skills.

She moved back in 3 months later...a changed child. She cleaned up after herself often without prompting. Living with a slob taught her more than I ever could.

Life is funny like that sometimes