Big Girl Love

[bigbutchmistie]

I agree with you Princess. For me on the butch side of things I hear all the time I would make a wonderful husband if I was smaller. So many rude crude things. I have come to say fuck em. If you cant love me for ALL of me. The n I dont need that in my life. And Id rather be alone than have fake love.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by Princess4u

My dear Irish,
Thank you for your beautiful words..I know you are so very right. Yet even most recently like today....I was once again reminded of my unworthiness....because of my size...I hear all the time...wht a beautiful heart and soul I have...what a great wife i would make...what a great mother I would make....and that is followed by ...if only you were smaller.....For so many attraction and beauty runs skin deep....and if you are blessed to have someone who sees you differently....then what can I say...but.....that is one of the truest of blessings....I focus on other things now....not finding Mr right...but...more like what can I do to better help my community.....I dont feel I have any choices where this is concerned...but I thank you....and as I say..."a girl can dream"..dont mean it will come true....

Originally Posted by bigbutchmistie

I agree with you Princess. For me on the butch side of things I hear all the time I would make a wonderful husband if I was smaller. So many rude crude things. I have come to say fuck em. If you cant love me for ALL of me. The n I dont need that in my life. And Id rather be alone than have fake love.

I've heard it too. That "if only you were smaller crap" comes from people who are definitely NOT worthy of you or your time.

I've lost 130 lbs over the last 17 months. I did it for me and no one else. (Health reasons - trying to avoid Type II diabetes and that ugly pancreatic cancer that killed my mother.) Shelia loves me for me and not for the "packaging." And I love her for just her. If she wants to lose weight for herself and her health I will stand by her. If she doesn't, I will still love and stand by her.

[Miss Scarlett]

Does anyone watch Ruby on the Style network? She got a really great attitude about life and isn't afraid to talk about how people's reactions/perceptions affect her.

[bigbutchmistie]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

Does anyone watch Ruby on the Style network? She got a really great attitude about life and isn't afraid to talk about how people's reactions/perceptions affect her.

Yes I do. I love watching her. She is so sweet

[sweetfemme247]

oh i love ruby she is so pretty, I wish I could meet her.

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

I've heard it too. That "if only you were smaller crap" comes from people who are definitely NOT worthy of you or your time.

I've lost 130 lbs over the last 17 months. I did it for me and no one else. (Health reasons - trying to avoid Type II diabetes and that ugly pancreatic cancer that killed my mother.) Shelia loves me for me and not for the "packaging." And I love her for just her. If she wants to lose weight for herself and her health I will stand by her. If she doesn't, I will still love and stand by her.

You are both very blessed souls....congratulations on your loss Miss..that is remarkable. As I said and its sad but also wonderful.....that ppl like you and Shelia are rare....I am honest about my size...I dont try to make someone thing I am something that I am not....with that said....and you will love this one.....I have met ppl from here...and went to see them....and oh you should see the expression on their face as I am getting off the plane..now mind you...i have webcam...i send pics...and I am honest...I will tell you here i am a 22-24..closer to the 22...and yes...they are all about me while we are on the phone and getting to know one another...but real life....wow what a difference....then comes the ...lets be friends talk..LOL....which I find funny given that the day before I left....i was "the woman of her dreams"....LOL

[sweetfemme247]

I know how that is, I get that all the time, your not pretty enough, your to big, your to young, I say kiss my ass.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by everettdiva

I know how that is, I get that all the time, your not pretty enough, your to big, your to young, I say kiss my ass.

Yes!

Actually what I say is "Kiss my big, fat, fuzzy, lesbian a$$!" Well, now I say saggy instead of fat. But you get the idea.

Princess, I don't understand what the heck they were expecting if you sent them accurate pics...some people are just plain wierd.

Equally annoying are the people who don't want overweight friends.

Or the ones that do - so they feel better about themselves. My former employer actually felt threatened by my weight loss! She equates a person's value to their weight. If I saw a mutual acquaintance and mentioned it to her her first question was about their weight. This included a friend who was recovering from breast cancer. She's very wrapped up in herself. For example - I had lost over 60 lbs and she did not notice until someone brought it to her attention. Then she came to me and said "Someone told me you lost over 60 lbs. Is that true?" I stood up and she nearly fell over.

Do you find that your weight makes you invisible to some people?

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

Yes!

Actually what I say is "Kiss my big, fat, fuzzy, lesbian a$$!" Well, now I say saggy instead of fat. But you get the idea.

Princess, I don't understand what the heck they were expecting if you sent them accurate pics...some people are just plain wierd.

Equally annoying are the people who don't want overweight friends.

Or the ones that do - so they feel better about themselves. My former employer actually felt threatened by my weight loss! She equates a person's value to their weight. If I saw a mutual acquaintance and mentioned it to her her first question was about their weight. This included a friend who was recovering from breast cancer. She's very wrapped up in herself. For example - I had lost over 60 lbs and she did not notice until someone brought it to her attention. Then she came to me and said "Someone told me you lost over 60 lbs. Is that true?" I stood up and she nearly fell over.

Do you find that your weight makes you invisible to some people?

Well, just another way to think of your friend w cancer....perhaps she didnt notice your wt loss bc she never say you for your wt to begin w..she saw you for YOU!!! just a thought...and yes..i am invisible everyday!!! and for those few moments when i stick out like a sore thumb.....I have learned to go "into" hiding....but I do have my moments of..."here I am....take me or leave me the hell alone!" but I think that is just a front most of the time!

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by Princess4u

Well, just another way to think of your friend w cancer....perhaps she didnt notice your wt loss bc she never say you for your wt to begin w..she saw you for YOU!!! just a thought...and yes..i am invisible everyday!!! and for those few moments when i stick out like a sore thumb.....I have learned to go "into" hiding....but I do have my moments of..."here I am....take me or leave me the hell alone!" but I think that is just a front most of the time!

Upon review of my post that you responded to, I realize that I can be a terrible writer...my friend with cancer noticed and supported my weight loss. It was my former employer who was so self-absorbed that she didn't notice until it was brought to her attention. Believe me, she saw my weight. Then she chose to ignore me dismissing me as fat and unworthy. She will never change. Of course I got the last laugh. She paid nearly $2,000 to a nutritionist in an effort to lose 10 lbs. When I left that job last summer she had lost 7 lbs but gained 9. Whereas I, by that time, had lost over 100 lbs and am still losing having lost 130 so far.

[ScandalAndy]

I'm responding to this hella late, as usual, but the bolded bit below (alliteration, hehehe) really speaks to me. I find that because of my weight I am often immediately placed in the 'friend zone' when meeting potential partners. I also feel like most people don't look at big people as "sexual people", like we're some sort of anatomically devoid dolls that don't think about or have sex, because that's too gross or something. It bugs me, a lot.

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

Yes!

Actually what I say is "Kiss my big, fat, fuzzy, lesbian a$$!" Well, now I say saggy instead of fat. But you get the idea.

Princess, I don't understand what the heck they were expecting if you sent them accurate pics...some people are just plain wierd.

Equally annoying are the people who don't want overweight friends.

Or the ones that do - so they feel better about themselves. My former employer actually felt threatened by my weight loss! She equates a person's value to their weight. If I saw a mutual acquaintance and mentioned it to her her first question was about their weight. This included a friend who was recovering from breast cancer. She's very wrapped up in herself. For example - I had lost over 60 lbs and she did not notice until someone brought it to her attention. Then she came to me and said "Someone told me you lost over 60 lbs. Is that true?" I stood up and she nearly fell over.

Do you find that your weight makes you invisible to some people?

[Electrocell]

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

I'm responding to this hella late, as usual, but the bolded bit below (alliteration, hehehe) really speaks to me. I find that because of my weight I am often immediately placed in the 'friend zone' when meeting potential partners. I also feel like most people don't look at big people as "sexual people", like we're some sort of anatomically devoid dolls that don't think about or have sex, because that's too gross or something. It bugs me, a lot.

Big people are ususally more sensuous and sexual from my experience.

[dixie]

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

I'm responding to this hella late, as usual, but the bolded bit below (alliteration, hehehe) really speaks to me. I find that because of my weight I am often immediately placed in the 'friend zone' when meeting potential partners. I also feel like most people don't look at big people as "sexual people", like we're some sort of anatomically devoid dolls that don't think about or have sex, because that's too gross or something. It bugs me, a lot.

Agreed. Ha! If they only knew how well we can rock their world! lol

Actually, from my experience, I haven't really had an issue for the most part. Usually, if they have an issue, they aren't someone I would want to date anyway. Hell, even when I was skinny I wasn't skinny. I'm a thick girl, always have been. Yeah, I'd like to be a lil smaller than I am now, but I don't EVER wanna lose my curves.

[Electrocell]

Originally Posted by sweetfemme247

I know how that is, I get that all the time, your not pretty enough, your to big, your to young, I say kiss my ass.

Hon tell them if they don't like what they see don't look .It will be their loss for not getting to know you.