The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by LadyRieinAL

The other night, a younger friend of mine, a butch, who knows I've been single for almost two years, asked me if I had ever considered friends with benefits - my response was no, (wanted to sing - baby I was born this way) - and at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder, why I can't just let go, enjoy making love for the excitement of it all - why can't I be polymorphous and know it is ok to be in a polyamorous relationship.
The people I'm most attracted to, those who I have come in contact with over the last few months, live hundreds of miles from Alabama - long distant committed relationships seeing someone once a year doesn't work for me - If I'm committed to someone I want to see them at least once a month, and I would prefer they live the same town. But if I were poly, I would have choices, variety, and maybe I wouldn't dwell on the "age" factor - someone being too young for me, and I wouldn't have to worry that I'm took kink or not kink enough.
I don't know - I thought I did - but being without a partner has caused me to rethink my belief that being in a manogamous relationship maybe helps someone to grow and it isn't as off track for me as it seems - and what I know about me, I'm so frigging partner oriented, I want to be in love with one person, I want to share intimate moments with one person, I want to give one special person my attention, my devotion, and my love - and I don't like sharing.
So, can you teach an old dog new tricks of the heart?

Originally Posted by ruthie14

I have had the same thoughts recently in regards to this butch I've been dating (see recent posts). She wants to have sex while dating various people... I wish I could. I think she is hot, she is smart, caring, affectionate. I just can't wrap my head around it and i know from past experience...once we cross that bridge, not matter how hard I try, i will expect more. It will ruin what we do have. Ohhhh but I do wish I could... just enjoy myself. I have the same problem the the ldr too. I won't do that anymore, but that is who I seem to connect with. I live in Jersey and currently am quite attracted to a woman in Cali... sigh. I won't have a ldr with her.. won't move.. sooooooooo it's flirty texts and leaving it at that. .. I feel ya!!

Hi all. I pop in once in a blue moon and this subject caught my eye. Good morning!

There is a thread on the Planet called something like poly and mono. I think the upshot is that you are either wired for poly or you are not.

I have never been able to have sex without deep feelings, on my way to being in love. My wires don't work that way.

Do I think how much more simple my life would be? Yes and no. If it could be done in the right head space, yes. Me? I would not feel good about myself.

I do not judge others that can do it and a matter of fact, I have a little bit of envy because they can.

The age thing? Yes, that is hard for me. My ex-girlfriend was 10-years younger. Just this week I got an email on a lesbian dating site that I had not even looked at in almost 9-months, from a butch 15-years younger than I. That just seems too wide a gap. There has to be a limit, right?! I guess when the age category feels really creepy, that's too young! It is flattering though, I must admit!

We all have to stay true to ourselves and our personal values. Hard to do sometimes.

Have a good day all.