Dating other femmes exes: what do you think?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

As typical for me, I am going against the grain...

Riley and I met because of a mutual friend. They were dating; she and I were friends. He and I barely spoke b/c we do not live in the same city/state-actually none of us did. Their relationship ended and she moved on to a new relationship. He and I became better friends and eventually ended up together.

I am not saying it is right or wrong. But, love happens. And I believe that the further we are from the mainstream, the harder it is for us to find someone. If those in my local community had an absolute hands-off rule regarding an ex, we would all be single. It is unreal how hard it is to find a partner who is gay AND into D/s. One or the other is not easy but add the two and you really increase the difficulty.

We have yet to run into his ex. She is no longer friends with her, by her choice, and I am not taking away from her right to feel betrayed.

I think that there are a huge amount of variables that come into play...

~How long were they together? One month is a lot different from one year.

~Who broke up with who and why? If things ended b/c they just simply did not mesh that is one thing.

~How long have they been apart? Again, one month is a lot different from one year.

~How close were the separate friendships? If Femme W and Femme X were childhood friends that is much different than Femme Y and Femme Z who do not have an extensive history.

I'll walk this road with you, Laney, as I have dated, lived with and loved a sister femme's ex.

I'm gonna name names too, because this person X and person U and person Y stuff makes me beserk and also because this isn't badmouthing/trashing/etc. In fact, it's the opposite.

Arwen and Ebon talked me into it. I was not okay with it at first. But THEY were okay with it and with one another. That made the difference for me. If there was anything romantic or unfinished business or bad blood between them, it would have been a no go. But both of them had great seats aboard the adult train and gave me the chance to ride it with them for a little while.

Did it feel awkward and weird at first? Yes. Am I likely to do that again? Most likely not, because those two people are so spectacular, I don't think any other situation like that would work with anyone else.