Changing last names

[Bard]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I'm not asking why people are an exception. I'm asking why it's rare for butches to take femmes last names. I'd kind of like to address that. not why you (the you of yeah but we did it cause...) are an exception.

I saw ONE person admit "cause I like heterosexual traditional roles" and that they *like* heteronormativity. Ok, that's absolutely fine. as long as that's a cognisant choice.

So of the butches here ON THE BOARDS (not your one friend of many) would take a femme's last name if she didn't want to change hers? or would you just opt out of changing names all together if she didn't want to? I'm not going to attack you for opting out if she won't change hers, but you might wanna think about "why not change mine? sincerely, what is the issue I would have with that, even though I'd like our names to be the same."

(and thanks for answering bulldog)


thank you, Miss Tick.

and thanks for the encouragement to keep partaking. I've been having a very frustrating time with either articulating myself of having people refuse to aknowledge my points lately in life and feeling kinda like opening my mouth is pointless.

if desd had asked me to change my name to hers hell yes I would have considered it we would have talked about at and as a unit come to a decision. She chose to take my name and for me it was important more because of family reasons my brothers having been adopted by their step father I alone have the name a name that is dear to me. My daughter with my EX has her last name and has my last name as her middle name. I know for us it would have been more a conversation of what we wanted as opposed to what is the norm

however if my ex had asked me to take her name I would have said nope no way and I would not have wanted to give her mine I think that says a lot she also scoffs at the butch femme dynamic and wanted me to change to suit her
I hope I have at least given you some answers this is kind of hard for me sometime in the thread I have felt judged and belittled for that fact that desd and I chose what we did however it doesn't matter what anyone thinks we are happy in love building a life and family together
may you have a wonderful day