Femmes: what makes you feel sexy?

[Gemme]

Self care is high on my list, like most of you have posted. Regardless of what is done, taking the time to put into myself continues all the good juju and happy happy joy joy mentality. Happiness flows downhill, from the head to the toes.

[C0LLETTE]

Maybe I need to think this through more deeply or someone can explain it. I can appreciate feeling sensual for myself but sexy for myself or as an end in itself, not so much. When I feel sexy, I'm hoping it gets a response or I don't feel sexy for long.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Maybe I need to think this through more deeply or someone can explain it. I can appreciate feeling sensual for myself but sexy for myself or as an end in itself, not so much. When I feel sexy, I'm hoping it gets a response or I don't feel sexy for long.

I enjoy validation as well, I guess for some folks (like myself) the validation comes from within, self acknowledgement is a powerful thing, no one loves me or takes care of me like I do.. Therefore I set the foundation of how others see me that I want to see me.


Make sense?

[C0LLETTE]

Sure.
Some folks really can be who they think they are. My mother defined herself as an artist; wanted that on her tombstone; and no amount of bad paintings could convince her otherwise. Her tombstone reads "Artist".

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by C0LLETTE

Sure.
Some folks really can be who they think they are. My mother defined herself as an artist; wanted that on her tombstone; and no amount of bad paintings could convince her otherwise. Her tombstone reads "Artist".

Good for your Mom!!! Good thing she never let anyone dictate what she is or isn't!!

[Gráinne]

Self-care, not just of the physical but even more the intellectual. An afternoon reading, taking myself out for a good meal, recharges me. Taking care of my environment, not just the bedroom. Having balance with the physical, intellectual, and spiritual.

I don't know if feeling "sexy" is always about wanting sex per se, but I love feeling confident and more put-together and that makes me more apt to feel that little "woo" .

[GeeGina]

Lots of things make me feel sexy...from a new pair of shoes to feeling like I've taken very good care of myself.

Sometimes, it's the combination of the right pair of jeans and a favorite sweater while taking the subway into work...other times it's a snappy answer to a smart question.

Sometimes the most superficial things make me feel sexy...and other times it's the real stuff of substance.

Sometimes a look from a man makes me feel very sexy ("Look all you want, brother...'cause none of this is for you!" - haha) and other times a good, long stare from a woman across a bar or party. Validation - aka "independent confirmation" - does have its benefits. Plus. I'll be honest as there are some days and nights when I'm not just dressing for the weather...

I have to ask though, what's so wrong about someone getting aroused from what they're reading in here? It's a natural reaction to a discussion that is inherently sexual.

Isn't this like describing a glass of water in great detail...and then being shocked when someone says they are thirsty? Yes, we femmes empower and care for ourselves, plus reserve the right to define "sexy" on our terms for ourselves. That said, we can't expect to possess total control over how others see us, how they want to see us, or what they think is sexy about us.

[princessbelle]

There are many things that make me feel sexy. Here is just a few...

Getting a new outfit or new shoes.

A long hot bath with candles and bubble bath.

Getting a new mani and pedi.

New bedding, something cute to wear and cuddle up in the sheets.

One of the other things that come to mind is wearing "his" white dress shirt, nothing else, and puttzing around the house. If my partner likes it that is a bonus. If not, it's really not that much of a consequence. Heck, i do that when i'm totally alone. *I* feel sexy dressed that way and feeling sexy is definitely something that comes from within.

Nice thread.

[Random]

red toenail polish in peeptoes shoes

It makes me wiggle my toes and say *aren't they just so pretty*

[1TruFemme]

Originally Posted by Random

red toenail polish in peeptoes shoes

It makes me wiggle my toes and say *aren't they just so pretty*

Too funny, I was about to respond to say the same thing. I just had mine done Friday and it made me feel so much better after a really crappy week. I even had to take a pic.

[Candelion]

A sexy butch reaching over to push a strand of hair back from my face.

[Bèsame*]

All things lacy. Even more so with bows

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by GeeGina

I have to ask though, what's so wrong about someone getting aroused from what they're reading in here? It's a natural reaction to a discussion that is inherently sexual.

Isn't this like describing a glass of water in great detail...and then being shocked when someone says they are thirsty? Yes, we femmes empower and care for ourselves, plus reserve the right to define "sexy" on our terms for ourselves. That said, we can't expect to possess total control over how others see us, how they want to see us, or what they think is sexy about us.

To answer your first question, it's like free speech. Just because you CAN say something doesn't mean you SHOULD say something.

This is a thread for femmes, in the femme zone and it's reasonable to request that it be free of anything that may feel like leering or that our responses are somehow designed to turn someone else on. To me, the thread is just for us and we don't always get to allow ourselves to be sexy or show that we feel sexy because someone can and often will, turn that against us in a 'we said that just for them' kind of way. It's unsettling.

There's a certain vulnerability when you reveal someone personal to oneself and to have someone....even someone whose intention was not unkind....come in and say that what some of what we said turned them on, that feels unfair to me.

As Snowy said, we get this kind of behavior in the world on a regular basis. That doesn't make it right or okay here.

Brock, thank you for apologizing. We all speak before thinking at one time or another. It happens. How one handles it afterwards shows a lot about that person and their intentions and I don't think the intention was malicious. Just that what happened was inconsiderate.

As for your second question which I underlined, this question makes me feel uneasy because it's very close to 'she was wearing a short skirt and deserved it' in my head. I take ownership of that leap but I still feel that it's not unreasonable to expect to post in this thread, in this particular forum, without judgement or someone taking ownership of what is not theirs to take.

[1TruFemme]

A reassuring hand in the small of my back guiding me through a room or a crowd.

[lamuymuyfem]

Originally Posted by fatallyblonde

Actually that's exactly what I meant... what gives you back your sense of self, your own inner strength that makes you feel in control... and then makes you feel sexy.

I asked partly because this last two years has been very hard for me, I had a nervous breakdown and so I have spent a lot of time being 'frumpy'... not being dressed up, not going out, I stopped performing burlesque, I haven't been dating, I've been a quiet recluse...

I have been a quiet recluse for about 8 years. My sweetie and I are just starting out, and I find that it is all so exciting but also strange to be in a relationship again. If you are healing from such a deep emotional crisis, take extra good care of yourself now. Continually seek out what pleases or feeds you and go toward it. And maybe some lipstick or cat eyes or something might help….lol….you never know…..

[lamuymuyfem]

Ay que pelao el puro pelao liking the post about the lace bra…..lol

[lamuymuyfem]

Touching a butch's buzz cut

Making my eyes up in a way that would make any drag queen proud

Wearing my lucky leopard print bra

All my tops that show a little cleavage

All my tops that show cleavage and maybe a hint of the leopard print bra

Music with a good beat or heavy duty congas

Having my 'femmeness' appreciated, i.e., complimented on a dress

Getting cruised

Being called 'mami'

K.D. Lang's voice
(OK, anything about K.D. Lang….)

FLIRTING!

When a butch stares at your lips for a second before kissing you

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by lamuymuyfem

When a butch stares at your lips for a second before kissing you

This doesn't necessarily make me feel sexy directly but I do feel powerful and strong when it happens with the right person and those feelings tend to lend toward my sexiness.

Good answer.

[lamuymuyfem]

She was trying to change a tire at the time so the pre-kiss look was definitely the sexiest thing going on…….lol

[Sweet Bliss]

oh yah ... drums beating... sexy outfit ... in my super happy place