The Mythical *Pass* for Differently-Abled People

[violaine]

[QUOTE=popcorninthesofa;153481]I've seen some folks that are usually sweethearts here, get timed out because they had a beef about another member, groups of members, or a topic. I think that special care should be given to these members via a private message in an understanding way, along with a warning, rather than a moderator only giving a warning once or twice in the forum.

some people are given private messages for reported posts/other issues via a PM 'warning'. i'm not sure how 'understanding' the message can be read, because i think, they might be kind of a form letter/general-type reminder. i've received a couple of them over the years, [whether or not i agreed with the 'warnings' i chose to not 'dispute' the issued warnings] because i have observed interactions over the years, and learned some interesting and valuable differences between NT-AT processing, and how it presents online in certain areas.

with regard to warning letters issued, 'fairness' for the NT-AT 'set up' - i.e., the big picture, can be rather complex! in my case, sure, the warning was right/true- in part! it takes two for me to even get to that point, and yes, i take responsibility for my own 'actions'. i know that i am not as savvy in some areas, nor do i have any interest in setting someone up to 'get caught' or 'fail'. the report button has only been hit by me once elsewhere.

so, whenever i hear things from offending person- claims: to be good friends with certain people, wishing me luck with any of my own 'reporting', and on and on- this is the kind of complicated arena that someone like me, on the spectrum, cannot NAVIGATE. by the time it comes for this AT to try and compose a thought out letter to any [and which??] moderator, situation is so layered/twisted and i am so worn out, that the only thing clear, and what very well may have been seen clearly- was indeed my fuck up, because i wrote very straightforwardly, in my way, to offending person.

a friend of mine said the only people who would understand what i'm trying to convey would be those who are on the spectrum. is this true? if so, then the majority sees me right now claiming 'victim' role? that is simply not my truth. opportunities to see a depth can get blown away when many other pieces/parts contributing to larger issues are there, but "if" people only remain in the black and white, or listen to people online who listen to other people online, and maintain 'oh, she's just playing a Victim again' how does this help for future issues involving NT-AT interactions and very different processing? i could imagine the people who are moderators turning grey overnight from handling such issues!

[SuperFemme]

I'm pretty sure that NOBODY on this site has EVER been timed out for disagreeing with a person or groups of people. If so, I'd like to see where.

I am also pretty sure that there is no form letter response on this site.

Interactions with mods/admins are personal and one on one conversations, not form letters. The Planet has done a great job of NOT giving time outs and bans as a rule.

Violane, I've never seen you in the role of a victim. Ever. I hear what you are saying about somebody being nasty and saying they are good friends with certain people and wishing you "luck". That is outright shitty behavior, and not tolerated here.

I think it's important to separate what happened at the dash site with the set up here. Because the two things are light years apart.

I also want to put out there that is anybody with a different ability is having an issue (be it with the mods or other members) that you can pm me. As the DA Ambassador here it is my job to make sure that the DA members are treated fairly. If anyone feels like that is NOT happening, please contact me and I can act as a mediator if necessary, or point you in the right direction.

[adorable]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

i am in incredible pain right now but feel compelled to post.

I know you just got out of the hospital and I hope you feel better soon.

i thank everyone for participating, its an important conversation.

i want to reiterate AGAIN that giving a pass is not about erasing empathy and compassion. people don't seem to be getting that message....

a "pass" is a different set of rules for DA people and a complete lack of personal responsibility.

as the Disability Ambassador for the site, i can assure you that the planet goes out of it's way to take into account peoples DA's.

I agree.

what the planet is not going to do (i'm pretty sure) is to make DA people a special class that is not responsible for their own behaviors.

i also find it SO incredibly dismissing that as a DA person asking to be treated that same as everyone else, that i am hearing over and over (by non DA'd people no less) how important it is for me to be treated differently.

This is the discussion part that you mentioned earlier. And I assume why you started the thread.

christie, you assumed snow was talking about a specific member and claimed you knew because of specific interactions you had witnessed. she told you it was not. i found your responses to snow incredibly dismissive.



after reading this thread, i worry that a woman who has been raped, stalked, harassed, etc. will come to this thread and read that if a DA person is the perp that they are not protected. in fact it really feels like some people have twisted it into a "blame the victim" kind of thing, by shaming the offended person. saying it is up to the offended person to not be offended is beyond the pale IMO. and i'm not talking about hurt feelings or simply not getting along. i am talking about the rules that are in place here to make it safe for everyone.

I have been raped, stalked and harrassed and it happened when I was 9 months pregnant. That person was a sociopath which does make someone differently abled. He was given a pass for his behavior by society and sentanced to a mental hospital for 30 days of which he stayed 15whole days. Until he did the same thing again in another state to another woman and was sent to prison for six years. As a participant in this thread, I haven't read any posts or interpreted it to mean that I personally am not protected the same way I would be anywhere on the internet.

I also don't see the blame the victim thing since it's been said at least a dozen times that this thread isn't about any particular person or situation. I was having a discussion about whether or not people should be given a pass. If the answer is already clear and defined then discussing it is kind of moot, no?

some of the examples given as reasons for a different set of rules are really really a far stretch.

for instance the example of somebody being 25 but congnitively 13. Even 5 year olds know the difference between right and wrong. this is an adult website and when i first came to the b/f online community 9 years ago?
i was about 5 or 6 on a cognitive level. i was banned about 3 times during that period. i was not able to exist in an adult environment, and when i was able to? i came back.

I agree. That makes a lot of sense to me.

i don't even want to get into how damaging it would be for members to go around assigning age, cognitive level, and diagnosis for our DA membership. can you imagine?

I agree.
i also was really upset by the poor example of a drunk driver killing somebody vs. a person having a heart attack and killing someone. seriously? drunk driving is a fucking choice that kills thousands every year. i was almost one of those. to compare it to a medical emergency and attempt to assign "intent" to it is a red herring. there is no such thing as DWCA (driving with clogged arteries) is there? there is absolute intent when a person gets behind the wheel drunk.

Actually that is exactly what I said.

i'm running out of steam, but i want everyone to know that the mods and admins deal with issues on a case by case basis. that has been said many many times, and it is absolutely true.

so social blunder, awkwardness, cognitive issues and all other things attached to DA people is always taken into account.

the owners and mods must also take every single member into account and what is safe sometimes.

i AM DA'd. I want the same rules. When people who are not DA'd come along and purport to know what's best for me and then lower their expectations it sends me a message. that message is that i will never be like you.

when i am sent the message that i am responsible for my actions, you can bet that i am going to rise to the level of expectation that is given to me.


it's rare that i've run into a DA'd person who does not.

I have seen people who aren't DA be able to live up to other people's expectations. My experience is not everyone's experience and I don't feel that I should be the standard for others.

at rehab i'd see the over protective mom, wheeling her kid around, feeding her lunch, and even attempting to sit in classes such as social skills. once the staff banned the mom from the property the child improved by leaps and bounds. why? because they rose to the level of expectations that the rehab put upon them.

Good point.

i am always going to treat all members as human beings. that means compassion and empathy being extended. will i make mistakes? you bet.
but i am not about to diminish the other DA'd members here by expecting nothing of them. we're a great bunch, and there are a LOT of DA'd members here who won't out themselves as DA'd because they don't want to be viewed through that lens.

i don't blame them.

i don't know if any of this makes any sense, i shouldn't even be posting the day after surgery and my pain level is about a 13 right now.

Again. I sincerely hope you feel better soon.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

I've seen some folks that are usually sweethearts here, get timed out because they had a beef about another member, groups of members, or a topic. I think that special care should be given to these members via a private message in an understanding way, along with a warning, rather than a moderator only giving a warning once or twice in the forum.

I am fully aware I am a community member that is not a *sweetheart* and what I mean by that is I don't post all sugary and sweet nor do I add any form of glitter be it verbal or visual. Am I a sweet heart at all? Most likely to those I love and care for and those who I have spent some kind of invested time with. I find it funny in the ironic funny ha ha kind of way that if I had been a more *sweet* kind of posting femme the stories would be different.

The outrage would be different and this thread may have continued with it's intent. *I* am feeling this because when I read that if you are DA and NT and there is some form of inappropriate behaviours the NT persons experience is dismissed.

No means NO..

It's universal, nowhere in this world can you scream out no to someone who is crossing a line (regardless of how small that line is) and then the person screaming no will be looked upon as being wrong, lacking empathy and for the shame having someone wag their finger at them for putting themselves in that situation or for not just walking away.

I am in awe at this very thought.

The world regardless of our capacities has rules, NO

STOP

LEAVE ME ALONE

are things we are ALL taught to respect. I was at least in a few languages.

I can't wrap my head around the whole some people you can tell no to and they don't have to listen to you thinking.

I can't wrap my mind around the whole if you type like this and smile and spread sunshine and some you are valued more vs the
people who tend not to be so sweet and are a lil more brutal. I call that double standards. That's just me though, and while fully aware that this is an image I live with, and am fine with I still gotta say it's gross to watch the value according to who is more important and who is not.

When someone gets told over and over and over and it's handled by the person, by mods, by the leaders of the community and they still choose to not heed those warnings should they be given a special pass to say whatever they want at any given time?

If yes why?

Why can't everyone have that pass?

How uncomfortable for the people who aren't as assertive as some of us, who will get their boundaries crossed because they read this and get the feeling that well, I really can't do anything because I am going to be looked upon as the bad guy and they the person with some difference other than what you have.

How odd that some people only harrass femmes, yet don't try this kind of assertiveness with butches or guys in this community. THAT says a lot to ME.... Cause why pick on the feminine and femme women why not cross those boundaries with the butches and guys? Makes me go hmm...


In addition:

There's a reason survivors of abuse kept their mouths shut, it just hit me
we do it because we are shamed and treated like we did something wrong.
Pretty fucked up

[JustBeingMe]

I am a HUGE FAN of the Infamous IGGY BUTTON!! It works well and keeps me from acting like an idiot engaging in drama online. I just hate drama!! I want no part of it from ANYONE, abled or differently abled for that matter.

Signed,
IGGY USER

[Apocalipstic]

Welcome back SuperFemme! xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

I think this has been a great thread to open up a dialog on this important subject.

On the subject of form letter answers or emails from the Mods, I have received emails from mods that I thought were form emails too. However after discussing with June and really thinking about how many emails the Mods and owners have to send out, I suspect that they have a set answer (in their heads) to things, that is very professional and to the point and does, to someone who processes a little differently like me or Belle, look like a form letter.

I don't think anyone is saying that you need to be treated differently, just that someone AS or Autistic processes completely differently, and after a life of being told we are stupid and lazy and all sorts of things for not conforming to everyone else there often is an anger issue when we are asked to change that, if taken into account early in the interaction, can keep things from escalating into a big angry mess where people say a bunch of stuff they don't really mean in anger.

No one is saying that abusing and stalking should be allowed.

I think it is awesome that we have you to go to in cases where someone feels misunderstood. Is there a possibility that June or Medusa could serve as back up Ambassador in cases where you might need a day off? I am not the best at communicating, but I could even help contact June or Medusa or whomever you think would be good.

Hope you feel better!

[The_Lady_Snow]

Wouldn't the Ambassador's back ups be the Moderators or Admins?

Curious.

[adorable]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I am fully aware I am a community member that is not a *sweetheart* and what I mean by that is I don't post all sugary and sweet nor do I add any form of glitter be it verbal or visual. Am I a sweet heart at all? Most likely to those I love and care for and those who I have spent some kind of invested time with. I find it funny in the ironic funny ha ha kind of way that if I had been a more *sweet* kind of posting femme the stories would be different.

I read popcorn as responding to Voltaine's post. I may be wrong about that.

The outrage would be different and this thread may have continued with it's intent. *I* am feeling this because when I read that if you are DA and NT and there is some form of inappropriate behaviours the NT persons experience is dismissed.


The outrage at what? We aren't talking specifics.

No means NO..

100% correct IMO. People have said so and agreed with abuse and physical safety being a serious concern.

It's universal, nowhere in this world can you scream out no to someone who is crossing a line (regardless of how small that line is) and then the person screaming no will be looked upon as being wrong, lacking empathy and for the shame having someone wag their finger at them for putting themselves in that situation or for not just walking away.

I am in awe at this very thought.

The world regardless of our capacities has rules, NO

STOP

LEAVE ME ALONE

are things we are ALL taught to respect. I was at least in a few languages.

I can't wrap my head around the whole some people you can tell no to and they don't have to listen to you thinking.

I can't wrap my mind around the whole if you type like this and smile and spread sunshine and some you are valued more vs the
people who tend not to be so sweet and are a lil more brutal. I call that double standards.

I'm not sure that is what is being said.

That's just me though, and while fully aware that this is an image I live with, and am fine with I still gotta say it's gross to watch the value according to who is more important and who is not.

When someone gets told over and over and over and it's handled by the person, by mods, by the leaders of the community and they still choose to not heed those warnings should they be given a special pass to say whatever they want at any given time?

I didn't think that was the discussion everyone was having.

If yes why?

Why can't everyone have that pass?

How uncomfortable for the people who aren't as assertive as some of us, who will get their boundaries crossed because they read this and get the feeling that well, I really can't do anything because I am going to be looked upon as the bad guy and they the person with some difference other than what you have.

Are people who are not as assertive as the rest of us given a pass to not have to take care of themselves?

How odd that some people only harrass femmes, yet don't try this kind of assertiveness with butches or guys in this community. THAT says a lot to ME.... Cause why pick on the feminine and femme women why not cross those boundaries with the butches and guys? Makes me go hmm...

But we aren't talking about specific situations. That isn't the purpose of this thread.


In addition:

There's a reason survivors of abuse kept their mouths shut, it just hit me
we do it because we are shamed and treated like we did something wrong.
Pretty fucked up



Who shamed who or treated you like you did something wrong? Is it possible that posts are being taken personally when that isn't intended? I tend to be direct, and if I have something I say I say to the person I want to say it to. That for me is seperate then having a discussion on what I think is an important topic that SF wanted people to discuss.

We can't talk about you and not talk about you at the same time. If this thread isn't about a specific person or situation then the discussion can continue it would seem to me. If we are going to make it about a specific person and situation then that is kind of weird since SF has already made it clear it is NOT. But the going back and forth thing is confusing me.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I am fully aware I am a community member that is not a *sweetheart* and what I mean by that is I don't post all sugary and sweet nor do I add any form of glitter be it verbal or visual. Am I a sweet heart at all? Most likely to those I love and care for and those who I have spent some kind of invested time with. I find it funny in the ironic funny ha ha kind of way that if I had been a more *sweet* kind of posting femme the stories would be different.

The outrage would be different and this thread may have continued with it's intent. *I* am feeling this because when I read that if you are DA and NT and there is some form of inappropriate behaviours the NT persons experience is dismissed.

No means NO..

It's universal, nowhere in this world can you scream out no to someone who is crossing a line (regardless of how small that line is) and then the person screaming no will be looked upon as being wrong, lacking empathy and for the shame having someone wag their finger at them for putting themselves in that situation or for not just walking away.

I am in awe at this very thought.

The world regardless of our capacities has rules, NO

STOP

LEAVE ME ALONE

are things we are ALL taught to respect. I was at least in a few languages.

I can't wrap my head around the whole some people you can tell no to and they don't have to listen to you thinking.

I can't wrap my mind around the whole if you type like this and smile and spread sunshine and some you are valued more vs the
people who tend not to be so sweet and are a lil more brutal. I call that double standards. That's just me though, and while fully aware that this is an image I live with, and am fine with I still gotta say it's gross to watch the value according to who is more important and who is not.

When someone gets told over and over and over and it's handled by the person, by mods, by the leaders of the community and they still choose to not heed those warnings should they be given a special pass to say whatever they want at any given time?

If yes why?

Why can't everyone have that pass?

How uncomfortable for the people who aren't as assertive as some of us, who will get their boundaries crossed because they read this and get the feeling that well, I really can't do anything because I am going to be looked upon as the bad guy and they the person with some difference other than what you have.

How odd that some people only harrass femmes, yet don't try this kind of assertiveness with butches or guys in this community. THAT says a lot to ME.... Cause why pick on the feminine and femme women why not cross those boundaries with the butches and guys? Makes me go hmm...


In addition:

There's a reason survivors of abuse kept their mouths shut, it just hit me
we do it because we are shamed and treated like we did something wrong.
Pretty fucked up

Seriously, we are not saying you need to put up with anything or be abused. Just that people communicate differently and that in some cases for many of us the ignore is useful or that maybe people with special communications needs could have a buddy they run their posts through before they post.

Some of your posts can seem inflamatory at times and so can mine, but we know each other in person and know what intent is behind the posts for the most part...or I hope so Not everyone has this honor.

In a situation where both parties have been abused and are filled with anger, things can escalate to a point where things are said in anger that no one means and these situations could be avoided in the first place with some intervention....I agree that if you do not know the person it is impossible to tell if they are in fact a threat or just talking smack and we should err on the side of caution.

Now, I have said over and over that there are some people who are likely not able to make these distinctions and who refuse to use the ignore button or ask for moderation or for a friend to vet their posts. If over time outs and discussions nothing seems to help, at some point the owners and mods are going to have to make a big decision, is the person worth helping or not.

My opinion? We have people of both types here and sadly someone is going to have to make the decision of how much is too much.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Wouldn't the Ambassador's back ups be the Moderators or Admins?

Curious.

I would think so, but it might help to have a specific person who understands the issue.

Not trying to be an ass.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I would think so, but it might help to have a specific person who understands the issue.

Not trying to be an ass.

Please help me understand

We have SF the Ambassador

then the rest of the Mods

which leads to the Site Owners

How are all these people not understanding the issues?

I am confused

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Please help me understand

We have SF the Ambassador

then the rest of the Mods

which leads to the Site Owners

How are all these people not understanding the issues?

I am confused

Say SF is unable to use the computer. Maybe someone with special issues might feel more comfortable going to the same mod who maybe is the one who looks over the mental health threads or is familiar with special needs issues.

Nothing against SF, she is wonderful and I am so thankful for her! She can't be around 24/7, no one can.

Does that make more sense?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Say SF is unable to use the computer. Maybe someone with special issues might feel more comfortable going to the same mod who maybe is the one who looks over the mental health threads or is familiar with special needs issues.

Nothing against SF, she is wonderful and I am so thankful for her! She can't be around 24/7, no one can.

Does that make more sense?

I would assume if SF needed a day or two off the Mods have it handled as well as the Owners.. I am assuming here though. I mean Mods take days off and we ALL still have to act with common courtesy.

*shrugs*

I think SF does a great job and a lot for her community hell I gotta give her mad props for doing it considering everything that is going on.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Say SF is unable to use the computer. Maybe someone with special issues might feel more comfortable going to the same mod who maybe is the one who looks over the mental health threads or is familiar with special needs issues.

Nothing against SF, she is wonderful and I am so thankful for her! She can't be around 24/7, no one can.

Does that make more sense?

If I am not able to perform my "duties" as DA Ambassador, there will always be someone filling in.

Really, before you try to change the structure let's see more people who need a liason engage with me as such. Right now, other than this thread not one person has pm'd me for assistance.

So if that changes and it needs to be a 24/7 thing, I'm sure the Admins will restructure.

I'd also like to add that in the capacity of DA Ambassador I am ALL about working to accommodate whomever is DA that needs help. Who I sleep with, hang with and play with have the same rules as the rest of us. As a mother of 4 I can assure you that I am able to be fair and compassionate without ever taking sides. Were I not the children would have killed each other years ago.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I would assume if SF needed a day or two off the Mods have it handled as well as the Owners.. I am assuming here though. I mean Mods take days off and we ALL still have to act with common courtesy.

*shrugs*

I think SF does a great job and a lot for her community hell I gotta give her mad props for doing it considering everything that is going on.

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

If I am not able to perform my "duties" as DA Ambassador, there will always be someone filling in.

Really, before you try to change the structure let's see more people who need a liason engage with me as such. Right now, other than this thread not one person has pm'd me for assistance.

So if that changes and it needs to be a 24/7 thing, I'm sure the Admins will restructure.

I'd also like to add that in the capacity of DA Ambassador I am ALL about working to accommodate whomever is DA that needs help. Who I sleep with, hang with and play with have the same rules as the rest of us. As a mother of 4 I can assure you that I am able to be fair and compassionate without ever taking sides. Were I not the children would have killed each other years ago.

OK, let's step back.

I am NOT trying to change the structure, I just thought it might make some people who think they can't contact the moderators directly about an issue feel more comfortable if SF is out.

I sincerely until yesterday did not know it was OK for me to contact a mod directly if I did not agree with them, I bet a bunch of people think that too and are afraid to say.

That is all.

If it is not possible, no problem.

Of course mad props to SF!

and to the owners and to all the mods!

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

OK, let's step back.

I am NOT trying to change the structure, I just thought it might make some people who think they can't contact the moderators directly about an issue feel more comfortable if SF is out.

That is all.

If it is not possible, no problem. Was trying to be helpful, I will stop.

Of course mad props to SF!

and to the owners and to all the mods!

I hear you Jen.

It's not that it is not possible, it is that at the moment it is not necessary.

If somebody doesn't feel good about coming to me for ANY reason I can assure you that ALL of the mod's are fabulous and fair. It is fine to skip me and go right to them any time needed.

My only concern is making sure that all of our DA'd members have a voice. That nobody is treated unfairly because of a DA, and to be a fellow DA'd member always available for questions, concerns, advice and assistance in any capacity needed.

I've always got my eye out for any signs whatsoever of unfair treatment of our portion of the population.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

If I am not able to perform my "duties" as DA Ambassador, there will always be someone filling in.

Really, before you try to change the structure let's see more people who need a liason engage with me as such. Right now, other than this thread not one person has pm'd me for assistance.

So if that changes and it needs to be a 24/7 thing, I'm sure the Admins will restructure.

I'd also like to add that in the capacity of DA Ambassador I am ALL about working to accommodate whomever is DA that needs help. Who I sleep with, hang with and play with have the same rules as the rest of us. As a mother of 4 I can assure you that I am able to be fair and compassionate without ever taking sides. Were I not the children would have killed each other years ago.

Maybe this thread will help people know that they can contact you for assistance if they need it!

That it is OK to feel misunderstood and that you guys are here to help.

Just like many people are afraid of the police and won't go to them with problems, so mentally ill and some DA people fear auhority figures too. They need to know that you are here to help, like you help me all the time.

[JustBeingMe]

I have to say that June is completely right. I have had several interactions since I joined, with mods, for whatever reasons we needed to, and they were NOT form types, they were typing LIVE to me. The mods and admins here are very compassionate and try their best to resolve things in the best manner possible. I am grateful for them doing so. On other sites, it's just hit you and run. No discussion with you at all. Your presumed guilty and judged without any interactions with them. Its really sad too.
I am Glad we have the mods and admins we do and that they are compassionate.
Thank you June.
Signed,
Me.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by June

Apoc and Snow -

This is not an issue either of you need to be hashing out in the thread. Apoc, if you have questions, please direct them to the Admins and/or Mods according to your comfort level. Snow, same deal. I am not reading Jen as questioning SF's ability to do this work at all. I am seeing her being concerned for how the process works, and that's up to us to decide.

So - Let's get things back on track in here, shall we? I believe it's supposed to be about talking about if people get a pass or not based on being differently abled.

If this thread continues to escalate - And yeah, I'm not clueless, I see the jabs going on, I am going to come back in here and start moderating and calling out the behaviors specifically, and I don't really have time to do that today, but I will.

If you've got nothing constructive to say about The Mythical Pass, then go find something else to do and stop making it so damn personal.

June - Moderator Voice

Thank you June! Point taken!

[JustBeingMe]

I believe SuperFemme would make a great Ambassador for the Differently Abled. Thank you for starting this thread, SF, and making it a place for much needed discussion. I too am disabled, and have ptsd, anxiety and depression, which can sometimes have an effect upon me how I read posts or reply to them in heated discussions. So, I have forced myself to use the iggy button to keep me from interacting the wrong way. I also have strong values and those are unbendable and I don't see the grey areas well enough at times, and that also causes me to react strongly over things too. So, I use the iggy button when I get to the point of being sucked into drama online. I have to. I can't handle any kind of drama in real time or online. It becomes way too much for me and sets off my issues like ptsd, and my anxiety and sometimes it deepens my depression.
ok I'll stop rattling my mind.
But seriously, Thanks SF for stepping up to the plate for us.
B.