Is Marriage for you?

[TruTexan]

Marriage? Is it for me? I would say YES. I want to be married to the love of my life. Right now, I'm single, I just haven't met the right woman YET.
Maybe one day I will find the Right woman for me.

[betruetoyoursoul]

I realize marriage is not for everyone....In the future I would love to be married to my forever love*S

[VintageFemme]

Absolutely.

It's the stuff my dreams are made of.

[Glenn]

Yes. I have been faithfully married for 35 years. But it is very hard. Sh*it happens. I probably would have still been married if my wife hadn't become incurably ill with schizophrenia. You'll need a lot of patience, discipline, and control, along with genuine respect and love, to make it last a life-time.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Got married once. Loved the bond and loved being called wife. My error was with what happend between us and in not understanding certain aspects of character with my exwife.

So yes, I would do it again. I think I'd be even more cautious about it, and yes a prenup (even though I never had any problems that way between my ex and I), and I wouldn't want us to live together. I feel much, much more open to getting married again than to living with someone again.

Besides, where I live, if we live together for two years, we are domestic partners and all the same legal stuff kicks in anyway. Might as well have a big party, be able to be called a wife, and NOT live together!

I'm not raising kids or dogs, I have my own money, my own career and soon my own place. Id like to share the good stuff with someone, not become jointly locked in debt and domestic chores. Wow. Sexy.

[Shystonefem]

I don't know.

My license plate clearly reads "nvr*agn". Lol

There would have to be a prenup and we would have to agree on everything to do with finances, chores, etc before we got married.

I was cheated on and, although we split the houses, the cheat and cheater live in the house I used to live in.

I guess the answer is no unless someone blows my mind.

[Orema]

I'm not getting married again. I was married to a man for a very long time and lived with a woman for a number of years and I don't want those kinds of relationships again.

Living on opposite sides of the park, lake or city is what I want, or even different cities would work for me. Spend a few days at her place, a few at mine, then off on our own. I like exclusive and monogamous relationships, but I need my own space and want time on my own.

[RockOn]

Is marriage for me?
Never!!

[CherylNYC]

Marriage? Perhaps... well, maybe. Not really sure.

I've never been married although I was handfasted to my long-ago ex. We also got domestic partnership, which was the only government sponsored relationship validation available to us at the time. My ex regarded our relationship as a marriage, but I did not. She was narcissistic and very difficult. I would not have gotten married to her had that been available to us, but we had all the trappings of marriage except shared bank accounts, thank the Goddess.

I very likely could have eventually gotten married to my late partner, but it wasn't available and we were only together four years before her accident. Four years just isn't long enough for me to make that choice. I would have to know and trust a person for a very, very long time before I took such a drastic step.

Now I just don't feel as if there's a life partner for me somewhere out in our small world. If I were to meet her... oh, I don't know.

Maybe.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Of course I would only marry someone who blew my socks off and I knew for years, we travelled well together, we were sexually great together, had similar goals and values, and both of us fit the not living together dynamic I mentioned.

I didn't get married to six out of seven of my long term relationships. Of course they would have to be someone I wanted to be with through thick and thin.

I'm baffled that anyone would get married for anything less than someone who blew them out of the water and to someone who fit extremely well within your life. Isn't that why you wait at least five years before marrying someone? I know people who have waited 12 years.

Who is running off and getting married less than three years with someone? That's not the fault of marriage. That's the fault of letting romance get in the way of being well matched. Most of the reasons I see for people not wanting to get married (aside from political reasons) have to do with an asshole or bizarre expectations being involved, not that they found the practice of ritual public bonding to be at fault.

I understand political reasons.

But really, it's your marriage. You can make it into any form you want.

It can be open or group or monogamous or living together or living in different suites in the same house or across town or in a different country. You can have kids, no kids, fur babies or foster. Have separate vacations, travel together as a way to live and be nomads. Have a marriage be polyandrous (many husbands). Be circus performers together.

Marriage is really individual. I'm not going to be living with someone. And although I want to take some of my vacations with them, there will be long weekends I take on my own. My space is *mine* and their space is theirs and I would love to be an adored guest in their space and them an adored guest in mine. I lived in a group vegan house with 7 other queers and genderqueers who were mostly poly when my exwife and I were first married.
Just make it up as you go along. Fuck convention.

[Jane Bond]

Originally Posted by Orema

I'm not getting married again. I was married to a man for a very long time and lived with a woman for a number of years and I don't want those kinds of relationships again.

Living on opposite sides of the park, lake or city is what I want, or even different cities would work for me. Spend a few days at her place, a few at mine, then off on our own. I like exclusive and monogamous relationships, but I need my own space and want time on my own.

I always thought a duplex with a shared back yard would be a great solution.

[fever]

Originally Posted by Jane Bond

I always thought a duplex with a shared back yard would be a great solution.

This is a particularly good idea if your partner doesn't care much for children, and you have 4 grandchildren. Yes, I am about to become a grandma again and loving it!!!!!

[Jane Bond]

Originally Posted by TruTexan

Marriage? Is it for me? I would say YES. I want to be married to the love of my life. Right now, I'm single, I just haven't met the right woman YET.
Maybe one day I will find the Right woman for me.

Get a prenup, and best wishes.

[MsTinkerbelly]

I'm curious about something....

Of the 18 people who said in the poll that they had an alternate joining, will any of you now be getting married as it is legal everywhere here in the States?

Has anyone that said no they never would, gotten married since?

If you were married at the time of the poll, have you since divorced?

One of the arguments always used against us to deny equal marriage, was that we jumped from relationship to relationship, and didn't want/need marriage...have you found yourselves taking relationships more seriously since marriage equality passed?

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

I'm curious about something....

Of the 18 people who said in the poll that they had an alternate joining, will any of you now be getting married as it is legal everywhere here in the States?

Has anyone that said no they never would, gotten married since?

If you were married at the time of the poll, have you since divorced?

One of the arguments always used against us to deny equal marriage, was that we jumped from relationship to relationship, and didn't want/need marriage...have you found yourselves taking relationships more seriously since marriage equality passed?

Interesting questions, I hope someone steps up and answers!