Beyond the blues...The Mean Reds.

[cinderella]

Kobi, thank you for participating, and for your input. I agree with much of what you've said here, and you've said some very good things. However, as you said: "...no one can know your journey or thoughts...", you cannot state that I am not depressed. Existential angst? Of course, that is undoubtedly a part of it as well. But, yes, I do get depressed, so much so, that I have many times entertained the notion of commiting suicide. But, for good or not, I am too cowardly to do such a thing. I am not afraid of death - sometimes I think it would be a welcome thing, but I am afraid of the act itself - that's why I cannot do it.

For the most part, I am a happy and optomistic person - I love life, people (for the most part), and laughter. I love the earth we live in - I believe nature and all it's beauty are by far the greatest gift we have - I embrace it, and thank God for every morning I wake up. Still, that does not exempt me from feeling down and low at times. I am constantly trying to light a fire under myself, but somehow my motivation wans with the passing years...

Originally Posted by Kobi

I am thinking the issue here is not depression but the existential angst we humans go thru now and then as we evaluate our lives and see it isnt what we expected or hoped it would be at various stages along the way.

I think it is a necessary process in individual human evolution as we grow and change. What used to have meaning for us no longer does. Hence, to where will we grow next?

It's kind of like "God" or whatever you believe in. giving you a slap upside the head, urging you to seek meaning and those experiences that can bring it.

I have found it to be a solitary endeavor, as noone can know your journey or thoughts, hopes, dreams any clearer than you can. Once clear, others can maybe help suggest how to get from here to there. But, even that is kind of subjective.

It is an uncomfortable place sometimes, but as with most processes....there are positive aspects and sucky aspects.

It might help to see it as growing pangs, knowing something good is at the end of the process.....a new way of thinking, a new way of being, getting out of your comfort zone, trying new things, taking risks, learning, experiencing, growing etc.

Sometimes, it might seem or even be overwhelming. But, I truly believe the answers you seek are within your grasp. Trust the process.