05-16-2010, 09:34 AM | #41 |
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OMG that would melt me. I got goose bumps just reading it.
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05-16-2010, 09:37 AM | #42 |
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Do me, this way NOW! lol- yes I understand. You exist to please her at any capacity. Perfect sense.
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05-16-2010, 09:40 AM | #43 |
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weatherboi
What a wonderful idea for a thread and topic to enlighten, such wonderful responses thus far. In my journey I currently am femme top, who has always had an Alpha Energy and learned that while trying to be a submissive to a wonderful Syr. He taught me many lesson during the time we shared. The most important one never let anyone take away who you are, the gift of energy that you and your MS share is an amazing soul dance of reflective energy, those who don't understand, judge or belittle that energetic dance simply are missing a beautiful soul connection. In my life I've walked away from friendships that judged me, now although I'm an Alpha Femme and Top, my relationship now is with my Syr. Do I submit to Hym yes in everyway but that is how we started our Soul Energy and I evolved into what was already in me. Our relationship now is Hy is still my Syr, and allows my Alpha Energy into our relationship. Hy isn't a switch, but with Syr, I guess I'm the switch. Together we nourish each other and the energy we share. It can be complex, but that's for another thread.
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05-16-2010, 09:44 AM | #44 |
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Oh yes... the fact that a submissive may participate in the act of intercourse does not in any way change the roles they play in their relationship.... it just expresses the fact that the submissive strives to please his/her Mistress and does exactly as he/her is told. yummy...
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05-16-2010, 09:47 AM | #45 | |
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05-16-2010, 09:52 AM | #46 |
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Thanks for starting this thread weatherboi. I started to post yesterday and stopped. I try to stay out of ID type threads due to the level of nastiness that normally results from them. Who we all are is complicated. There is nothing wrong with being just who you are and how you are - even if it makes sense only to you. What I have seen is that people are quick to say "YOU can't be that way because that doesn't work in MY head." lol. As if, how I am somehow makes them something else. Or the way that it works in my head means that I am trying to somehow negate how they feel even though I am talking about what works for ME. MY TRUTH. It doesn't belong to anyone else. I love it though when people say "No, you are wrong." Really? Why? What makes them right? Apparently, they think so - that makes it true.
Those things that are hot for us, our kinks and perversions are very personal and I think, they should be celebrated. I do now consider myself a submissive - that acknowledgement and understanding seemed to take FOREVER for me. I did consider it weak - although I wanted the exact same things as I do now, I called it something else before - anything but submissive. It was hard for me to understand the power exchange and the powerful stance of submitting. That I wasn't submitting to someone who was better then me somehow - that is where my head took it. (My ego hates that line of thinking.) I am a strong personality. I run things for a living. I had a million things that I thought meant that I was not a submissive or would make a horrible submissive. lol. I asked a ton of questions, I read a lot, I talked to other submissives and dom(me)s. Now I GET IT. Finally. And some people may still not consider me to be a submissive. What matters to me is that I do (and -->HE does. lol) I don't need the world to get it. Submissive - the word - has the perception of weakness associated with it by society. Dominance is rewarded. Being on the bottom, we have been taught, doesn't seem quite so successful as being on the top of - well anything. What I wanted was to be submissive without the negative societal implications that I was somehow weaker for it. I bottom ONLY to masculine male IDs and I top ONLY to feminine female IDs. It is very specific and about extremes for me. And it's not enough for them to have the right ID, they have to have the right look, attitude and level of disturbed-ness that works for me too. Now that may seem outwardly to be straightforward misogyny. It's not that I see male as more powerful and women as weaker in day to day life - but how I want to fuck and be fucked has very little with day to day life. It does have everything to do with perversion, my idea of hotness, a fucked up childhood and the twisted way that my mind works. Some people get off on the opposite, or something in between or riding a life size my little pony around the house. Somethings work and somethings just don't for each of us. I think we can all agree though that having a life size my little pony is hot. Society in general accepts my outward appearance more readily than others, in the same way that people just "get" (even though they have no idea about the REAL reason for why) that I want to be topped by a male ID. They don't question my desire for that in the same way they would you for wanting to be topped by a femme. I've heard people say a real butch doesn't_____ !! (Just fill in anything like a mad lib - just about every verb works.) Hearing that shit is like nails on a chalkboard for me. Like some people refer to their partner as "my old lady." Ugh. Welcome to 2010 folks.... There is so much more I'd like to say but now it would head off into the butch femme thing for me - which NEVER EVER works - so I will stop. Great thread! |
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05-16-2010, 10:02 AM | #47 |
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I am so lucky to be blessed with my boy, my beautiful handsome Pete.
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05-16-2010, 10:13 AM | #48 | |
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It is so interesting that in our relationship I fit the role of the submissive you describe... yet I feel COMPLETELY in control when I am Mistress. It is wonderful that you are able and willing to allow your submissive to develop other aspects of themselves should they desire to do so... That is exactly how my Daddy became my Daddy and now my Sir... To suppress a persons needs and desires to mold to your own needs and desires is to stifle that persons emotional growth. I know first hand the beauty of allowing a person to be exactly who they are. I am glad you have stood up for yourself and not settled for less than who you are. Becca |
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05-16-2010, 10:19 AM | #49 |
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your welcome weatherboi
Let me explain what I mean by 'the bottom runs the fuck'. In the kink world we negotiate what is going to happen. Boundaries are set about what is and is not acceptable for the bottom/sub and the Top/Dom/Domme. The bottom sets her/hys/his boundaries and the Top is obliged to respect them. The bottom gets a safeword. That safeword can end the scene. The power to end the scene is in the hands of the bottom....the bottom runs the fuck in that sense. (Yes as a Top I have ended scenes because I thought the bottom was not capable because of the headsapce she/he was in.) The above staterment is a generality. Yes, there are D/s M/s relationships that have negotiated no safe word. The key here is in the negotiation part. All the M/s D/s relationships I know of also have a set time to sit down and renegotiate the contract. Again power is in the hands of the bottom. Once all that is done........well then the Top takes over and runs the scene/fuck. Hope that makes sense and clarifies what I mean. edited to add: I am mystified, sometimes, at how some folks just don't want to see the power inherent in being a bottom/sub.....
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05-16-2010, 10:55 AM | #50 | |
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great post thanks!
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05-16-2010, 11:06 AM | #51 |
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Perhaps you could clarify something for me, I'm confused about the derision you experience. Are the guilty parties primarily outside of the leather/bdsm community? Or have things changed? I had to serve as a bottom, before I could call myself a top, a practice which made sound sense to me, one of the many reasons being, to impress upon me, that a bottom is never less than.
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05-16-2010, 11:09 AM | #52 | |
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This post was very nice. You seem like you would be a kind femdom.
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05-16-2010, 11:31 AM | #53 | |
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Thanks Andrew for your input. Now I will give some to you.
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05-16-2010, 12:04 PM | #54 | |
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hi adorable-
thanks for putting forth such effort! great post! Quote:
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05-16-2010, 12:14 PM | #55 |
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Bottoms run the fuck? I believe bottoms run the fuck in s/m scenes where it's all about them and all about sensation---they pull out the "No" that shuts a scene down. Or they safeword because it's too much, too intense, too owie, too whatever.
These are scenes about the bottoms sensation and pleasure of masochism NOT about an energy exchange based on a giving over, and submitting, or a willingness to serve. M/s and D/s relationship do involve negotiations to BUILD TRUST--then yes, it is all about the Top (or me). I view a new slave or subs safeword as a guide for me to know where their tolerance is or the things that get them "there" faster, but I don't think, oh I should never use that or never go "there". I go where I want to go, and I know a sub or slave wants me to do that too. A slave or subs "safeword" is more of a way to inform and not necessarily stop their Master/Mistress or Dominant. These kinds of s/m and play relationships are based on relating--not solely sensation play. So many put my M/s relationships down--you don't really RUN THE FUCK, your slave could stop that at any time, well, you're still in a butch/femme relationship, we know who really runs the show----shut the fuck up, you don't really know what the dynamic is especially when you don't LIVE IT but rather read about it and philosphize about it, and can't even stay awake in a workshop about it. And as to all this--femme Top with butch bottom, or butch Top playing w/ butch bois or butch on femme, or butch Top with femme bottom.....geeesus, there's room for all. Put downs, leave 'em at the door. Just cuz it ain't your kink, leave it alone. We get put down enough by society at large, why can't we let our own live and let live? People too stupid to see the power of a great slave, sub, girl/boi--to hell with them. I want power house slaves and subs in my life--butch or femme. Rope-- p.s. weatherboi---you sooooooooo know you're welcome in my home anytime and I won't embarass you here raving about your great service. But it's the little touches---to turn a wine bottle <g>. your service is a tribute to your Ma'am. |
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05-16-2010, 12:30 PM | #56 | |
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05-16-2010, 12:30 PM | #57 | |
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Since I love age play with bois, it becomes even more edgy to be a bottom boi. Not only are women "less then sexual" as Momma, the boi is pushed and misunderstood in hys boi self. The Momma/boi dynamic is deeply intimate and even more marginalized from the larger D/s, Daddy/boi/girl community. There is nothing that brings out the Momma Bear in me then fucking with my boi's 12 year old self. Respect the bottom who consents with complete understanding to the life we agree upon (as Toughy says negotiation and communication are paramount) especially when playing psychologically with age dynamics and sexuality. One of the other things that always bothers me is that a lot of the butch Tops I know would be horrified and angry if someone approached their femme bottom with propositions, nasty comments, corrections and derision. Yet, it has happened to everyone of my bois. It is sad that being a boi somehow you have to "butch it up" and that telling me about hys experience is "tattle-telling" not being transparent to hys Top. The double standard floors me...but as we continue to realize that misogyny has deep and tangled roots, we recognize and hopefully change our behavior to be most respectful of all relationships.
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05-16-2010, 01:06 PM | #58 |
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Weatherboi, I did not know you were with Lady Snow. This is news to me. Nobody said so much as boo to me. Andrew |
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05-16-2010, 01:38 PM | #59 | |
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*on my knees head down*
Sir Rope- Your words ring true to my leather heart and feelings. i thank You for taking Your time and Your knowledge to address this thread. Quote:
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05-16-2010, 01:44 PM | #60 | |
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