Making it work 24/7

Chad · 04-29-2017, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ocean

your spouse should show up w/ lunch and her as a snack ~

Haha ocean, when/if I get a spouse I will suggest this.

kittygrrl · 04-30-2017, 06:03 PM

"the best thing to hold onto in life is each other"

girl_dee · 05-01-2017, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

"the best thing to hold onto in life is each other"

this is the basis for a living a happy poly family 24/7 long distance lifestyle.

kittygrrl · 05-02-2017, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

this is the basis for a living a happy poly family 24/7 long distance lifestyle.

I agree...poly families can be amazing and beautiful

girl_dee · 05-02-2017, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

I agree...poly families can be amazing and beautiful

Sure can! But It can be lots of work, especially for the HoH but if the result is Happy People it is worth it. ....

Making it work means everyone needs to be honest and my truth is i love my poly wiring.

Making it work 24/7 means you dont judge others in your fold for having emotions you just try to help them get through it with love and support

hopelessromantic69 · 07-25-2017, 06:13 PM

Communication, honesty and the ability to compromise are things I feel are a must. Forgiveness and hope are helpful also

girl_dee · 07-26-2017, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopelessromantic69

Communication, honesty and the ability to compromise are things I feel are a must. Forgiveness and hope are helpful also

hope yes but when all hope is gone its time to move on...

i will compromise but i won't lose myself in the process..

2qt · 07-26-2017, 07:00 AM

Trust, no expectations to give more then you have or take more then you can't give, patience, tolerance, honesty, time & respect for each others boundaries & personal spaces, be on the same page together, communication, acceptance....

AmazonDC · 07-26-2017, 08:52 AM

Honesty,trust,flexability,respect,and remembering always why you love each other in the first place.. ability to give space when needed and never going to bed without a kiss ad hug ..

kittygrrl · 09-07-2017, 11:14 AM

I know it sounds like a given-but when you become a couple and the wild ride of court ship fades into a pleasant memory...if saying please and thank you isn't second nature, it's important to make it a part of your everyday consciousness-Letting our spouse/significant other know we appreciate the smallest thoughtful thing he or she does for us is important-It's easy to take for granted they know how grateful we are for their thoughtfulness but.......................even if they are--> say it anyway! It makes them feel good to have it verbalized. Try it! and you will see a smile. I guarantee it.

Mel C. · 09-07-2017, 02:28 PM

Let me start off by saying that I don't have a great track record with LDR's. Despite that, I think I've figured out a few things that work for me.

1) Being mindful. Focusing on the present without trying to analyze or judge my thoughts and feelings is a new concept for me. My previous relationships were focused on an end game...living together, marriage or some other formal commitment.

2) Being present. Engagement in my partner's activities helps me feel more connected. Just because we are thousands of miles apart doesn't mean I don't want to know how her day at work went or what she had for dinner. We spend more time on FaceTime than I nave spent with people I date in real-time.

3) Being committed - making plans for the next visit is really important to me. We don't have to focus on the separation if we know when we will be together again. This step also includes making sure she knows I am committed to her. She has to be treated as a priority.

4) Being open. This includes being honest about the hardships. Separation is difficult, more at some times than others. I can talk about it (or hear about it) without wallowing in self pity over the situation.

I'm having a 'moment' and can't remember what else I was going to say. I'll be back if there are any epiphanies.

girl_dee · 09-15-2017, 03:55 AM

using a ton of ways to tell each other you are thinking of them.

kittygrrl · 09-15-2017, 12:26 PM

It takes (20) positive comments to undo (1) negative one-So make the effort even if you are not normally verbal to let them know you-love her new shoes, you dig his new hair cut, buzz by the office to share lunch, or text him/her "hi" ..little notes in his coat pocket (that he will find at some point) letting him know how amazing he is-and most of all-be sincere!!

04-30-2017, 06:03 PM	#2
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: sipping on honey wine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,503 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,659 Thanked 22,083 Times in 7,162 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	"the best thing to hold onto in life is each other" __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

07-25-2017, 06:13 PM	#6
hopelessromantic69 Member How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: all male Relationship Status: Single but unavailable Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Eugene OR Posts: 394 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 108 Thanked 478 Times in 195 Posts Rep Power: 3686583	Communication, honesty and the ability to compromise are things I feel are a must. Forgiveness and hope are helpful also __________________ Stefan

09-07-2017, 11:14 AM	#10
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: sipping on honey wine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,503 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,659 Thanked 22,083 Times in 7,162 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	Please & Thank you I know it sounds like a given-but when you become a couple and the wild ride of court ship fades into a pleasant memory...if saying please and thank you isn't second nature, it's important to make it a part of your everyday consciousness-Letting our spouse/significant other know we appreciate the smallest thoughtful thing he or she does for us is important-It's easy to take for granted they know how grateful we are for their thoughtfulness but.......................even if they are--> say it anyway! It makes them feel good to have it verbalized. Try it! and you will see a smile. I guarantee it. __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

09-07-2017, 02:28 PM	#11
Mel C. Long-time Member How Do You Identify?: WIB - woman identified butch Preferred Pronoun?: Your choice...not really a button for me Relationship Status: ♡ married 1/1/2019♡ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: San Diego Posts: 2,149 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,772 Thanked 6,828 Times in 1,621 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Let me start off by saying that I don't have a great track record with LDR's. Despite that, I think I've figured out a few things that work for me. 1) Being mindful. Focusing on the present without trying to analyze or judge my thoughts and feelings is a new concept for me. My previous relationships were focused on an end game...living together, marriage or some other formal commitment. 2) Being present. Engagement in my partner's activities helps me feel more connected. Just because we are thousands of miles apart doesn't mean I don't want to know how her day at work went or what she had for dinner. We spend more time on FaceTime than I nave spent with people I date in real-time. 3) Being committed - making plans for the next visit is really important to me. We don't have to focus on the separation if we know when we will be together again. This step also includes making sure she knows I am committed to her. She has to be treated as a priority. 4) Being open. This includes being honest about the hardships. Separation is difficult, more at some times than others. I can talk about it (or hear about it) without wallowing in self pity over the situation. I'm having a 'moment' and can't remember what else I was going to say. I'll be back if there are any epiphanies. Last edited by Mel C.; 09-07-2017 at 02:32 PM.

09-15-2017, 12:26 PM	#13
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: Fae Relationship Status: sipping on honey wine Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,503 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,659 Thanked 22,083 Times in 7,162 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	It takes (20) positive comments to undo (1) negative one-So make the effort even if you are not normally verbal to let them know you-love her new shoes, you dig his new hair cut, buzz by the office to share lunch, or text him/her "hi" ..little notes in his coat pocket (that he will find at some point) letting him know how amazing he is-and most of all-be sincere!! __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis

07-26-2017, 07:00 AM	#8
2qt Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her.. Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Mothership Posts: 873 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 861 Thanked 1,966 Times in 582 Posts Rep Power: 15312203	Trust, no expectations to give more then you have or take more then you can't give, patience, tolerance, honesty, time & respect for each others boundaries & personal spaces, be on the same page together, communication, acceptance....

07-26-2017, 08:52 AM	#9
AmazonDC Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: DC Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: colorado Posts: 499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 346 Thanked 1,485 Times in 430 Posts Rep Power: 13453158	Honesty,trust,flexability,respect,and remembering always why you love each other in the first place.. ability to give space when needed and never going to bed without a kiss ad hug ..

09-15-2017, 03:55 AM	#12
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	using a ton of ways to tell each other you are thinking of them.