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Old 05-15-2017, 10:05 PM   #261
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Don't ignore your gut feeling/red flags thinking love will conquer all and make everything okay/better. It needs to be good from the beginning.

Actions may speak louder than words, but words still mean something.

Stand your ground. Don't let anyone intimidate/guilt you into staying. They do not own you, and you don't owe anything to anyone.

Walk away from alcohol/drug use. You can't save them. They have to want to save themselves.

Do what makes you happy. Chase your dreams. In the right relationship, you can have it all. A relationship should not entail sacrifice (unless you're sacrificing sleep for late-night sex! )
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Old 05-16-2017, 03:13 AM   #262
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That you cannot deny who YOU are, and if you do, and you are unhappy, you cannot blame the other person.
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Old 05-16-2017, 05:41 AM   #263
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Don't believe everything that you are told.
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Old 05-16-2017, 05:54 AM   #264
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To guide with a steady hand and an open heart
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Old 08-12-2017, 10:38 AM   #265
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Red face

To let go when people chose to leave.

It took a lot this time, but I accepted sometimes people don't feel the same as I do. All because I feel like I miss someone, doesn't mean they do. I needed to accept I'm not gonna die of sadness because someone else can get past things I can't.

There are more people in this world to be stuck on someone, when there's people out there who will be interested in you and hang on your every word when they care. When I finally realized this, I started letting new people in.

Allow yourself to enjoy when people are around, but when they go stop trying to show them anything, its okay to let them leave and move your effort to other people.

After all the pain and suffering after they leave, it really is just a matter of time before the new prince/princess charming shows up. Fix your make up girls, it's just a break up.
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Old 08-12-2017, 11:43 AM   #266
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don't jump to conclusions
respect his opinions, even if you disagree passionately
listen more then talk
laugh more then cry
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Old 08-12-2017, 02:30 PM   #267
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This is beautiful dee. And so true. We as individuals are responsible for making decisions that make us healthy and happy based on who we naturally are and what we really want. With relationships especially.


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Originally Posted by girl_dee View Post
That you cannot deny who YOU are, and if you do, and you are unhappy, you cannot blame the other person.
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Old 08-12-2017, 03:26 PM   #268
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To let go of the what went wrongs & focus on the what was rights, it's an important tool when moving forward & healing from the broken heart, when you only focus on the negatives it suffocates you...To trust in my gut instinct a little more & to not let a partner define my happiness because ultimately my happiness comes from me & me alone... I have that control nobody else...
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Old 08-13-2017, 04:27 AM   #269
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Originally Posted by gotoseagrl View Post
This is beautiful dee. And so true. We as individuals are responsible for making decisions that make us healthy and happy based on who we naturally are and what we really want. With relationships especially.
thanks gototsea


i have to be me at this point....

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Old 10-03-2017, 08:21 PM   #270
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To be extremely careful of who you enter a relationship with. Use much intellect along with emotions. Pause yourself and ask if this is really the right relationship for you. Looks can be deceptive.

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Old 10-04-2017, 12:18 AM   #271
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Sort of inline with the above post.

Not to abandon true deep love and commitment to sizzling hot lust and blazing scenes.

In short order, the sizzling and blaze will burn out.

All that remained were cold embers and memories. Oh, and years of tears.
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Old 10-04-2017, 08:52 AM   #272
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SirenManda View Post
To let go when people chose to leave.

It took a lot this time, but I accepted sometimes people don't feel the same as I do. All because I feel like I miss someone, doesn't mean they do. I needed to accept I'm not gonna die of sadness because someone else can get past things I can't.

There are more people in this world to be stuck on someone, when there's people out there who will be interested in you and hang on your every word when they care. When I finally realized this, I started letting new people in.

Allow yourself to enjoy when people are around, but when they go stop trying to show them anything, its okay to let them leave and move your effort to other people.

After all the pain and suffering after they leave, it really is just a matter of time before the new prince/princess charming shows up. Fix your make up girls, it's just a break up.
.........
So true, if someone wants to leave let them!
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Old 10-04-2017, 07:48 PM   #273
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cathexis View Post
Sort of inline with the above post.

Not to abandon true deep love and commitment to sizzling hot lust and blazing scenes.

In short order, the sizzling and blaze will burn out.

All that remained were cold embers and memories. Oh, and years of tears.
I agree with this...in my twenties "hot" was what counted..but now ..there are more important things--of course you want both always but it's not wise to reject change--because change will always be with us and it's good and we shouldn't be afraid of it and learn to take advantage of it--life is a challenge and this is what keeps it interesting!
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Old 10-04-2017, 09:50 PM   #274
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That the deep friendship in the relationship should come before anything else

That romance is not about grand gestures or words for me. It's about small, little acts of care that are natural. It's about stepping up for me when I can't but not in a "masculine hero" way, more like a "scrubbing bae's puke from around the toilet" way. <<< *that's* romance to me. I mean, that means someone sincerely loves me.

That I find passion in humour, movement, and creative conversations.

That loyalty is more important to me than fidelity

That I'm no longer looking for the passion-romance-chemistry triad. What I want is maturity, skills, compatibility, self acceptance, self responsibility and wit. *fans self*
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