How did you know?

[WolfyOne]

Originally Posted by kassykit

Thank you ! sometimes when it comes to these labels i feel if i'm beating my head against a wall one day i will break down the wall and be comfy with being me!

Sometimes it takes years before one can be comfy with themselves. First you have to figure out who you are or want to be. I've seen gals transform from being a total femme to breaking out and becoming butch. What used to be expected of us is no longer something we have to stand behind. Sometimes all it takes is coming out to family and friends that makes us begin to feel comfy with who we are or who we want to grow into. Trust yourself and it'll all fall into place.

[kassykit]

i'm out, i'm just confused half the time about all the labels, and i get them mixed up and then people get angry!!

I think i like the idea of when asked if i'm butch, femme or a tweener, i'm going to start saying i'm me, mishy.....

[Ursy]

I'm femme... and I love it! I don't care much for make up and heels for the most part, but I guess how I describe it is a "feminine energy".

Which is not to say that I don't love make up and heels, it's just that I usually can't really be bothered with them. Just like I was never really into dolls or the other traditionally girly stuff. But ask my partner, and he'll say I'm femme through and through - even if I am more handy with a toolbox than he is (in some ways)!

I guess I think of labels as useful descriptors. They describe an aspect of me, but it's not the whole of me. And in my book, they are not so rigid as to box me in or define me, and neither should they be.

I believe that a lot of the problem is that people start defining others by their labels and make cages out of them, when really, it should be the other way round. Everyone should have the freedom to define their own meaning of femme, or butch, or trans*, or whatever! Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to identify, as far as I'm concerned.

That's what I think, anyway

[Diva]

I think I'm going to make a label to stick on my arm.....or my ass.... and at the top of it, it's going to say "Nutritional Value".....You know.....like the grocery store....

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by Diva

I think I'm going to make a label to stick on my arm.....or my ass.... and at the top of it, it's going to say "Nutritional Value".....You know.....like the grocery store....

You know, I always thought if I were to get a tattoo, it would be a care label - something like "hand wash only in warm water. Do not tumble dry". Lol!

I don't think I would actually go through with it, but the thought does amuse me...

[Bit]

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

My GF is a jeans and tee shirt gal, but considers herself to be femme. She can dress up or down and never wears makeup because she's allergic to most all brands. Those here that know her, know what I mean. I often call her my tweener, but she hates the label,

{{{{{{{{{{{Wolfy}}}}}}}}} IMO, your GF is a Femme from the top of her head to the tips of her toenails, darlin; there's nothing tweener about her or about her energy--no matter what skills and abilities she has. She's a practical Femme who is good with mechanical things like plumbing. Just like "mechanical skills"--or the lack thereof--doesn't define you as a Butch, it doesn't define her as a Femme.... or me, for that matter, lol...

Originally Posted by kassykit

If i wanna be a flannelwearing, truckdriving cowgirl femme! then so be it! just because i like fannels doenst make me butch!

EXACTLY. Now you've got it! And hey, I do wear flannel... not only that, it's a men's flannel quilted shirt. I wear it as a jacket.

Originally Posted by urs

I believe that a lot of the problem is that people start defining others by their labels and make cages out of them, when really, it should be the other way round. Everyone should have the freedom to define their own meaning of femme, or butch, or trans*, or whatever! Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to identify, as far as I'm concerned.

Yes, yes, yes, Urs, yes! The labels ARE expandable, stretchable, customizable, but only if we choose them for ourselves.

[kassykit]

Ohhh does this mean i can have one that says warning i bite if provoked?

Originally Posted by Diva

I think I'm going to make a label to stick on my arm.....or my ass.... and at the top of it, it's going to say "Nutritional Value".....You know.....like the grocery store....

[Kosmo]

Originally Posted by kassykit

Ohhh does this mean i can have one that says warning i bite if provoked?

Um, you do now

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by kassykit

WOnder if people would get pissy if when asked i just say i'm a Mishy (my r/t nickname btw :P )

Guess i kind of just want to find where i fit..........but perhaps i should stop looking for where i fit, and make me a spot! ahh that is easier said then done...

Originally Posted by kassykit

I am deffinately trying to do this! I like to know other peoples POV's cuz it opens to my mind! new roads and ways of thought!!


If i wanna be a flannelwearing, truckdriving cowgirl femme! then so be it! just because i like fannels doenst make me butch!

correct??

**disclaimer, there is nothing wrong with being butch, i just ain't

I think you being you is the way to go!

I do ID as Femme, seriously though, the only time it really is useful is when you decide to start dating again. It can make it easier to find someone if you can find a concise way of saying how you see yourself/who you are looking for. (ie Cowgirl Femme Top searching for Butch Sub..or whatever....)

I used to drive a big truck for work some back in my 20's, they called me Big-Rig Jenny. Short hair, no make up, Levis, white T shirt, leather jacket, leatherman and huge wrench in my back pocket.

Still Femme.

[kassykit]

Labels to some people are comfort things. i feel femme, therefore i am, however someone who doesn't know me might think something else, hell if i know, i'm so exhausted from working that i have two black eyes! or at east i feel like i do!

Originally Posted by urs

I'm femme... and I love it! I don't care much for make up and heels for the most part, but I guess how I describe it is a "feminine energy".

Which is not to say that I don't love make up and heels, it's just that I usually can't really be bothered with them. Just like I was never really into dolls or the other traditionally girly stuff. But ask my partner, and he'll say I'm femme through and through - even if I am more handy with a toolbox than he is (in some ways)!

I guess I think of labels as useful descriptors. They describe an aspect of me, but it's not the whole of me. And in my book, they are not so rigid as to box me in or define me, and neither should they be.

I believe that a lot of the problem is that people start defining others by their labels and make cages out of them, when really, it should be the other way round. Everyone should have the freedom to define their own meaning of femme, or butch, or trans*, or whatever! Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to identify, as far as I'm concerned.

That's what I think, anyway

[kassykit]

I would like to say a thank you to everyone who has posted here sofar

sometimes i feel a bit confused and am always looking for others views on things.

and thank you all for keeping it nice!

the more views the better!




now its time for choccie and then bed!

[kix4funchick]

I don't really like labels either but I do identify as a femme. I love skirts and pretty shirts and wearing pretty dresses when going to formal occasions. I don't like high heels or anything with heels due to the fear of me falling though I do find them to be rather cute. However, I do wear flats because they're just as cute as heels and I feel safer walking in them. The only make up I wear is mascarra and lip gloss do to me being confident about me looking pretty with just those two and not needing eyeshadow and other things. When it's cold I wear pants with sneakers to keep me warm though I do like my sneakers being girly ones. I do get my nails and toenails done though I sometimes do them myself as well. I like my hair looking pretty, and I wear jewelry. I also like to go shopping and I do like pink though my favorite color is yellow. The pretty and bright yellow, not the pale or barf yellow. All in all I'm a pretty feminine person and I feel like a very feminine person. I just prefer nice skirts and pretty tops to dresses and flip flops and flats to heels.

Wow, I just wrote you guys an essay on why I identify as a femme.

kassy, you don't have to worry about labels if you don't want to do so! i'm ALWAYS a "femme in process", LoL. i'm eccentric as Hecate and Kali, bookish as any good retired librarian /prof should be (!), a gimp and more than half blind and proud of my cane , i wear dresses but not short tight ones (unless ordered to do so by a Syr in our bedroom), i mostly wear pantsjeanslounging wear, and only Simple Shoes shoes that are comfortable or even-dare i say-crocs...in short i am ME but always FEMME. i've come to know the labels that i can choose through experience...queer, grrl, Daddy's grrl, submissive sometimes headstrong, though, stone but not untouchable just don't want to touch in feminizing ways, tomboy, on and on it goes...i suppose i'm saying MAKE YOUR NICHE but don't be afraid of change permutations continuations. don't be afraid of the ETC. and always always LABEL YOURSELF! don't let someone else define you!
just my 2 centimes,
namaste,
pres

[Starbuck]

Hi Kassy,

Like you you I went through a self identification stage, asking myself, "what am I, what kind of lesbian am I?" I had one friend telling me that I was soft butch because of the way that I carry myself, my no nonsense attitude if a fight were to break out, I carry a knife, and I have a concealed weapon permit. Another friend described me as soft femme because I was always cleaning up her kitchen when I'm at her house, or doing other female gender-specific chores, but that I just so happen to have a touch of masculinity in me since I do carry a knife and I burp out loud. BUT, you will not catch me in a dress but I will wear eyeliner and mascara for my lipstick butch g/f who prefers femmes that are a bit tom boyish. I look butch, but I'm not, I'm soft femme; my g/f looks femme, but she's not, she's lipstick butch. Talk about a mind frack!