Things you should never say on a date.

imperfect_cupcake · 06-09-2018, 03:38 PM

When I date, I don't expect to be the only woman the person is dating. it's *dating* after all, we aren't in a relationship. And hopefully people are honest about that.

so I don't mind people telling me they are dating/screwing/whatever other people - this is honest and I appreciate honesty. I also feel less pressure knowing I'm not going to be expected to give them full monogamy and my life's attention after one meeting of 2 hours - and that's been asked of me A LOT.

But there is a way to do it and a way NOT to do it, eh?

for example, the way *not* to do it, is to tell me how awesome hot the other person they are shagging is, but how fucked up the dynamics are, that there is tons of drama around it (wow, stop, you are totally winning me over, here by talking about your other dates and how you can't draw boundaries with people) till I interrupt the soliloquy and announce my need for the bathroom.

When I come back, they are staring at the phone fondly. Then say "She wants to know how my date is going" Then promptly shows me a pic of her and says "isn't she hot?"

"Sure. I was super hot at ... 28? too. Weren't we all?"

She then sort of woke up from what she was doing, put the phone face down, and talked to me about her health problems.

We had talked for weeks and she was a friend of a mutual friend, so I knew she wasn't dangerous and she had driven a long way (3.5 hours) to have dinner. I had promised her the couch.

That is where she slept.

You know... tell me you don't promise monogamy in the beginning, or that you are dating others, or that you don't do monogamy ever, even. But ffs, have some fucking manners: if you are out on a date with me, you are out on a date with *ME*.

Bullet dodged, anyway.

one of the many past reasons I don't "date" anymore!

JDeere · 06-13-2018, 06:41 PM

Ask about financial status!

nycfem · 06-13-2018, 09:03 PM

"My therapist gave me an assignment to go on 50 dates, and you're #36." This actually WAS said to me on a date back in the day.

Chad · 06-13-2018, 09:09 PM

"Do you mind if my 18 year old daughter joins us" true...and she did.

I decided that one date was enough.

Abigail Crabby · 06-14-2018, 03:28 AM

What's your financial status.....

06-13-2018, 09:09 PM	#4
Chad Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 6,164 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,746 Thanked 20,313 Times in 5,677 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Not on a date "Do you mind if my 18 year old daughter joins us" true...and she did. I decided that one date was enough.

06-14-2018, 03:28 AM	#5
Abigail Crabby Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Princess Relationship Status: Single, but sociable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mount Airy, NC Posts: 4,226 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,554 Thanked 9,668 Times in 2,484 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	What's your financial status..... __________________ Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. Marcel Proust Turns whatever happens to you into a positive...

06-09-2018, 03:38 PM	#1
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,710 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	When I date, I don't expect to be the only woman the person is dating. it's dating after all, we aren't in a relationship. And hopefully people are honest about that. so I don't mind people telling me they are dating/screwing/whatever other people - this is honest and I appreciate honesty. I also feel less pressure knowing I'm not going to be expected to give them full monogamy and my life's attention after one meeting of 2 hours - and that's been asked of me A LOT. But there is a way to do it and a way NOT to do it, eh? for example, the way not to do it, is to tell me how awesome hot the other person they are shagging is, but how fucked up the dynamics are, that there is tons of drama around it (wow, stop, you are totally winning me over, here by talking about your other dates and how you can't draw boundaries with people) till I interrupt the soliloquy and announce my need for the bathroom. When I come back, they are staring at the phone fondly. Then say "She wants to know how my date is going" Then promptly shows me a pic of her and says "isn't she hot?" "Sure. I was super hot at ... 28? too. Weren't we all?" She then sort of woke up from what she was doing, put the phone face down, and talked to me about her health problems. We had talked for weeks and she was a friend of a mutual friend, so I knew she wasn't dangerous and she had driven a long way (3.5 hours) to have dinner. I had promised her the couch. That is where she slept. You know... tell me you don't promise monogamy in the beginning, or that you are dating others, or that you don't do monogamy ever, even. But ffs, have some fucking manners: if you are out on a date with me, you are out on a date with ME. Bullet dodged, anyway. one of the many past reasons I don't "date" anymore!

06-13-2018, 06:41 PM	#2
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,835 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	Ask about financial status!

06-13-2018, 09:03 PM	#3
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,793 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,987 Thanked 21,452 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	"My therapist gave me an assignment to go on 50 dates, and you're #36." This actually WAS said to me on a date back in the day. __________________ *** How do I... ?** Check out the Members Helping Members thread: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...embers+Helping