The Older LGBTIQ Crush Thread - Post Age 40

[Sweet Bliss]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

You have a point! Actually, my OP began with these sentiments in some ways. I am enjoying seeing older crushees all around we, but, are we (including me), still going for celebs?

In thinking about this, I think it is hard to post about real crushes that are about Planet people... it is for me other than members that are really friends or that I have good time reading what they have to say. Also, I know I think a lot about even using the word crush about femmes here I know are coupled. Some, not so much, because I actually know them and their partners and they know I have good boundaries. Sometimes its just hard.

I was thinking today about my real-time crushes of people around me that are not even queer, but who I admire and also might think are attractive. Those are kinda crushes. And I have been thinking about femmes here that a crush is again, about the content of what they post, or bring to the site. I have been touched by many people here.

I also started the thread because the other one seemed to have the perfect bodied, young, celebrity types that other than on TV or films, we wouldn't even be thinking about.

Then there is the whole age issue. I know that I feel that being older often feels that I am less sexy than, not as desirable as the younger butches. I'm sure older femmes feel the same way. Yet, as an older person, I know that the exterior is simply not the most important thing to me as far as possible romantic feelings. Then there all of the life stage elements that need to fit for me. For example, I'm retired and just have more leisure time than many younger people. I want to enjoy the freedom I have earned, so my dating is focused on femmes around my own age.

Hope this helps and addresses what you bring up. I would love a discussion about how we older folks view age within the community and especially relationships and dating. Believe me, I never thought I would be single at 59 and dating again. I've spent nearly 27 of my adult years (21 with one partner and 6 with another) with someone as a partner.

Yes... lets talk about that personal touch! A thread started by Heart on the old site about age and our cultural currency brought a whole lot of discussion out. As we age, what is really at the center of our crushes? Let’s do it! But, have fun, too!

Thank you AtLastHome, I do not, as a general rule indulge in crushes, and after 2 decades of fidelity and monogamy, have found myself back in the saddle of what appears to be total chaos. I am clueless about how one goes about meeting folks. Because i "look" str8, it seems I am invisible to butches.... which is why i took a chance and spoke to handsome Butch at HD...... he made it crystal clear, after giving me his card and saying "call me" that not only is he single, but sees me as funny, and ballsy, and it tickles him.....he spent 2 and a half hours personally escorting me throughout the store, showing and demonstrating and making valuable suggestions about my pet project..... and added at the end of my tour, "I'm working 80 hour weeks until the summer season is over, so don't have free time to have fun now, but I'm here almost everyday, come see me anytime."

It goes without saying that I will do just that..... am too busy myself right now to have much fun also.

It's just a shame that people that want that personal connection with someone who can carry a conversation, are so difficult to connect with..... I admit i have no idea how peeps connect online with any degree of success. Being a mature woman has baggage all on it's own. I personally struggle with image and health issues. Here in my town, peeps seem to be obsessed with working an excessive amount of time, and can not even commit to having a cup of coffee for 30 minutes. I would just at this point in my life like to find someone to sit with at a baseball game this summer. I don't want to complicate anyone's life, including my own, just looking for pleasant conversation, and an occasional meal we can share.

As a mature BBW I find it uncomfortable to consider an intimate relationship without establishing a long "get to know you" period. At this age and with my personal experiences it is difficult for me to trust on "sight". Looks have never been important to me, or how someone ids, I am looking at what you bring to the table, in terms of humor, compassion, passion for life, flexibility, willingness to learn and or change, and how our personal beliefs match up. Not looking for Mr. Perfect, am looking for Mr. Real..... surely there is one out there for each of us.

Physical attraction for me means, sound of your laughter, lots of laugh lines, crinkles around eyes, manners, respect, fidelity, monogamy, not how you look in a pair of jeans...... now not gonna lie and say "never" be interested in a hard body, cause i ADORE butch muscle, but at this stage is much harder to maintain, and I'm certainly not a hard body, am very soft.

A Butch with strong character is what is most attractive to me..... and of course always hopeful he is old school, and knows how to treat a Lady, and wants to be treated with respect, etc. also.

Didn't sleep well last night, more hormonal fun, so hope i'm makin' sense this AM