A friend of Dorothys- how important is community?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Converse

Gemme

I really enjoyed reading your post – it resonated with me. Thank you

I think one of the key differences that exists within this thread is that some are living in places where homophobia is so blatant that they are forced to be closeted or risk alienation and even physical harm as opposed to others where although they may not be in a location where there is a predominant “community” they can still find it if they wish and are able to live without compromise.

I think that is one of the areas that sites like this have helped. In locations where physical buildings don’t exist, the sites create a virtual community drop in centre, coffee shop, bar, etc, so that others within accessible proximity can be found. I think the success of these sites support the argument that community is important.

But I wonder if having these sites will over time, replace our need to relocate and cluster geographically. Do you think that the want to find like minded people who can provide “interaction with voices that come from OUTside” could be someday completely satisfied through on-line communities alone?

Thank you, Converse.

I agree. Many of our community members are unable to find and/or celebrate with like minded and bodied souls because of geographical locations and the prejudice that is rampant in many areas.

I think that many do, at this time, feed their need for interaction through the net and they are satisfied with that connection. That would not work for me, though. The problem I see with that is, in the process of expanding their horizons and reaching out to others via the internet, they are actually shrinking their personal social circle....their one to one interactions. I don't think that that is healthy, emotionally, mentally or psychologically.

Sure, there are some of us who do just fine with little to no interaction with people for a while, but over long periods of time I feel that could be detrimental. The swapping of internet communication for personal interaction is a soulless exchange and cannot leave a person untouched. Parts of their humanity would wither away over time, I feel.

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Thank you, Converse.

I agree. Many of our community members are unable to find and/or celebrate with like minded and bodied souls because of geographical locations and the prejudice that is rampant in many areas.

I think that many do, at this time, feed their need for interaction through the net and they are satisfied with that connection. That would not work for me, though. The problem I see with that is, in the process of expanding their horizons and reaching out to others via the internet, they are actually shrinking their personal social circle....their one to one interactions. I don't think that that is healthy, emotionally, mentally or psychologically.

Sure, there are some of us who do just fine with little to no interaction with people for a while, but over long periods of time I feel that could be detrimental. The swapping of internet communication for personal interaction is a soulless exchange and cannot leave a person untouched. Parts of their humanity would wither away over time, I feel.

I totally agree with this. It is hard when the only social interaction is with straight people. Not that they are "all that bad" lol. It's the feeling of connection and comradery that is missing. It is a struggle to keep grounded and it gets very lonely.

[Kobi]

I felt the need to be part of a community when I first came out. I immersed myself in everything lesbian.

It wore off tho. The more I know who I am and am comfortable with it, the less need I have to be part of a group.

Now, I just prefer to fit in and live peacefully.

[Converse]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I felt the need to be part of a community when I first came out. I immersed myself in everything lesbian.

It wore off tho. The more I know who I am and am comfortable with it, the less need I have to be part of a group.

Now, I just prefer to fit in and live peacefully.

Kobi,
This is something I understand, though I’m wondering whether you think that you would be more inclined to look for community if sites like this one didn’t exist, or do you believe that having any kind of interaction/connection with community is simply no longer important to you anymore?
Also are you living somewhere that doesn’t require you to compromise in order to “fit in”?

[Kobi]

Converse,

Interesting questions.

I never felt I had to compromise to fit in here. Yes it is a more accepting area then others might have to deal with. Once I was comfortable in my own skin, I just took partners with me to family and work functions because it seemed normal to me to do so.

I never had the need to be an "in your face queer" nor did I like associating with those who did. Being queer wasnt how I defined myself, it was and is just one part of who I am.

On line communities are nice to visit but they dont take the place of real time human interaction for me. It is more rewarding to be sitting across from someone talking then it is to type to someone.

It is more important to me to find people I can connect with in a meaningful way. Their gender or orientation doesnt seem to phase me anymore. The energy of women is more comfortable to me but I have met some intriguing people who arent lesbians or female.


[/I]

Originally Posted by Converse

Kobi,
This is something I understand, though I’m wondering whether you think that you would be more inclined to look for community if sites like this one didn’t exist, or do you believe that having any kind of interaction/connection with community is simply no longer important to you anymore?
Also are you living somewhere that doesn’t require you to compromise in order to “fit in”?