Passing - Is it a Privilege?

MsMerrick · 06-21-2010, 10:00 AM

Couple thoughts.. I would have thought that of course, its a totally different thing, the notion that passing as straight, by default as it were.. was a totally different hing, than passing for a Transperson..
But I regret to say, realize from reading some of these responses, that indeed, some people only recently figured that out.
At least now i understand better, the why of the vocal diatribes !
Good grief, teh difference is night and day...

Dylan · 06-21-2010, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsMerrick

Couple thoughts.. I would have thought that of course, its a totally different thing, the notion that passing as straight, by default as it were.. was a totally different hing, than passing for a Transperson..
But I regret to say, realize from reading some of these responses, that indeed, some people only recently figured that out.
At least now i understand better, the why of the vocal diatribes !
Good grief, teh difference is night and day...

Merrick,

I'm having a hard time understanding your post/points. Can you please clarify?

Thanks,
Dylan

firie · 06-21-2010, 12:26 PM

Just some thoughts--I apologize as they are not well formulated, as I've been having some epiphanies.

I don't think I can generalize "passing" to include the trans experience of passing and femme "passing" as an experience that is the same in any way. I also think that "passing" becomes and has to be an active choice, and for me, people misreading me as something other than queer is not my fault nor is it my responsibility, but with that, as others have discussed, comes with it, a certain amount of privilege. I am certainly not denying that I don't receive het or cis or gender privilege, however that is juxtaposed with the oppression I experience as a female, so I would say I experience privilege moreso than Dylan, even when he does pass as male. However, I must certainly caveat that I don't feel that "passing" all the sudden makes one free in this world, and I certainly don't feel that "passing" all the sudden brings inalienable rights. Dylan and I cannot get married and Dylan and I cannot pass in certain contexts, and despite all the privileges in one on one encounters, we are still in the same boat, in the sense that we are second class citizens because of our relationship and Dylan's parts. We are also queer, and most of our friends our queer, and most of what we do is queer, and so if there was ever some sort of raid on our favorite social spot (cops still raid queer bars in parts of Texas, and there have been some recent incidents, so we are not outside of that target, except it's not as likely to happen here in Austin, you never know), we'd go down like everyone else. Dylan's likely to get the shit beat out of him, and I am likely to find myself in that spot when I am with him. A gay guy was attacked downtown in Austin many months ago, and Dylan and I could just as likely have that fate (I would argue Dylan moreso) just because we are walking out of some rainbow flag waiving bar or club. We have the same fear of really drunken, coked up UT frat boys as any other queer in this town, along with any woman or person of color in this town. The whole city is on alert, quite frankly, when UT wins a football game and the fucknuts head downtown.

However, I will say that I do live in a more "progressive" city perhaps, so I don't feel the harassment in the way that other femmes might at work or in quiet social circles (all bar and club and downtown activity aside). And I don't really feel invisible, nor need or want to be invisible. This is actually a great privilege. I am also not responsible for how I am read, and if I am read wrong, then I go about educating on that but then I have the comfort to do that. I also work in a real social worky environment, and although I am not denying that discrimination does not occur, people keep it to themselves for the most part, or they are willing to talk through whatever it is that may be discriminatory.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't view my experience as a femme as "passing" but more so an experience of assumptions made by others about me, if that makes any sense.

I think, however, whether I identified or was viewed as straight or queer or whathaveyou, I would still have issue with jokes being made about anyone, and would do the proper professional thing and move up with a manager in addressing it. I think that is privileged because I am also in a work environment that wouldn't have that, at least not allowing it out of the mouths of any one in a public work space without some sort of repercussion.

I think passing is a tricky thing, and we can't cart blanche/lump sum/speak too generally about it as an experience. I also think variables impact this experience and compound things in a way individually that sometimes that experience might seem very privileged (but in a real double bind kind a way) and yet it might also be one of the most dangerous of places a person can be--say in the instance where someone passes and is discovered, and the result is the death of that person (hate crime is highest among trans people, in the GLBTQ community, let's not forget). And as I said above, I do not think you can lump everyone into a general experience of "passing" nor carte blanche say it is the same type of "privilege," as in some cases there may be no privilege to it, when in other cases there might very well be.

chefhmboyrd · 06-21-2010, 01:16 PM

first let's discuss the word priviledge......
Latin: privilegium - privus (private) leg,lex (law)

Priviledge is a right or immunity granted as a particular benefit, advantage, or favor

do i get special priviledge for looking like i do
most certainly
am i ashamed or sorry that i "pass" as a man
Hell No!
I am a man
i didn't go through what i have been through to march around and introduce myself as Andy the Transguy
screw that

People are gonna think what they want
and i don't give a rats ass!

I am not a very "political" person. but i do stand up for my LRGBLT.... (whatever) brothers and sisters.
i am out at work
they have seen the whole transition
i am out to my family
and they love me more than ever
i am out to my friends of all walks of life.

but.........
i never was a big flag wearing, rainbow brite, prostesting, badge wearing, card carrying member of the LRGBLT.

i intend to create change and promote unity quietly, whilst the world is sleeping.

Andrew, Jr. · 06-21-2010, 05:29 PM

I am happy and content with who and what I am. I think it is a shame that the medical community is still not dealing with the fluidity of sexuality and gender. Society is just ass backwards. We see Amanda Bynes, 24 yo, who is "retiring from acting", who is this person and really does anyone of us really care that she is retiring - no. Vanessa Carlton and Anna Paquin are both advocating their bisexuality to the public. I think it's a shame that they feel the need to address this. Is this a privilege? No. It is what it is.

Andrew, who didn't go thru what I did to march around to introduce myself as "Andy the transguy". This is so insulting. I understand the post, but this just doesn't sit well with me.

Rockinonahigh · 06-21-2010, 06:11 PM

Last summer I went to a trans suport meeting hear at the Philladelphia center,where ive been a suporter since it begain.The group is there for trans folks,ppl with trouble with gender expreson as well as cross dressers.ect.I have know most of these ladies and gentlemen on and off for a while.Dureing the meeting one of the girls sugested they have a beautician come to the next meeting to help with choseing makeup,dress styles and all.Then the person speaking turned to me and said ..we will get u a bubba coach.Folks I felt like I had been hit with a brick,no one said a word to the speaker who I have known for years and is a neighbor of mine.I just sat there like a dumb knot on a log with that same kind of look on my face hopeing she was kidding me,but she wasnt at all.It wasnt long that the meeting was over.Yes, I had picked her up and brought her to the meeting and was takeing her home.Not once did she say a word,nor have I herd from her sence.Yes ,t pissed me off big time,u bet it was hard for me not to say what was going thrue my mind wich was not nice for shure.
When ppl talk about privilege and passing I often wonder how we a a glbt community can say such things to other ppl,true we take a lot of crap from the straight world but we shouldnt have to deal with it in our own.We all know it happends ,one of these day I hope no matter who and how we represnt ourselves this dosent happen to someone else.Now dont think im digging up old bones hear cause all im doing is useing this as an example of how we shouldnt treat one another s its enogh to deal with the normal everyday bs of liveing in a world where we are put down,laughed at,stared at
ect.Respect is something we all should be given no mater how we id in the world...This is 2010 I hope at some point this happends...but im not holding mybreath.

Andrew, Jr. · 06-21-2010, 06:25 PM

I know many a drag queens. I seriously doubt that they would find comfort in this thread. I think they would be a bit upset to say the least. I don't understand why we as a community don't help each other instead of putting each other down in a hole? Maybe it's me, but lately I just get negative vibes from here. It doesn't feel like home. I think Jack and Medusa want this to be home. Home means love. That is what I think of when I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like. A huge mansion with a man cave and a lady's den. A giant pool, hot tub, and club house outback. Two or three Weber grills all around the pool. Lounge chairs everywhere. Chimneas everywhere. No neighbors to bitch and complain or call the po-po in. Woods surrounding this mansion. We would be celebrating each other - as we are. A home where everyone was welcome, and be as they are. No ifs ands or buts. Just love.

Andrew

AtLast · 06-21-2010, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

Last summer I went to a trans suport meeting hear at the Philladelphia center,where ive been a suporter since it begain.The group is there for trans folks,ppl with trouble with gender expreson as well as cross dressers.ect.I have know most of these ladies and gentlemen on and off for a while.Dureing the meeting one of the girls sugested they have a beautician come to the next meeting to help with choseing makeup,dress styles and all.Then the person speaking turned to me and said ..we will get u a bubba coach.Folks I felt like I had been hit with a brick,no one said a word to the speaker who I have known for years and is a neighbor of mine.I just sat there like a dumb knot on a log with that same kind of look on my face hopeing she was kidding me,but she wasnt at all.It wasnt long that the meeting was over.Yes, I had picked her up and brought her to the meeting and was takeing her home.Not once did she say a word,nor have I herd from her sence.Yes ,t pissed me off big time,u bet it was hard for me not to say what was going thrue my mind wich was not nice for shure.
When ppl talk about privilege and passing I often wonder how we a a glbt community can say such things to other ppl,true we take a lot of crap from the straight world but we shouldnt have to deal with it in our own.We all know it happends ,one of these day I hope no matter who and how we represnt ourselves this dosent happen to someone else.Now dont think im digging up old bones hear cause all im doing is useing this as an example of how we shouldnt treat one another s its enogh to deal with the normal everyday bs of liveing in a world where we are put down,laughed at,stared at
ect.Respect is something we all should be given no mater how we id in the world...This is 2010 I hope at some point this happends...but im not holding mybreath.

I don't blame you for feeling this way at all! And, yes, a good example of how very bigoted the GLBTIQ (I have to include everyone- as the larger umbrella community can be so damn upsetting!). Sometimes, I find no difference from straight society (the anti-gay, lesbian, trans, intergendered, et. al. portion of it).

This comes up so often on the site (and certainly on the old site), I honestly can't figure out WTF is wrong with it! Often, I think about members that have been around since the old site's inception and wonder how they have been able to stick around.

It's hard because we do represent a part of the overriding queer community that historically has been put-down, and just not welcome much at all and these websites give people some place to find each other and interact. Yet, I have felt the slaps in the face like this as a butch. Concerning trans members, I have heard that things like B-F social events were not open to them at one time (blatantly not open!)). Then there is the hierarchy of what is femme!

ARGH!!

I'm sorry this happened to you, it was a deep insult to your integrity.

Like I said before (as have others), when will we walk together and stop the hate, stereotypes and oppression of each and every identification with our community? Once a year during Pride celebrations just isn’t cutting it!

Thinking that Butch Voices doing more than one conference in different cities may help. And the femme conferences as well as events like the ReUnion. Things are very different when we are able to actually be together in person…. Very different! But, how many of us can financially get to some of these yearly (a big reason I am happy to see BV doing multi-events)?

AtLast · 06-21-2010, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chefhmboyrd

first let's discuss the word priviledge......
Latin: privilegium - privus (private) leg,lex (law)

Priviledge is a right or immunity granted as a particular benefit, advantage, or favor

do i get special priviledge for looking like i do
most certainly
am i ashamed or sorry that i "pass" as a man
Hell No!
I am a man
i didn't go through what i have been through to march around and introduce myself as Andy the Transguy
screw that

People are gonna think what they want
and i don't give a rats ass!

I am not a very "political" person. but i do stand up for my LRGBLT.... (whatever) brothers and sisters.
i am out at work
they have seen the whole transition
i am out to my family
and they love me more than ever
i am out to my friends of all walks of life.

but.........
i never was a big flag wearing, rainbow brite, prostesting, badge wearing, card carrying member of the LRGBLT.

i intend to create change and promote unity quietly, whilst the world is sleeping.

Somehow, I just can't wrap my head around all of the people from every part of the LGBTIQ community sleeping as we are all have been a part of the social, medical, mental health, political and legal processes that paved the way for you and others to go through transitioning. And have been for many years. It didn't happen over night and by transpeople only. The trans movement is an offshoot of the Second Wave of feminism. Look it up!

I find your post not only narcissistic, rude, arrogant and ignorant, it is an affront to this website and the B-F community. And to the hundreds of thousands of people from every walk of life with progressive politics that have donated time and money to organizations that serve and protect you! And I don't give a rats ass what you think of this while you are attending support groups needed for transpeople funded exclusively and in part by public funds. And, don’t even go to paying for elective surgeries yourself. Many people do this all of the time for various reasons. You do not have the only wallet that has been hit. And frankly, as an individual, I have no problem with my tax dollars going for trans surgeries or for mental health services. I'd like to see all of these services covered just like any other medical procedure by insurance or socially funded medical programs.

What the hell island do you think you live on?

Dylan · 06-21-2010, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Somehow, I just can't wrap my head around all of the people from every part of the LGBTIQ community sleeping as we are all have been a part of the social, medical, mental health, political and legal processes that paved the way for you and others to go through transitioning. And have been for many years. It didn't happen over night and by transpeople only. The trans movement is an offshoot of the Second Wave of feminism. Look it up!

I find your post not only narcissistic, rude, arrogant and ignorant, it is an affront to this website and the B-F community. And to the hundreds of thousands of people from every walk of life with progressive politics that have donated time and money to organizations that serve and protect you! And I don't give a rats ass what you think of this while you are attending support groups needed for transpeople funded exclusively and in part by public funds. And, don’t even go to paying for elective surgeries yourself. Many people do this all of the time for various reasons. You do not have the only wallet that has been hit. And frankly, as an individual, I have no problem with my tax dollars going for trans surgeries or for mental health services. I'd like to see all of these services covered just like any other medical procedure by insurance or socially funded medical programs.

What the hell island do you think you live on?

Why do you find chef's post an affront to the LGBTQ community and this site?

Chef says very plainly that he has stood up for the GLBTQ community. I don't understand why not wanting to announce One's Self as a transguy at every meeting is an affront to others.

Also, the trans movement started well before Second Wave feminism started.

I also find it quite disturbing that you are trying to 'guilt' someone with your use of 'public funding'. People don't OWE allies a big hug...anymore than you owe straight allies a big hug.

So Had It,
Dylan

Soon · 06-21-2010, 07:55 PM

AtLastHome,

I, too, have a real problem with your post to Chef. Please explain, especially, these statements:

..."I find your post not only narcissistic, rude, arrogant and ignorant, it is an affront to this website and the B-F community".... Look it up!.....What the hell island do you think you live on?" / endquote

Similar to Dylan request, what is it exactly that has roused such inflammatory feelings towards Chef's post?

You have--on many occasions--purported yourself to be a trans ally and, yet, I question your previous statements when I read this post tonight.

AtLast · 06-21-2010, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dylan

Why do you find chef's post an affront to the LGBTQ community and this site?

Chef says very plainly that he has stood up for the GLBTQ community. I don't understand why not wanting to announce One's Self as a transguy at every meeting is an affront to others.

Also, the trans movement started well before Second Wave feminism started.

I also find it quite disturbing that you are trying to 'guilt' someone with your use of 'public funding'. People don't OWE allies a big hug...anymore than you owe straight allies a big hug.

So Had It,
Dylan

Think it speaks for itself and is a very good example of male priviledge.... No, Dylan, the Trans movement as a social movement stems directly from the Second Wave. Questioning the gender binary is a feminist concept. And I am so angry, I really am not going to get into this discussion. I said what I felt and it stands. It takes a hell of a lot to piss me off like this.... A LOT!

There are a hell of a lot of people behind transpeople and have done a hell of a lot to fight transphobia. And that post kicks shit in the eyes of trans supporters as well as relatives of trans or intergendered people. Afterall, transpeople and intergendered are the children, parents, cousins, spouses, etc. of every one of us, our families just like the rest of the LGBTIQ umbrella. Look at the stats. We are all affected by gender identification. It is not just the domain of the transgendered. None of us would have the kinds of changes that do in fact, make our lives better today without political and social movements and people that give a damn about human and civil rights working hard to effect change. You know, those that the poster doesn't give a rat's ass about! The one's he might very well want to thank. The one's that are still engaged in stopping hate crimes, for example and advocate for service for transgendered people. You don't have to be trans to be involved with trans politics.

Strappie · 06-21-2010, 07:34 PM

OK I'm not trying to derail anything here.. But I don't feel as though I am anymore privelaged then the next person...

My ID is who I am... like it or not I am a Female ID'd Butch. Does that get me more privileges, NO and do I feel like I'm not privileged, NO?

So for me.. I'm not privileged nor am I lacking privileges.

Just my opinion on me!!

06-21-2010, 01:16 PM	#4
chefhmboyrd Senior Member How Do You Identify?: man Preferred Pronoun?: beef Relationship Status: Uncle Daddy Snap Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: nashvegas Posts: 1,607 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,411 Thanked 2,846 Times in 898 Posts Rep Power: 14271905	passing a priviledge????????? first let's discuss the word priviledge...... Latin: privilegium - privus (private) leg,lex (law) Priviledge is a right or immunity granted as a particular benefit, advantage, or favor do i get special priviledge for looking like i do most certainly am i ashamed or sorry that i "pass" as a man Hell No! I am a man i didn't go through what i have been through to march around and introduce myself as Andy the Transguy screw that People are gonna think what they want and i don't give a rats ass! I am not a very "political" person. but i do stand up for my LRGBLT.... (whatever) brothers and sisters. i am out at work they have seen the whole transition i am out to my family and they love me more than ever i am out to my friends of all walks of life. but......... i never was a big flag wearing, rainbow brite, prostesting, badge wearing, card carrying member of the LRGBLT. i intend to create change and promote unity quietly, whilst the world is sleeping. __________________ what's a cowboy got to do to get a drink around here? Last edited by chefhmboyrd; 06-21-2010 at 01:17 PM. Reason: fat fingers

06-21-2010, 10:00 AM	#1
MsMerrick Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Feminist Femme.... Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single and Singular.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New York City.... Posts: 277 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 855 Thanked 646 Times in 166 Posts Rep Power: 4638166	Couple thoughts.. I would have thought that of course, its a totally different thing, the notion that passing as straight, by default as it were.. was a totally different hing, than passing for a Transperson.. But I regret to say, realize from reading some of these responses, that indeed, some people only recently figured that out. At least now i understand better, the why of the vocal diatribes ! Good grief, teh difference is night and day...

06-21-2010, 12:26 PM	#3
firie Timed Out How Do You Identify?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: . Posts: 204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 191 Thanked 469 Times in 128 Posts Rep Power: 0	Just some thoughts--I apologize as they are not well formulated, as I've been having some epiphanies. I don't think I can generalize "passing" to include the trans experience of passing and femme "passing" as an experience that is the same in any way. I also think that "passing" becomes and has to be an active choice, and for me, people misreading me as something other than queer is not my fault nor is it my responsibility, but with that, as others have discussed, comes with it, a certain amount of privilege. I am certainly not denying that I don't receive het or cis or gender privilege, however that is juxtaposed with the oppression I experience as a female, so I would say I experience privilege moreso than Dylan, even when he does pass as male. However, I must certainly caveat that I don't feel that "passing" all the sudden makes one free in this world, and I certainly don't feel that "passing" all the sudden brings inalienable rights. Dylan and I cannot get married and Dylan and I cannot pass in certain contexts, and despite all the privileges in one on one encounters, we are still in the same boat, in the sense that we are second class citizens because of our relationship and Dylan's parts. We are also queer, and most of our friends our queer, and most of what we do is queer, and so if there was ever some sort of raid on our favorite social spot (cops still raid queer bars in parts of Texas, and there have been some recent incidents, so we are not outside of that target, except it's not as likely to happen here in Austin, you never know), we'd go down like everyone else. Dylan's likely to get the shit beat out of him, and I am likely to find myself in that spot when I am with him. A gay guy was attacked downtown in Austin many months ago, and Dylan and I could just as likely have that fate (I would argue Dylan moreso) just because we are walking out of some rainbow flag waiving bar or club. We have the same fear of really drunken, coked up UT frat boys as any other queer in this town, along with any woman or person of color in this town. The whole city is on alert, quite frankly, when UT wins a football game and the fucknuts head downtown. However, I will say that I do live in a more "progressive" city perhaps, so I don't feel the harassment in the way that other femmes might at work or in quiet social circles (all bar and club and downtown activity aside). And I don't really feel invisible, nor need or want to be invisible. This is actually a great privilege. I am also not responsible for how I am read, and if I am read wrong, then I go about educating on that but then I have the comfort to do that. I also work in a real social worky environment, and although I am not denying that discrimination does not occur, people keep it to themselves for the most part, or they are willing to talk through whatever it is that may be discriminatory. I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't view my experience as a femme as "passing" but more so an experience of assumptions made by others about me, if that makes any sense. I think, however, whether I identified or was viewed as straight or queer or whathaveyou, I would still have issue with jokes being made about anyone, and would do the proper professional thing and move up with a manager in addressing it. I think that is privileged because I am also in a work environment that wouldn't have that, at least not allowing it out of the mouths of any one in a public work space without some sort of repercussion. I think passing is a tricky thing, and we can't cart blanche/lump sum/speak too generally about it as an experience. I also think variables impact this experience and compound things in a way individually that sometimes that experience might seem very privileged (but in a real double bind kind a way) and yet it might also be one of the most dangerous of places a person can be--say in the instance where someone passes and is discovered, and the result is the death of that person (hate crime is highest among trans people, in the GLBTQ community, let's not forget). And as I said above, I do not think you can lump everyone into a general experience of "passing" nor carte blanche say it is the same type of "privilege," as in some cases there may be no privilege to it, when in other cases there might very well be.

06-21-2010, 05:29 PM	#5
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I am happy and content with who and what I am. I think it is a shame that the medical community is still not dealing with the fluidity of sexuality and gender. Society is just ass backwards. We see Amanda Bynes, 24 yo, who is "retiring from acting", who is this person and really does anyone of us really care that she is retiring - no. Vanessa Carlton and Anna Paquin are both advocating their bisexuality to the public. I think it's a shame that they feel the need to address this. Is this a privilege? No. It is what it is. Andrew, who didn't go thru what I did to march around to introduce myself as "Andy the transguy". This is so insulting. I understand the post, but this just doesn't sit well with me.

06-21-2010, 06:11 PM	#6
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Last summer I went to a trans suport meeting hear at the Philladelphia center,where ive been a suporter since it begain.The group is there for trans folks,ppl with trouble with gender expreson as well as cross dressers.ect.I have know most of these ladies and gentlemen on and off for a while.Dureing the meeting one of the girls sugested they have a beautician come to the next meeting to help with choseing makeup,dress styles and all.Then the person speaking turned to me and said ..we will get u a bubba coach.Folks I felt like I had been hit with a brick,no one said a word to the speaker who I have known for years and is a neighbor of mine.I just sat there like a dumb knot on a log with that same kind of look on my face hopeing she was kidding me,but she wasnt at all.It wasnt long that the meeting was over.Yes, I had picked her up and brought her to the meeting and was takeing her home.Not once did she say a word,nor have I herd from her sence.Yes ,t pissed me off big time,u bet it was hard for me not to say what was going thrue my mind wich was not nice for shure. When ppl talk about privilege and passing I often wonder how we a a glbt community can say such things to other ppl,true we take a lot of crap from the straight world but we shouldnt have to deal with it in our own.We all know it happends ,one of these day I hope no matter who and how we represnt ourselves this dosent happen to someone else.Now dont think im digging up old bones hear cause all im doing is useing this as an example of how we shouldnt treat one another s its enogh to deal with the normal everyday bs of liveing in a world where we are put down,laughed at,stared at ect.Respect is something we all should be given no mater how we id in the world...This is 2010 I hope at some point this happends...but im not holding mybreath.

06-21-2010, 06:25 PM	#7
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I know many a drag queens. I seriously doubt that they would find comfort in this thread. I think they would be a bit upset to say the least. I don't understand why we as a community don't help each other instead of putting each other down in a hole? Maybe it's me, but lately I just get negative vibes from here. It doesn't feel like home. I think Jack and Medusa want this to be home. Home means love. That is what I think of when I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like. A huge mansion with a man cave and a lady's den. A giant pool, hot tub, and club house outback. Two or three Weber grills all around the pool. Lounge chairs everywhere. Chimneas everywhere. No neighbors to bitch and complain or call the po-po in. Woods surrounding this mansion. We would be celebrating each other - as we are. A home where everyone was welcome, and be as they are. No ifs ands or buts. Just love. Andrew

06-21-2010, 07:55 PM	#11
Soon Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: attached Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 6,896 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,046 Thanked 13,093 Times in 3,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	AtLastHome, I, too, have a real problem with your post to Chef. Please explain, especially, these statements: ..."I find your post not only narcissistic, rude, arrogant and ignorant, it is an affront to this website and the B-F community".... Look it up!.....What the hell island do you think you live on?" / endquote Similar to Dylan request, what is it exactly that has roused such inflammatory feelings towards Chef's post? You have--on many occasions--purported yourself to be a trans ally and, yet, I question your previous statements when I read this post tonight.

06-21-2010, 07:34 PM	#13
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,945 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	OK I'm not trying to derail anything here.. But I don't feel as though I am anymore privelaged then the next person... My ID is who I am... like it or not I am a Female ID'd Butch. Does that get me more privileges, NO and do I feel like I'm not privileged, NO? So for me.. I'm not privileged nor am I lacking privileges. Just my opinion on me!!