The Mythical *Pass* for Differently-Abled People

[SuperFemme]

Christie I am sorry that this is your perception of what this thread is about.

While I can only speak in absolutes about my own different abilities I am not unable to advocate for all different abilities.

Also, please understand that a bad knee is not a disability. Once you lose all use of that knee, then you cross over into the realm of differently abled.

[Corkey]

I am differently abled and am on meds that can make a difference in what I type. Be it rational to some or just to me, it will seem confusing to others. Meds will do that, so the mythical pass, do I receive it...no because it's still up to me to follow the tos.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Corkey

I am differently abled and am on meds that can make a difference in what I type. Be it rational to some or just to me, it will seem confusing to others. Meds will do that, so the mythical pass, do I receive it...no because it's still up to me to follow the tos.

BINGO. Thanks Corkey.

[christie]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Christie I am sorry that this is your perception of what this thread is about.

While I can only speak in absolutes about my own different abilities I am not unable to advocate for all different abilities.

Also, please understand that a bad knee is not a disability. Once you lose all use of that knee, then you cross over into the realm of differently abled.

Adele - Your response just further confuses me. I'm really trying to understand what the thread intent is at this point because it seems that you have shifted gears, by your very words.

Further, it concerns me that you state you can't advocate for all disabilities but yet, I would see the DA ambassador role as just that - an advocate for all DA persons.

Finally, "a bad knee" as you stated, is certainly not the same as some of the debilitating physical disabilities our community members endure. However, if I fall down the steps with aforementioned bad knee and become a paraplegic, I still don't see how that would impact my accountability for my words and how I chose to interact in an online setting - which, again, was what you stated you wanted this thread to be about.

This feels like we have a difference of opinion and I will respect that they differ.

I would like to hear from you, in your capacity as DA ambassador, how we as a community can further ensure that all our DA persons are treated equally so that the nonDA's don't feel as if bfp and its members give the pass.

[Nina]

"Further, it concerns me that you state you can't advocate for all disabilities but yet, I would see the DA ambassador role as just that - an advocate for all DA persons."

*I* (Nina) may well be misreading or misunderstanding the above..what SF said is :

"I am not unable to advocate for all different abilities."

so...what she said is that while she may not have the Personal experience of the whole range of DAs, she can, indeed, advocate for for a/the variety of different abilities....

I (Nina) have other things I'm thinking on, but my communication skills are not as accurate as I intend these days, so for now I will leave my fingers at rest...

Nina

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Nina

"Further, it concerns me that you state you can't advocate for all disabilities but yet, I would see the DA ambassador role as just that - an advocate for all DA persons."

*I* (Nina) may well be misreading or misunderstanding the above..what SF said is :

"I am not unable to advocate for all different abilities."

so...what she said is that while she may not have the Personal experience of the whole range of DAs, she can, indeed, advocate for for a/the variety of different abilities....

I (Nina) have other things I'm thinking on, but my communication skills are not as accurate as I intend these days, so for now I will leave my fingers at rest...

Nina

You read my post completely right.
Thank you for that.

I thought I had been clear.

[friskyfemme]

Good Day to all here...
I have a diagnosis of Dyslexia and ADD. I consider my different wiring as a challenge not a disability. However my brother who is living with a severe TBI frontal lobe damage as
more than differently abled. He is nonverbal, highly behavioral, with severe cognitive disability. I do not expect he be given a 'pass' I expect that persons that do his direct care are capable of helping him interpret his world so his reaction to stimulas like sudden noises, touches, transitions, bathing, eating, drinking can be within calm responses. He isn't capable of explaining his response. I doubt that he understands why he responds to things the way he does. Sometimes more extreme than other times. The fact that you here can relay to others the particulars of your disability is great for you.

Be patient and loving in your exchange. Know that those who most need advocation can not ask for it themselves.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by friskyfemme

Good Day to all here...
I have a diagnosis of Dyslexia and ADD. I consider my different wiring as a challenge not a disability. However my brother who is living with a severe TBI frontal lobe damage as
more than differently abled. He is nonverbal, highly behavioral, with severe cognitive disability. I do not expect he be given a 'pass' I expect that persons that do his direct care are capable of helping him interpret his world so his reaction to stimulas like sudden noises, touches, transitions, bathing, eating, drinking can be within calm responses. He isn't capable of explaining his response. I doubt that he understands why he responds to things the way he does. Sometimes more extreme than other times. The fact that you here can relay to others the particulars of your disability is great for you.

Be patient and loving in your exchange. Know that those who most need advocation can not ask for it themselves.

I appreciate what you are saying here. My late sister had paranoid schizophenia and even when taking medications, had very delusional thinking. Her capacity was very diminished at times and she just was unable to understand many social ques. She also was very smart, kind, and lived life aware of the fact that her potential could never be achieved due to her mental illness. When she died, my tears were mixed because I knew there was so much she missed due to her illness even though I just plain loved her like she was. Her sensibilities compared to mine were just not the same. Never could be.

You are so right on about some just not being able to advocate nor ask for this, themselves.

I think the Planet does an excellent job in being sensitive to DA issues (Medusa's post is very clear). Adele does a great service here, I believe. And no, I do not know her in real-time. Nothing is ever perfect, but it sure seems like the admin gives DA a serious look and offers support and understanding while being responsible for the entire site. And hey, Dusa has had to box my stubborn ears and I deserved it. Yes, I have challenges, my sister had a very different set of variables.

[Apocalipstic]

I have thought about this a lot.

First let me say that I think it is incredible that this website even wants to have a DA ambassador and that anyone wants to take that on.

What I see, kind of jumping off what Medusa said is sometimes different dissabilities intersect in a negative and dangerous way. Say someone with no filters and an anger disorder spouts off something that is very detrimental for someone with PTSD.

Volatile situation.

Whose disoder is worse or trumps the other?

Or is it ok for the person with anger opportunities to be able to insult other members at all? disorder or no?

I think the TOS has to be the wall at which it stops. Can you follow the rules after being given time outs and suggested coping mechanisms you refuse to take advantage of. Is your behavior hurtful and detrimental to other members?

Do my rights stop where someone else's begin?

[christie]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

You read my post completely right.
Thank you for that.

I thought I had been clear.

SF - You were clear. My apologies. I did mis-read your post - and thats why it bothered me! lol

That is a prime example of how the fallout issues of a physical disability can impact our posting. Today is fibro flare. Hence, my misreading of your post - fibro fog.

My apologies.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by christie0918

SF - You were clear. My apologies. I did mis-read your post - and thats why it bothered me! lol

That is a prime example of how the fallout issues of a physical disability can impact our posting. Today is fibro flare. Hence, my misreading of your post - fibro fog.

My apologies.

No biggie. If anyone understands misreading a post, it's me.

Fibro flares are awful, do take care to be gentle with yourself.

[Medusa]

I'd like to make a few comments here:

* Adele is very, very smart but is not trained as a social worker, therapist, or disability liaison. She uses her lived experience as a DA person to thoughtfully filter the needs of DA people on this site up to us and to provide guidance on these kinds of discussions and to answer questions of newbie DA folks. She isn't in a position of authority, she is here because I asked her to help keep watch for places that we could improve the experiences of DA folks on this site, to answer questions, and to check our processes for accessibility.
I think she does an excellent job.

* The experiences of DA people on this site is important to me, as well as the experiences of people who are not DA. That means that we need a healthy symbiosis for people of all levels of ability to interact here. The TOS is the structure for that and provides a standard code of conduct for everyone to follow.

* I think we do a pretty good job on this site of reaching out to one another when there is a need. Sure, there's room for improvement but I do see many people willing to give time and energy to help people who need it.

* While I am completely comfortable with people offering help and answering questions on a member to member basis, I dont see a time when the site will institute an administrative structure that will take on the responsibility of providing therapeutic assistance to DA people. It would put us in a really bad legal position and open us up to alllll kinds of potential lawsuits.

I see the position of Ability Ambassador as a member-supported function that provides guidance, limited assistance, and a higher level of visibility for DA folks here. That position is not and can't be responsible for the experiences of the many DA folks here. It simply isn't possible or responsible. I think that providing a clear and concise TOS, being available as Admins and Mods, and checking our processes for holes and marginalizing verbiage can go a long way. The other parts, we can do as a membership. The main part, in my mind, must come from a person's willingness to follow the TOS.
What I mean by this is that I see a huge difference in people who are having difficulty understanding things and making mistakes but who generally try to interact in healthy ways, and people who are differently abled but who also interact in intentionally hateful, rude, or shit-stirring ways. Some things are about the difference in ability and some things are about a person being unwilling to follow the rules because they think they are the only person who matters.

I will also say that I do see how people who have *physical* disabilities can have a harder time interacting on this site.
For example: Member "A" has both feet amputated due to Diabetes and is on an incredible amount of pain meds. Posting will on pain meds, Member "A" makes statements or interacts in ways that are against the TOS, outside of the range of how they normally behave, etc.

Another example: We recently had someone who is on partial disability for carpal tunnel ask us to provide voice-to-type software for them to be able to participate here.

Another example: Users who are sight-impaired and who use a voice service to transcribe the words that are typed for them might not be able to participate in chat because the voice service cant transcribe the conversation as fast as it happens, thus the sight-impaired member is constantly behind on the conversation and cant participate with other members on the same level.

Im pretty thankful that this conversation exists. I am learning a lot.