Gay Marriage until...a break up. Why Gays need to walk the walk.

[imperfect_cupcake]

sorry I'm a bit confused. Of course if you get married you have to go through the same legal ritual of divorce if you end it. It's a legal contract involving notice to the gov't about your status. If that should change, you have to declare it. like if you job changes. or you move and you still wish to vote.

So I'm kinda lost. it's all exactly the same. You have to undo what was done. after falling out. which makes things hellish.

I can't imagine the kind of hoop jumping inki and I have been doing for a year through four different countries to get it *undone* but with extremely sore feelings and deep feelings of hurt and rejection at the same time, rather than a sense of joy and certainty. dear god that sounds like hell on earth to me.

I hope, if it ever happens I can be as civil as my parents were. They screwed up. But they didn't fight over the kids, they never fought in front of us, they shared one lawyer between them to save costs.

and there was a *lot* of serious wounding between the two of them. Both felt completely betrayed, ignored, disliked and belittled.

But they got over it and are good friends now.

I think that shows a different kind of commitment, especially as they did it initially (trying to get along through a divorce) because of the kids. My hat off to them.

[Soon]

According to the Human Rights Campaign's VP Fred Sainz, the real reason for NOM's national Hate Tour is to draw out harassing counter-protesters so that those incidents can be using in court to thwart donor disclosure laws. Because SEE, we really DO get attacked by violent homofascists!

Via press release from the HRC:

"The bus tour is a total sham, plain and simple," said Fred Sainz, HRC's vice president of communications. "NOM's highly-touted bus tour is less about so-called 'traditional marriage' and more about creating an elaborate and cynical stunt. NOM rolled out a summer of nationwide events in order to draw lawful protesters, all so that NOM and its allies can pepper ongoing lawsuits challenging public disclosure laws with made-up stories of harassment. This unprecedented victimization crusade is the lowest denominator of political activism, and it won't fly."

In events in seven states, NOM has routinely played to crowds reportedly as small as two dozen people including NOM staff members. The organization's public statements on the bus tour have barely mentioned the content of the programs or the substance of its anti-LGBT message, instead focusing attention on much larger counter-protests that NOM has attacked as intimidation and harassment. NOM issued a press release last Friday saying that LGBT supporters have "approached and threatened children," engaged in "bullying tactics" and committed acts of harassment. However, NOM's uncorroborated claims belie legitimate local media reports demonstrating that pro-equality supporters, which have vastly outnumbered NOM's faithful, have been civil. NOM has yet to document any illegal activity or actual harassment, despite the presence of law enforcement at all the events.

NOM's efforts to trump up false claims of harassment are part of a radical nationwide plan to evade long-established public disclosure laws and to hide their political activities from legitimate scrutiny and accountability. In doing so, NOM has falsely alleged that their donors have been harassed and intimidated across the country to justify why it shouldn't have to play by the same rules as everyone else. These tactics have prompted a state ethics investigation in Maine and recent court defeats across the country.


I think Fred Sainz has nailed it.

[Soon]

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

According to the Human Rights Campaign's VP Fred Sainz, the real reason for NOM's national Hate Tour is to draw out harassing counter-protesters so that those incidents can be using in court to thwart donor disclosure laws. Because SEE, we really DO get attacked by violent homofascists!

Via press release from the HRC:

"The bus tour is a total sham, plain and simple," said Fred Sainz, HRC's vice president of communications. "NOM's highly-touted bus tour is less about so-called 'traditional marriage' and more about creating an elaborate and cynical stunt. NOM rolled out a summer of nationwide events in order to draw lawful protesters, all so that NOM and its allies can pepper ongoing lawsuits challenging public disclosure laws with made-up stories of harassment. This unprecedented victimization crusade is the lowest denominator of political activism, and it won't fly."

In events in seven states, NOM has routinely played to crowds reportedly as small as two dozen people including NOM staff members. The organization's public statements on the bus tour have barely mentioned the content of the programs or the substance of its anti-LGBT message, instead focusing attention on much larger counter-protests that NOM has attacked as intimidation and harassment. NOM issued a press release last Friday saying that LGBT supporters have "approached and threatened children," engaged in "bullying tactics" and committed acts of harassment. However, NOM's uncorroborated claims belie legitimate local media reports demonstrating that pro-equality supporters, which have vastly outnumbered NOM's faithful, have been civil. NOM has yet to document any illegal activity or actual harassment, despite the presence of law enforcement at all the events.

NOM's efforts to trump up false claims of harassment are part of a radical nationwide plan to evade long-established public disclosure laws and to hide their political activities from legitimate scrutiny and accountability. In doing so, NOM has falsely alleged that their donors have been harassed and intimidated across the country to justify why it shouldn't have to play by the same rules as everyone else. These tactics have prompted a state ethics investigation in Maine and recent court defeats across the country.


I think Fred Sainz has nailed it.

[SuperFemme]

I think the HRC has a very good point. Dear God that is gross.

[Apocalipstic]

Absolutely.

I don't get how peace and love and family values includes hitting someone in the stomach. Unbelievable!

on another note...

I think it is important that we live our lives with dignity, which includes break ups as well as divorces. Leaving someone with nothing in a break up is bad form, no matter what you think they did. Bad Karma!

[Soon]

Saint Paul, Minnesota Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Wednesday, July 28, 2010 from 12:00pm - 1:00pm Minnesota State Capitol St. Paul, MN 55155

Saint Cloud, Minnesota

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Thursday, July 29, 2010 from 12:00pm - 1:00pm Granite City Baptist Church 1425 Country Road 134 St. Cloud, MN 56303

Rochester, Minnesota

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Friday, July 30, 2010 from 12:00pm - 1:00pm New Life Worship Center 6301 34th Ave. NW Rochester, MN 55901

Des Moines, Iowa

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Sunday, August 1, 2010 from 2:00pm - 3:00pm State Capitol Des Moines, IA 50319

Sioux City, Iowa

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Tuesday, August 3, 2010 from 12:00pm - 1:00pm Sioux City, IA (Location TBD)

St. Louis, Missouri

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Thursday, August 5, 2010 from 12:00pm - 1:00pm St. Louis, MO (Location TBD) Atlanta, Georgia

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Saturday, August 7, 2010 from 2:00pm - 3:00pm State Capitol (Washington Street side) Atlanta, GA 30334

Tampa, Florida

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Sunday, August 8, 2010 from 2:00pm - 3:00pm Tampa, FL (Location TBD)

Raleigh, North Carolina

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Tuesday, August 10, 2010 from 12:00pm - 1:00pm State Capitol, South Side Raleigh, NC 27601

Charleston, West Virginia

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Wednesday, August 11, 2010 from 12:00pm - 1:00pm State Capitol, Kanawha Blvd. Steps Charleston, WV 25305

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Friday, August 13, 2010 from 12:00pm - 1:00pm State Capitol N. Third and State Streets Harrisburg, PA 17120

Washington, DC

Summer for Marriage Tour Stop: Sunday, August 15, 2010 from 2:00pm - 3:00pm U.S. Capitol Steps or Freedom Plaza Washington, D.C.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

sorry I'm a bit confused. Of course if you get married you have to go through the same legal ritual of divorce if you end it. It's a legal contract involving notice to the gov't about your status. If that should change, you have to declare it. like if you job changes. or you move and you still wish to vote.

So I'm kinda lost. it's all exactly the same. You have to undo what was done. after falling out. which makes things hellish.

I can't imagine the kind of hoop jumping inki and I have been doing for a year through four different countries to get it *undone* but with extremely sore feelings and deep feelings of hurt and rejection at the same time, rather than a sense of joy and certainty. dear god that sounds like hell on earth to me.

I hope, if it ever happens I can be as civil as my parents were. They screwed up. But they didn't fight over the kids, they never fought in front of us, they shared one lawyer between them to save costs.

I so like hearing this! when I did work as a family therapist with divorcing couples, what transpired betwen the partners not only in front of the kids, but in manipulating the kids was the most difficult challenge in the work. many people do not go there, but so often, this is the exception. Kudos to your parents! also, it is obvious that that modeling would be an asset for you if you did find yoursekves in a dissolution.
and there was a *lot* of serious wounding between the two of them. Both felt completely betrayed, ignored, disliked and belittled.

But they got over it and are good friends now.

Yup, can happen!

I think that shows a different kind of commitment, especially as they did it initially (trying to get along through a divorce) because of the kids. My hat off to them.

Mine, too!

I have been wondering how same-sex divorces would play out. One problem I am having is with this one being a celebrity oriented one in which privacy is just not going to happen. Guess, I want to see how just we commoners handle it. We don't really have the experience of a legally sanctioned marriage, let alone divorce. I see some key differences just due to our lack of having this right which has influenced our relationship history.

[Soon]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Mine, too!

I have been wondering how same-sex divorces would play out. One problem I am having is with this one being a celebrity oriented one in which privacy is just not going to happen. Guess, I want to see how just we commoners handle it. We don't really have the experience of a legally sanctioned marriage, let alone divorce. I see some key differences just due to our lack of having this right which has influenced our relationship history.

I am sure you there are many who have legal marriages and divorces in the States that allow them.

In Canada, all marriages and divorces are handled in the exact same way as any other. There are absolutely no differences in the execution of either the making of a legal commitment or the dissolving of it over here. One (maybe?) difference we do have is that our marriage licenses do not indicate gender for either spouse.

Or maybe you are just asking about how people handle the divorce? As with any, painfully I presume and, for some, legal drama.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

The line I bolded is what I want to talk about.

I don't know the particulars of the singers break up, nor do I want to. I was just using it as an example - of a visible queer that has advocated for Gay Marriage, and is not ending hers like everyone else who has been afforded that basic civil right.

Perhaps Melissa Etheridge was a bad example? I just read something about it and it made me start thinking, hence the subject in this thread.

I am not saying Ethridge is a bad example, but the issue is in court and she is paying all her exe's bills and wants to share custody according to court documents.

I think the media as usually is spinning it in a bad way and people were commenting on her character. Let's know what really is going on before throwing some one under the proverbial bus.

I mean, if a straight woman said her/his celebrity husband/wife left her/him with $4.00 to her name would we automatically believe her?

But yes, Gay marriages should be dissolved the same way any marriage is, and big props to people who manage to break up or divorce with zero ugliness!