What is Forgiveness?

BarbaraRyan · 08-04-2010, 09:53 PM

I think it's about choice, empowerment, and moving forward. It's the part in the process where we can stand up, acknowledge what's happened, and how it's affected us. Then, we choose to say "Okay, I can forgive that - now it's time for me to make my life and to no longer let the event or person have any control."

And it's easier said than done.

Jess · 08-05-2010, 12:29 AM

I think it revolves around remembering that it is not really about ME. It is about the actions of another and how great or small it may have affected me directly is what gives me grief. When I can remember that someone else's actions are not a reflection upon me, it is easier to "forgive" ( as if it is even my place to do so).

It's more of an acknowledging that they have different views/ reasons for what they do/ say/ are than I do. It's ( for me) more of just letting go.

I don't like saying " I forgive" someone as it feels like then I had some control or bearing on their action. What another choses to do/ say/ behave like has very little to do with ME and much more to do with their own stage of their journey. Who am I to forgive anyone but myself? The best I can do to make peace in my heart for any transgressions is to accept that where they are is "where they are". No forgiveness. No judgement. Just acceptance and a move toward safer waters for myself.

Deborah* · 10-06-2017, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarbaraRyan

I think it's about choice, empowerment, and moving forward. It's the part in the process where we can stand up, acknowledge what's happened, and how it's affected us. Then, we choose to say "Okay, I can forgive that - now it's time for me to make my life and to no longer let the event or person have any control."

And it's easier said than done.

Amen to that. I agree with what you said. Now, if I can only follow this about my stepmother.

Deborah

08-04-2010, 09:53 PM	#1
BarbaraRyan Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Miss Relationship Status: Single and Looking Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Woodbury Hts, NJ Posts: 45 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19 Thanked 43 Times in 13 Posts Rep Power: 128	I think it's about choice, empowerment, and moving forward. It's the part in the process where we can stand up, acknowledge what's happened, and how it's affected us. Then, we choose to say "Okay, I can forgive that - now it's time for me to make my life and to no longer let the event or person have any control." And it's easier said than done. __________________ Take care and be well! Hugs, BarbaraRyan

08-05-2010, 12:29 AM	#2
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,701 Times in 1,683 Posts Rep Power: 0	I think it revolves around remembering that it is not really about ME. It is about the actions of another and how great or small it may have affected me directly is what gives me grief. When I can remember that someone else's actions are not a reflection upon me, it is easier to "forgive" ( as if it is even my place to do so). It's more of an acknowledging that they have different views/ reasons for what they do/ say/ are than I do. It's ( for me) more of just letting go. I don't like saying " I forgive" someone as it feels like then I had some control or bearing on their action. What another choses to do/ say/ behave like has very little to do with ME and much more to do with their own stage of their journey. Who am I to forgive anyone but myself? The best I can do to make peace in my heart for any transgressions is to accept that where they are is "where they are". No forgiveness. No judgement. Just acceptance and a move toward safer waters for myself.