What is your Flirtation Style?

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

It's not about what you say, it's what you demonstrate and project. ....

Example: You see someone you'd like to get with. You rock up to them and say in a confident, level, voice: "Hey, how's it going?"
They will say;
"Fine."
You then say:
"Cool. What are you doing later?"
She will say:
"I'm not sure.
You then say:
"Do you want to come home with me?"

While confidence is a beautiful thing, I have to disagree. What you say DOES matter. In this specific example of dialogue given, I'd walk as far away from you as possible at the very least. I find the "Do you want to come home with me?" devoid of class and filled to the brim with obnoxious cockiness. There is a significant difference between confidence and cockiness. One, I like. The other, I don't.

For my own personal style, I'm definitely a flirt. An equal opportunity one, at that. I flirt with little old ladies and men and sanitation engineers and grocery store clerks. Flirting is like breathing for me; completely natural.

There are different degrees of flirtation. Sexual innuendo doesn't enter the picture with the vast majority of my flirting. Often there is a bit of a naughty 'air' but nothing explicit or drawn out. I only go hardcore for someone I am interested in seeing first thing the next morning, complete with bedhead and dragon breath.

I don't have a specific style, really, now that I think about it. I adapt to what the situation and the specific person seem to enjoy without losing myself or exposing myself too much.

[jenny]

Originally Posted by Gemme

There is a significant difference between confidence and cockiness. One, I like. The other, I don't.

Very well said -- I couldn't agree more!!!!

Originally Posted by Gemme

For my own personal style, I'm definitely a flirt. An equal opportunity one, at that. I flirt with little old ladies and men and sanitation engineers and grocery store clerks. Flirting is like breathing for me; completely natural.

There are different degrees of flirtation. Sexual innuendo doesn't enter the picture with the vast majority of my flirting. Often there is a bit of a naughty 'air' but nothing explicit or drawn out.

I'm just hoping you put that naughty air away when you're flirting with the little old ladies... <G>

[Rockinonahigh]

Once I thought had a pretty good style of meeting ppl,lots of southern charm,southern accent,some good old fashion conversation ect...Till I went to the bf Dallas bash...all those hot lookeing sexy femmes in one place.Well you gessed it,all I could do was to try to get out of the duhhhhhh phase of saying anything..I havent been that toung tied since I was a kid,there was this really beautiful femme at the bar that I wanted to atleast say hello to but all I did was turn red,sweat and freez up..at my age to boot.So I gess I may need a whack with a 2x4 to get going or she may well have to say hello first.

[Soft*Silver]

now look, butches and transfolks...stop the worrying about approaching us ladies. We are honored when you hike up your belt and saunter on over and cough and say hello. We love that little bit of sweat and fear that goes along with your confidence and courage. Its all there in you and thats what we love so much. Your "mix". We dont need lines or model handsomeness or suave conversation or flashy fashions to impress us. We want to see that look in your eye that says to us silently, that you are in awe of us. For just being us.

take it down a notch...dont be so in awe that it paralyzes you. We NEED you...so take a swallow and mosey on over....

[MrSunshine]

Takes too much energy so I don't do it. If I want something I say so.

[ravfem]

Is it bad that i kinda like cockiness, as well as confidence?

Should i do some self-examining?

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by ravfem

Is it bad that i kinda like cockiness, as well as confidence?

Should i do some self-examining?

Nah!

All in the eye of the beholder!

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by ravfem

Is it bad that i kinda like cockiness, as well as confidence?

Should i do some self-examining?

If it works for you, don't fix it.

It just makes me want to sock the smirk off their faces when it starts getting high and I didn't bring my waders, yanno?

[Girl_On_Fire]

Originally Posted by ravfem

Is it bad that i kinda like cockiness, as well as confidence?

Should i do some self-examining?

Ha ha! Oh my God, I'm so turned-on by cockiness and I know I shouldn't be. I don't know what's hot about some butch thinking hy's God's gift but if somebody did walk up to me and invite me to go home with hym that night, I wouldn't but I wouldn't be able to resist talking with hym for a bit. I like dominance but there's always that fine line. If you end up with somebody like that, do you end up having to deal with the massive ego for the duration of the relationship or is that just what hy leads with?

Oh, and I have no game. My problem is I can't read facial expressions and body language well so I'm never quite sure who I should be flirting with. A friend and I were just talking about this today. My problem is when I'm out at a club or something like that, I may see somebody I find attractive but I don't know how to subtly let them know that. I either look away because I can't deal with the uncomfortable eye contact or I smile in a kind of weird way because I'm nervous....I dunno. I've been told I'm unapproachable but I'm not sure how to be approachable without, I don't know, overdoing it. So yes, flirting is a big puzzle for me.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by jenny

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Very well said -- I couldn't agree more!!!!



I'm just hoping you put that naughty air away when you're flirting with the little old ladies... <G>

You might be surprised how many do like a little naughty with their afternoon tea.

[MysticOceansFL]

I'm pretty much myself I don't do anything special that I recall.

[Ebon]

I like to laugh with my flirtation target or mess with them. Tease them a bit in a playful way.

[Cowboi]

its been so long, I can't seem to remember...........

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Gemme

While confidence is a beautiful thing, I have to disagree. What you say DOES matter. In this specific example of dialogue given, I'd walk as far away from you as possible at the very least. I find the "Do you want to come home with me?" devoid of class and filled to the brim with obnoxious cockiness. There is a significant difference between confidence and cockiness. One, I like. The other, I don't.

For my own personal style, I'm definitely a flirt. An equal opportunity one, at that. I flirt with little old ladies and men and sanitation engineers and grocery store clerks. Flirting is like breathing for me; completely natural.

There are different degrees of flirtation. Sexual innuendo doesn't enter the picture with the vast majority of my flirting. Often there is a bit of a naughty 'air' but nothing explicit or drawn out. I only go hardcore for someone I am interested in seeing first thing the next morning, complete with bedhead and dragon breath.

I don't have a specific style, really, now that I think about it. I adapt to what the situation and the specific person seem to enjoy without losing myself or exposing myself too much.

Oh, yeah, to me there is a big difference between confidence and cockiness. For both butches and femmes......

I am awkward with flirtation, but have taken in when someone's cocky flirtation style falls lands them right on their ass.

[Duchess]

My darling HDD you would be the one starting this thread .

I feel as though I was born with the flirty gene. However, if I truly like someone they know it. I'm very comfortable letting a person know how I feel about them. I might even like them enough to have my own nickname for them.

Duchess

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Duchess

My darling HDD you would be the one starting this thread .

I feel as though I was born with the flirty gene. However, if I truly like someone they know it. I'm very comfortable letting a person know how I feel about them. I might even like them enough to have my own nickname for them.

Duchess

Ah! The Duchess!!!

And, there is no one else that has their very own nickname for me! What can I say! Besides, WOW!!!

Hummm.... you have that priceless flirty gene that is like that is unasumming about their beauty... because it's about the entire being, all of their characteristics and the flow of the combinations.

I tend to find understatement the hottest!

Oh, and you have me blushing!

[cara]

my flirtation style? i don't think i have one. usually when i'm attracted to someone and they are near me, i turn into a bumbling idiot.

[dixie]

Originally Posted by cara

my flirtation style? i don't think i have one. usually when i'm attracted to someone and they are near me, i turn into a bumbling idiot.

Exactly! If I actually like the person, I too become a bumbling idiot who always says the wrong thing and just sits there and giggles a lot.

I'm a little more bold online though, and will rep them or start a general conversation with them. It just varies. If I see a window of opportunity I usually try to jump thru it without bumping my head! lol

Now if I'm just flirting for the fun of flirting, then I have all the confidence in the world. The sultry smile, the batting eyelashes, the light touching, the rather forward phrases...

[cane]

When flirting I find that my eyes are a gold mine since they have a really extraordinary colour.

Not that I'm flirting theese days, Oh no...would never happen!

Otherwise I think that straight forward is the way to go. When I met my wife for example, after knowing her for some time I went up to her on a party and told her that I was interrested in her and that I thought that she felt the same. I think she was a little thrown by my lack of shyness, but it worked. Of course she had a boyfriend (and was straight) at the time so it's never just straight forward, but flirting goes well together with honesty, works every time.

[Ryobi]

I flirt with everybody.(ask the giant hairy guy I work with. lol) I can't help it. I like to see people smile, I like to give compliments. My compliments aren't a fun fluff flirt, I mean them. And I love seeing the look (or smile) on peoples faces when they realize, "I'm being flirted with."
Flirting almost got me in trouble once, big trouble. I worked nights at a CBRF that was specific to Alzheimer's disease. All of the elderly took me as guy. (which had some serious advantages with showering and dressing the old dudes. I was one of the boys, they didn't feel awkward.) I flirted with the ladies (residents) on a regular basis. I think that worked wonders in getting people that were scared in general because they don't know what's happening to them, to trust me. I rarely had a problem with residents. One day a co-worker thought that me flirting with the resident was the most disgusting thing she had ever seen and called "the state" to tell them what I was doing. A Rep showed up one night to "observe" me. (and I went on as usual. I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong. Nothing was sexual about it.) In the morning I could hear him in the office with admin. and the woman with the problem saying, "if you had 10 more people on staff like that, this place would win awards!" (he was mad.) Admin never had a problem with me, it was that one person and she quit 2 days later.
Anyway, yeah, flirting is just in me. Compliment on anything with a smile and a sparkle in your eye. If I'm working on or in a relationship, flirting is more specific and you will know I'm talkin to you. It confuses some but, I don't flirt for my advantage, I flirt for yours. (not meant cocky)
However, I'm not 2x4 when it comes to people flirting with me. I'm more like 4x8. *shrug*.