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Old 09-20-2010, 12:44 PM   #21
Maria
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Originally Posted by Jude View Post
Example: You see someone you'd like to get with. You rock up to them and say in a confident, level, voice: "Hey, how's it going?"
They will say;
"Fine."
You then say:
"Cool. What are you doing later?"
She will say:
"I'm not sure.
You then say:
"Do you want to come home with me?"
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Last edited by Maria; 09-20-2010 at 12:53 PM. Reason: Being a mensch and correcting Jude's spelling.
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Old 09-20-2010, 12:47 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa View Post
Example: You see someone you'd like to get with. You rock up to them and say in a confident, level, voice: "Hey, how's it going?"
They will say;
"Fine."
You then say:
"Cool. What are you doing later?"
She will say:
"I'm not sure.
You then say:
"Do you want to come home with me?"
I would then say: *snicker* *pat on head* *walk away chuckling*
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:11 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa View Post
It's not about what you say, it's what you demonstrate and project. ....

Example: You see someone you'd like to get with. You rock up to them and say in a confident, level, voice: "Hey, how's it going?"
They will say;
"Fine."
You then say:
"Cool. What are you doing later?"
She will say:
"I'm not sure.
You then say:
"Do you want to come home with me?"
While confidence is a beautiful thing, I have to disagree. What you say DOES matter. In this specific example of dialogue given, I'd walk as far away from you as possible at the very least. I find the "Do you want to come home with me?" devoid of class and filled to the brim with obnoxious cockiness. There is a significant difference between confidence and cockiness. One, I like. The other, I don't.

For my own personal style, I'm definitely a flirt. An equal opportunity one, at that. I flirt with little old ladies and men and sanitation engineers and grocery store clerks. Flirting is like breathing for me; completely natural.

There are different degrees of flirtation. Sexual innuendo doesn't enter the picture with the vast majority of my flirting. Often there is a bit of a naughty 'air' but nothing explicit or drawn out. I only go hardcore for someone I am interested in seeing first thing the next morning, complete with bedhead and dragon breath.

I don't have a specific style, really, now that I think about it. I adapt to what the situation and the specific person seem to enjoy without losing myself or exposing myself too much.
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:14 PM   #24
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There is a significant difference between confidence and cockiness. One, I like. The other, I don't.



Very well said -- I couldn't agree more!!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
For my own personal style, I'm definitely a flirt. An equal opportunity one, at that. I flirt with little old ladies and men and sanitation engineers and grocery store clerks. Flirting is like breathing for me; completely natural.

There are different degrees of flirtation. Sexual innuendo doesn't enter the picture with the vast majority of my flirting. Often there is a bit of a naughty 'air' but nothing explicit or drawn out.
I'm just hoping you put that naughty air away when you're flirting with the little old ladies... <G>
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:43 PM   #25
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Once I thought had a pretty good style of meeting ppl,lots of southern charm,southern accent,some good old fashion conversation ect...Till I went to the bf Dallas bash...all those hot lookeing sexy femmes in one place.Well you gessed it,all I could do was to try to get out of the duhhhhhh phase of saying anything..I havent been that toung tied since I was a kid,there was this really beautiful femme at the bar that I wanted to atleast say hello to but all I did was turn red,sweat and freez up..at my age to boot.So I gess I may need a whack with a 2x4 to get going or she may well have to say hello first.
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Old 09-20-2010, 02:00 PM   #26
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now look, butches and transfolks...stop the worrying about approaching us ladies. We are honored when you hike up your belt and saunter on over and cough and say hello. We love that little bit of sweat and fear that goes along with your confidence and courage. Its all there in you and thats what we love so much. Your "mix". We dont need lines or model handsomeness or suave conversation or flashy fashions to impress us. We want to see that look in your eye that says to us silently, that you are in awe of us. For just being us.

take it down a notch...dont be so in awe that it paralyzes you. We NEED you...so take a swallow and mosey on over....
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Old 09-20-2010, 02:01 PM   #27
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Takes too much energy so I don't do it. If I want something I say so.
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Old 09-20-2010, 02:05 PM   #28
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Is it bad that i kinda like cockiness, as well as confidence?

Should i do some self-examining?

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Old 09-20-2010, 02:05 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by jenny View Post
[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]


Very well said -- I couldn't agree more!!!!




I'm just hoping you put that naughty air away when you're flirting with the little old ladies... <G>
You might be surprised how many do like a little naughty with their afternoon tea.
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Old 09-20-2010, 02:52 PM   #30
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I'm pretty much myself I don't do anything special that I recall.
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Old 09-20-2010, 03:04 PM   #31
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I like to laugh with my flirtation target or mess with them. Tease them a bit in a playful way.
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Old 09-20-2010, 03:23 PM   #32
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Confidence, close to cocky actually some people say I'm cocky. Oh well I don't flirt, but I know I will catch flack for that statement, but um I guess my down home southern charm and my eyes which everyone seems to love sometimes are interpreted as flirting.
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Old 09-20-2010, 03:45 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by ravfem View Post
Is it bad that i kinda like cockiness, as well as confidence?

Should i do some self-examining?

Nah!

All in the eye of the beholder!
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Old 09-20-2010, 03:52 PM   #34
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Is it bad that i kinda like cockiness, as well as confidence?

Should i do some self-examining?

If it works for you, don't fix it.

It just makes me want to sock the smirk off their faces when it starts getting high and I didn't bring my waders, yanno?
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Old 09-20-2010, 03:56 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
While confidence is a beautiful thing, I have to disagree. What you say DOES matter. In this specific example of dialogue given, I'd walk as far away from you as possible at the very least. I find the "Do you want to come home with me?" devoid of class and filled to the brim with obnoxious cockiness. There is a significant difference between confidence and cockiness. One, I like. The other, I don't.

For my own personal style, I'm definitely a flirt. An equal opportunity one, at that. I flirt with little old ladies and men and sanitation engineers and grocery store clerks. Flirting is like breathing for me; completely natural.

There are different degrees of flirtation. Sexual innuendo doesn't enter the picture with the vast majority of my flirting. Often there is a bit of a naughty 'air' but nothing explicit or drawn out. I only go hardcore for someone I am interested in seeing first thing the next morning, complete with bedhead and dragon breath.

I don't have a specific style, really, now that I think about it. I adapt to what the situation and the specific person seem to enjoy without losing myself or exposing myself too much.
Oh, yeah, to me there is a big difference between confidence and cockiness. For both butches and femmes......

I am awkward with flirtation, but have taken in when someone's cocky flirtation style falls lands them right on their ass.

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Old 09-20-2010, 04:06 PM   #36
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My darling HDD you would be the one starting this thread .

I feel as though I was born with the flirty gene. However, if I truly like someone they know it. I'm very comfortable letting a person know how I feel about them. I might even like them enough to have my own nickname for them.

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Old 09-20-2010, 04:24 PM   #37
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If it works for you, don't fix it.

It just makes me want to sock the smirk off their faces when it starts getting high and I didn't bring my waders, yanno?

ROTFL!!! Ah, Geez! But yes... whatever works!

I just realized that the space in which I am most comfortable with flirting is through dance. Partner dancing. When I lead a good follow and we are in sync, I see her pride and twinkle (the lead's job is at all times, to make the follow look good!)! It is a dance of a kind of flirtation for me. Hummm... a mode of confidence! LOL... does get conversation flowing!


Oh, good, I have a style of flirtation!
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Old 09-20-2010, 04:59 PM   #38
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If it works for you, don't fix it.

It just makes me want to sock the smirk off their faces when it starts getting high and I didn't bring my waders, yanno?
ohhhhhhh!! What you call "cocky" i call a "charmer"!!

Yeah, no i don't care much for that type.

BS gets you zero stars!
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Old 09-20-2010, 05:08 PM   #39
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its been so long, I can't seem to remember...........
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Old 09-20-2010, 05:12 PM   #40
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Coolness thread!!!

Enjoyed the reading and thinking bout it all. Gosh, flirting, for me, just comes natural as I read some of you feel the same.

It is so much easier in person. It is so engaging to walk past someone i find interesting, get the attention, flash a smile and blush at exactly 3 seconds after making eye contact and look away. If all is well at that point then it may be time to offer up a game of pool, lean just right over that pool table and then gaze back to see where the eyes are. If the preliminary flirting is found to be receptive, then it is time to see if intellectually it is a match...if it is..then flirting is even more fun. It's in the walk, the smile, the wording, and the feminine "ways" for me at least.

It is just easier in person...it's just natural and man alive is it fun.

Online however, I find it very difficult. You can't see how the other person is really responding and i tend to put a lot of "lol"s in my convo just so the other person knows i'm smiling if i'm being a little "over the top" and confident.

The jury is still out if i am any good at online flirting i think...

But offer me a pool stick, a drink or a great conversation...and it's smooth sailing.
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