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12-13-2009, 11:03 PM
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#1 | |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Diva Preferred Pronoun?:
Diva 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
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Quote:
That's because [wicked] cousin OilCan had the Cocoa Trailer People put something spikey in your Auntie Diva's cocoa powder. That's it. Cousin OilCan? Go get me a switch from the pecan tree! |
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12-14-2009, 09:28 AM
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#2 |
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Member
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Disobedient Thing... Preferred Pronoun?:
Rebel Soul in the blood..Heathen as well Relationship Status:
Marked and Loved....I Belong to Her.... 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Omaha
Posts: 984
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Thanked 1,354 Times in 579 Posts
Rep Power: 927728 |
hahahahahahahha lmfao baby jeebus take the wheel
omg thats funny you guys would have me rolling so hard |
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12-14-2009, 09:44 AM
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#3 | |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Diva Preferred Pronoun?:
Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Quote:
Yes.....being in a car full of haters & a woman in a pillbox IS hysterical!  |
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12-17-2009, 10:05 PM
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#4 | |
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Member
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Human Preferred Pronoun?:
He/Him Relationship Status:
Happily Single! Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Nunya
Posts: 1,225
Thanks: 2,355
Thanked 2,574 Times in 789 Posts
Rep Power: 18276167 |
Quote:
And the Cocoa trailer people seemed like they were in shock or something, lol. I mean, you know,,it's hard mixing water and cocoa powder in a trailer. I do wish all the cousins could join us at the cocoa trailer! What fun that would be,,for us. The locals might not be so amused though,,, Cousin OilCan |
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12-18-2009, 06:42 AM
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#5 | |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Diva Preferred Pronoun?:
Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Quote:
Yes, the Cocoa Trailer people would get an eyeful, wouldn't they cousin Oilcan, if all the cousins ran amok at the Light Display....  I can see cousin Shizzle trying to climb up on Santa's stagecoach  or cousin GemmieLicious trying to climb into baby Jeebus's manger. I kept waiting for that trailer to break free and roll into the ribber, as we were rather on an incline.......Your Auntie Diva felt like a mountain goat.....a mountain goat with vertigo.....  Signed, Auntie Diva on the slant.....gotta hate THAT! |
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12-18-2009, 07:05 PM
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#6 | |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
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Rep Power: 21474888 |
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12-19-2009, 10:35 AM
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#7 | |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Diva Preferred Pronoun?:
Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Quote:
How did I KNOW this? I've made you a t-shirt, cousin Gemmie, that says, "I Slept With The Baby Jeebus & All I Got Was This Stupid T~Shirt?!?!" That is all. Signed, ~Auntie Diva CEO of Auntie Diva's T~Shirts-R-Us |
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12-19-2009, 08:06 PM
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#8 | |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM'
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,631
Thanks: 182,498
Thanked 107,972 Times in 25,664 Posts
Rep Power: 21474888 |
Quote:
 
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12-24-2009, 05:41 PM
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#9 |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Diva Preferred Pronoun?:
Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Good afternoon, boys and girls, and Merry Holidays Eve!
I have a Christmas story for you about My Evil Postman and The Case Of The Runaway Mailbox.............. For weeks now, I have noticed that my mailbox was getting tiltier and tiltier....sorta like your cousin Lips toward the end of one of your Auntie Diva's soirees...... But I digress...... So, I have waited with bated breath lo these many days (notice I said "lo", boys and girls, just like the baby Jeebus's angel said to the shepherds tending their flocks....I wanted to make the story relevant for the children) for an opportune moment to actually FIX that mailbox as the postman wasn't treating it with care as he deposited my mail. I'm not exactly sure, boys and girls, what his issue was and why it was so difficult to just slide the mail in, seeing as the DOOR to the mailbox fell off months ago.  ANYway.... I was sitting at my desk just a few moments ago, minding my own bees wax, playing Shoot The Balloon (or whatEVER it's called) and my doorbell rings. Normally, I would not answer the door, boys and girls, but your cousin OilCan and your cousin Schmoopie were out of town, so I knew it was safe to answer. Lo and behold, a stranger from the east, boys and girls. No. Really. I've never seen such a strange looking man. And why was he standing on my porch..........and holding my mailbox?????  I opened my door. "Hi....my name is Shawn," he said (so it WASN'T Sasquatch?!?!?!?), and I think this might be yours. It wasn't hard to figure it out, really, as yours is the only house on the street without a mailbox." (smartass) And he held up my doorless mailbox! "OH MY GOODNESS," I exclaimed. "Where do live?" "About 4 doors down on the other side of the street," he replied. "We had some strong winds last night, I guess." He spoke the truth. Even Lucy had barked at the noise of the wind, boys and girls. I opened my door and he handed me my mailbox. Thank GOODness, I had bought a NEW mailbox.....2 years ago. Now.....maybe you're remembering, boys and girls, that I mentioned my evil postman? Yes. As your Auntie Diva was waiting for more Christmas cards, the postman just whizzed right by your Auntie Diva's house!!! Could he not have dropped off my mail????? Was that too much to ask? My FORMER mailchick WOULD have. SHE would have LOOKED for my poor, doorless, lost and windblown mailbox......and brought it to me.......and PROBABLY would have offered to fix it for me, too. She was cute that way. And that, boys and girls, was the story of The Evil Postman, Sasquatch and Auntie Diva's Windblown Mailbox. Signed, Auntie Diva......looking for cousin M, as SHE used to work for the postal service & she's wondering if it's "...neither rain, nor snow, nor WIND TURBULENCE or dark of night....." if THAT'S the way that goes..... |
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I'm misunderestimated. 
Hybrid Mode
