Ask a trans person!

[Jet]

I quite T. And there's a storm brewing. There are things in our past sometimes that can't be changed—things follow us. Wishing you well.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by katsarecool

thank you for asking Linus. You can go to ABCnews web site to watch the story. Just check the 20/20 link for yesterday's show. A short synopsis though; a mtf transgendered person becomes a widow of a fireman who lost his life fighting a fire. His family found out that she was born a man and is now suing her for survivor's benefits totalling almost a million dollars citing their marriage was not legal in TX. The surgery was done before marriage, the husband was well aware of the circumstances and she had her name changed on DL and other legal papers. It was very touching and emphasizes how far we have to go.

Ah.. this story: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=1776

Originally Posted by Jet

I quite T. And there's a storm brewing. There are things in our past sometimes that can't be changed—things follow us. Wishing you well.

Sorry to hear that but sometimes we have to step back before we can move forward. Hopefully things will sort themselves out and allow you to move in the direction you want.

[asphaltcowboi]

question?
i have taken T is the past for about 9 mos. my personality changed for the worse and friends convinced me it was the T. ive been off T for about a year. i would like to start back on it. has anyone else had agressiveness, meanness issues with T? and now i know what to expect is it possiable to curb the issues?

[Kobi]

I have a question....

I'm presuming you are familiar with the stiry about Kye on the GWU NCAA basketball team. He said "I'm not a trans, I am a man."

Is that a personal preference or is there a distinction that is made in the community?

[Kobi]

I have a question....

I'm presuming you are familiar with the article about Kye on the GWU NCAA womens basketball team. He said "I'm not a trans, I am a man."

Is that a personal preference or is there a distinction that is made in the community?

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I have a question....

I'm presuming you are familiar with the article about Kye on the GWU NCAA womens basketball team. He said "I'm not a trans, I am a man."

Is that a personal preference or is there a distinction that is made in the community?

Personally speaking, I think it's just a self-identification thing.....so a personal preference.

There are many who reject the "female at birth" notion and many who accept it without question. It's just self-identification.

Just my opinion, of course...

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I have a question....

I'm presuming you are familiar with the article about Kye on the GWU NCAA womens basketball team. He said "I'm not a trans, I am a man."

Is that a personal preference or is there a distinction that is made in the community?

Originally Posted by Thinker

Personally speaking, I think it's just a self-identification thing.....so a personal preference.

There are many who reject the "female at birth" notion and many who accept it without question. It's just self-identification.

Just my opinion, of course...

I have to agree with Thinker about this. It is an identity choice.

[Leigh]

I agree as well that its a personal preference, as I've seen that with many people to be the case. I've known trans guys who compleely shun the notion that they were ever female even if only at birth, and I've known other guys who embrace who they were as they transition. I personally am the kind of guy who embraces My past and knows that I may have been born female, but I'm still a man and am matching My outside to My inside feelings. I'm not ashamed of any of My years as a female, no I dont like that but I embrace it and know that I had may good times in the past ~ times that I wouldn't trade for the world

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I have a question....

I'm presuming you are familiar with the article about Kye on the GWU NCAA womens basketball team. He said "I'm not a trans, I am a man."

Is that a personal preference or is there a distinction that is made in the community?

I think you could say it's both. I also kind of cringe when people talk as though its about denying that you were born with female anatomy. I don't think many out there actually deny that, since it's a little hard to deny with it in your face every day. Personally, when I reject the word "trans" it's because I don't like its implications for me, and I consider my mental/neurological sex more important than the biological sex I was born into, since that is what determines my consciousness as an individual. I know a lot of guys my age see it this way, too, so it may also be generational.

Personally, I don't think saying "I'm not trans, I am a man" is necessarily denying having been born biologically female (I didn't get the impression that Kye was denying that fact), but taking the mind as more important than the physical manifestation of sex one was born into.

That's my two cents, anyway.

Edit, wanted to add that I don't think this kind of statement necessarily severs one from the LGBT or trans community. It's simply a different way of seeing your situation.

[Greyson]

Originally Posted by EnderD_503

I think you could say it's both. I also kind of cringe when people talk as though its about denying that you were born with female anatomy. I don't think many out there actually deny that, since it's a little hard to deny with it in your face every day. Personally, when I reject the word "trans" it's because I don't like its implications for me, and I consider my mental/neurological sex more important than the biological sex I was born into, since that is what determines my consciousness as an individual. I know a lot of guys my age see it this way, too, so it may also be generational.

Personally, I don't think saying "I'm not trans, I am a man" is necessarily denying having been born biologically female (I didn't get the impression that Kye was denying that fact), but taking the mind as more important than the physical manifestation of sex one was born into.That's my two cents, anyway.

Edit, wanted to add that I don't think this kind of statement necessarily severs one from the LGBT or trans community. It's simply a different way of seeing your situation.

Ender, thanks for giving your perspective. Your post helped me get a better understanding of where you and others are coming from. On this particular nuance, we differ.

For me saying I am a "Transman" lends clarity to those that are trying to fit me somewhere on the gender spectrum. I do want them to know, I was born into a female body and my gender expression, how I think, how I feel, how I move through this world, did not and does not fit the constructs of how gender is perceived, critiqued. (BTW, I don't agree with how gender is broken down by the larger culture. Femininity and masculinity are not exclusive to either female or the male sex.)

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Greyson

Ender, thanks for giving your perspective. Your post helped me get a better understanding of where you and others are coming from. On this particular nuance, we differ.

For me saying I am a "Transman" lends clarity to those that are trying to fit me somewhere on the gender spectrum. I do want them to know, I was born into a female body and my gender expression, how I think, how I feel, how I move through this world, did not and does not fit the constructs of how gender is perceived, critiqued. (BTW, I don't agree with how gender is broken down by the larger culture. Femininity and masculinity are not exclusive to either female or the male sex.)

I am right here with you Greyson. I claim "transguy" because for me, I am on a spectrum. My upbringing and experiences when I was young and in the closet have shaped me and are part of who I am. But I am a guy, not a woman. For me trans means I stand outside the gender norms. It just fits for me and how I feel as a person.

There is nothing wrong with guys IDing as men and not trans. That is their sense of self and should be acknowledged and respected. We are a diverse population, not completely homogenous. But its that way with any of the "letters" in the LGBTQ community.

[Blade]

I have a question for those who have had top surgery. How did you pay for your surgery?

It has been suggested that I have a reduction for health reasons and my insurance would pay for it. As tempting as that sounds they wouldn't be gone they'd still be there just much smaller.

So how did you pay for your surgery?

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Blade

I have a question for those who have had top surgery. How did you pay for your surgery?

It has been suggested that I have a reduction for health reasons and my insurance would pay for it. As tempting as that sounds they wouldn't be gone they'd still be there just much smaller.

So how did you pay for your surgery?

Actually that is one way to do it. The Insurance Company cannot verify how the procedure is done (HIPPA violation), just that the surgeon has done it. I will be applying to see if my insurance will cover mine (Dr. V. has said that I'm large enough and with the back issues I've had to potentially qualify this way).

That said, I still have to cover it on my own and apply for insurance coverage. For me, I had some money saved to pay for taxes I thought I'd pay but turned out I didn't need to and that I actually got a refund. The combination of the two was enough to cover the cost of surgery.

There are some grants you can get. Look for the Jim Collins Foundation. They were created to cover surgery costs specifically for trans individuals in need.

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Blade

I have a question for those who have had top surgery. How did you pay for your surgery?

It has been suggested that I have a reduction for health reasons and my insurance would pay for it. As tempting as that sounds they wouldn't be gone they'd still be there just much smaller.

So how did you pay for your surgery?

I had contemplated this and in fact my insurance at the time denied the claim despite all my back problems. They said I had too many and that it wouldn't help! Wrong ... but I am glad they didn't at the time because I wouldn't have been happy with just a reduction and couldn't imagine doing surgery twice. I'm gettin older and the healing time and process more lengthy each time.

I ended up getting a car accident settlement that was enough to pay for my surgery and time off work since i had a job without vacation or sick time.

Don't recommend that route but my experience was everything just happened when it needed to happen. It Fell into place at the time that my sanity was wearing out and something needed to be done. Got the money and had surgery two weeks later because it was the slow period of work and if I was going to miss that was the time to be off.

[theoddz]

Originally Posted by Blade

I have a question for those who have had top surgery. How did you pay for your surgery?

It has been suggested that I have a reduction for health reasons and my insurance would pay for it. As tempting as that sounds they wouldn't be gone they'd still be there just much smaller.

So how did you pay for your surgery?

I'm going to answer your question and also another common question that's asked, simply so others will know what this takes, moneywise, to do, since this procedure is seldom covered by insurance at all.

I paid entirely out of my own pocket. Dr. V's fee, about $7750, included everything (he has his own accredited surgical center) except the lab pathology, which ran about $450. Surprisingly, my health insurance (FEHB) paid for that, minus a $38 deductible, which I paid.

I had to travel to Newport Beach, California, from here in Las Vegas, so by the time I added up the travel expenses (for my girlfriend and me), hotel, meals, etc., the total cost was right under $10K.

~Theo~

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Blade

I have a question for those who have had top surgery. How did you pay for your surgery?

It has been suggested that I have a reduction for health reasons and my insurance would pay for it. As tempting as that sounds they wouldn't be gone they'd still be there just much smaller.

So how did you pay for your surgery?

I paid all medical and associated fees out of pocket. I went on a spending fast for about a year and socked the money away.

I was very fortunate to have a career at the time that allowed me to accrue sick and personal leave to the extent that my entire recovery time was covered.

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by cody

question?
i have taken T is the past for about 9 mos. my personality changed for the worse and friends convinced me it was the T. ive been off T for about a year. i would like to start back on it. has anyone else had agressiveness, meanness issues with T? and now i know what to expect is it possiable to curb the issues?

Sometimes the shots can make you more prone to mood swings, but that isn't a big issue for most guys. I am more susceptible to that because of my bipolar disorder, so I am on the gel. I apply it every day so I get a continuous amount instead of the cycles of the shots. That has worked well for me. Maybe you can discuss that possibility with your doctor.

[asphaltcowboi]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Sometimes the shots can make you more prone to mood swings, but that isn't a big issue for most guys. I am more susceptible to that because of my bipolar disorder, so I am on the gel. I apply it every day so I get a continuous amount instead of the cycles of the shots. That has worked well for me. Maybe you can discuss that possibility with your doctor.

ok ill talk to a doc about it.. thanks i see you in rio vista ? i used to live in antioch.. in in az now.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by cody

question?
i have taken T is the past for about 9 mos. my personality changed for the worse and friends convinced me it was the T. ive been off T for about a year. i would like to start back on it. has anyone else had agressiveness, meanness issues with T? and now i know what to expect is it possiable to curb the issues?

Like atomiczombie said, talking it over with your doc would be wise. Perhaps you just need a lower amount on a weekly basis.......or getting a daily dose like atomic does. Something more steady...