Were you adopted in a closed adoption?

Jess · 12-16-2009, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christie0918

(insert great big gay hugs here)

I know you are pretty successful... You are an amazing woman and I'm glad you recognize what others around you know... you rawk.

Sometimes, things come forefront, at least for me, when I least expect them to... perhaps the timing of "now" for your adoption issues is more that you were in a place to be open to the idea that it "might be more"... sometimes (again, at least for me) its easier not to acknowledge something as to not breathe life into it. *shrugs* but then, whatdoiknow? LOL

I don't think it matters when you deal with them... at least you are moving forward... making that effort.

Its hard. It hurts. Its especially difficult for those of us with entrenched trust/openness issues to be that emotionally vulnerable. With our loved ones... with our partners... let's not even talk about with strangers.

For me, the resolution to some things is that there is no resolution. It just is.

I've got good listening ears if you ever need to talk.

Christie

Not being an adoptee, I hope this is not seen as intrusive.

I do think sometimes the issues that our partners face or have faced need to be seen by us and appreciated. I have had two partners now who were adopted and it is amazing how very differently they have each dealt with the issues that come with it.

I also am a firm believer in the notion that the universe never gives us more than we can handle and that it works with divine timing. Meaning.. when the stuff surfaces, it is usually exactly when it needs to, as we have become ready to address it.

I am very grateful for this thread and will back out now to not distract. You all are incredible folks! The willingness to share is nothing but pure strength and grace. Thank you.

Apocalipstic · 12-16-2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jess

Not being an adoptee, I hope this is not seen as intrusive.

I do think sometimes the issues that our partners face or have faced need to be seen by us and appreciated. I have had two partners now who were adopted and it is amazing how very differently they have each dealt with the issues that come with it.

I also am a firm believer in the notion that the universe never gives us more than we can handle and that it works with divine timing. Meaning.. when the stuff surfaces, it is usually exactly when it needs to, as we have become ready to address it.

I am very grateful for this thread and will back out now to not distract. You all are incredible folks! The willingness to share is nothing but pure strength and grace. Thank you.

Thanks for posting!

I think for those of us who have been abandoned in a huge way early on, having an understanding supportive partner is a wonderful and very important thing!

I like the idea of things surfacing when we are ready to handle them.

Again, thanks for posting and being so supportive!

bigbutchmistie · 12-16-2009, 09:55 AM

Yes they knew that's where I was sent ar 18 to meet with a bus ticket.

Some people should adopt and others should never be allowed to.

I know this sunject is hard for everyone hugs all around

Apocalipstic · 12-16-2009, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigbutchmistie

Yes they knew that's where I was sent ar 18 to meet with a bus ticket.

Some people should adopt and others should never be allowed to.

I know this sunject is hard for everyone hugs all around

You have to have a licence to fish, but anyone can have a baby.

Crazy isn't it?

Diva · 12-16-2009, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

You have to have a licence to fish, but anyone can have a baby.

Crazy isn't it?

It is.

bigbutchmistie · 12-16-2009, 10:45 AM

Yep It Is crazy

Rockinonahigh · 12-16-2009, 11:56 AM

apocaliptic
my grannie was my bio grannie,she was from the old country Italy as she called it,her family heritage was a hodgepodeg of things.Mostly Italian,some spanish a bit from romainia.Grand pa was full scicilain,younger son who took his inheratence off to the new world(usa).The family rumor was that grannie had the gift and was some sort of seer,she read cards,had chryistels ect.She could almost anser many questions before I could ask them.No,she never would teach me anything no matter how hard I tryed to get her to,said it had no place in the up and comeing world I lived in.To bad cause I would love to know the things she did.
Rockin

Greyson · 12-19-2009, 04:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

You have to have a licence to fish, but anyone can have a baby.

Crazy isn't it?

Tell me about it. I have often thought the same thought or similar. And so many are afraid that the Queers are going to destroy the children? I am not adopted but one of my ex girlfriends and now a very good friend/family she is adopted. I have seen her struggle for years not knowing. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories with us.

NotAnAverageGuy · 12-19-2009, 12:11 PM

On the topic of good and bad genes...

anyone think they got the bad genes?

FeminineAllure · 12-19-2009, 12:58 PM

http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/labno...t-depends.aspx

Apocalipstic · 12-22-2009, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NotAnAverageGuy

On the topic of good and bad genes...

anyone think they got the bad genes?

I think that adoption in itself can casue so many problems, Its difficult to see what the genes would have created if we had not been adopted.

Have I had lots of mental problems in my life? YES.

12-19-2009, 12:58 PM	#10
FeminineAllure Member How Do You Identify?: Female Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: My rainbow is way overdue Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PA Posts: 1,145 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,659 Thanked 2,026 Times in 555 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/labno...t-depends.aspx __________________ Remember anyone can love you when the sun is shining...In the storm is where you learn who truly cares for you

12-16-2009, 09:55 AM	#3
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Yes they knew that's where I was sent ar 18 to meet with a bus ticket. Some people should adopt and others should never be allowed to. I know this sunject is hard for everyone hugs all around

12-16-2009, 10:45 AM	#6
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Yep It Is crazy

12-16-2009, 11:56 AM	#7
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	apocaliptic my grannie was my bio grannie,she was from the old country Italy as she called it,her family heritage was a hodgepodeg of things.Mostly Italian,some spanish a bit from romainia.Grand pa was full scicilain,younger son who took his inheratence off to the new world(usa).The family rumor was that grannie had the gift and was some sort of seer,she read cards,had chryistels ect.She could almost anser many questions before I could ask them.No,she never would teach me anything no matter how hard I tryed to get her to,said it had no place in the up and comeing world I lived in.To bad cause I would love to know the things she did. Rockin

12-19-2009, 12:11 PM	#9
NotAnAverageGuy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Trans Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,723 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 109 Thanked 282 Times in 178 Posts Rep Power: 0	On the topic of good and bad genes... anyone think they got the bad genes?