Jokes and things that made you laugh.

Legendryder · 11-19-2010, 07:28 AM

Bob. He makes me laugh everyday. This morning I was sitting at my desk drinking coffee trying to wake up. From behind me I hear these noises. Squeeks and whimpers. I turn my head and the lump in the covers is moving. Bob is chasing something in his sleep. Punk.

scootebaby · 11-19-2010, 08:51 AM

saw this on a facebook status---"strap on spelled backwards is no parts..oh the irony" i couldnt help but chuckle

Random · 11-19-2010, 09:22 AM

"How do you catch a unque rabbit?"

"you neek up on it..."

It makes me giggle every time I hear it....

Miami · 11-19-2010, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Random

"How do you catch a unque rabbit?"

"you neek up on it..."

It makes me giggle every time I hear it....

You know the WHOLE joke? It goes, how do you catch a tame rabbit? U neek up on it.

And how do you catch a UNIQUE rabbit? Tame way, you neek up on it!

Random · 11-19-2010, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miami

You know the WHOLE joke? It goes, how do you catch a tame rabbit? U neek up on it.

And how do you catch a UNIQUE rabbit? Tame way, you neek up on it!

Grin...

I had forgotten the rest...

Thank you...

Someone told me that joke once up on a time when I was in a full, all out, no holds bar rage, ranting session..... It deflated and derailed me in two seconds...

I love that joke..

scootebaby · 11-19-2010, 12:00 PM

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

lipstixgal · 11-27-2010, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scootebaby

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

That's funny did the laxative work during the night?? It really shouldn't have it usually takes about 8 hours!!

scootebaby · 11-27-2010, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lipstixgal

That's funny did the laxative work during the night?? It really shouldn't have it usually takes about 8 hours!!

[COLOR="Black"]uh they were fast acting /COLOR]

lipstixgal · 11-19-2010, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legendryder

Bob. He makes me laugh everyday. This morning I was sitting at my desk drinking coffee trying to wake up. From behind me I hear these noises. Squeeks and whimpers. I turn my head and the lump in the covers is moving. Bob is chasing something in his sleep. Punk.

You're dog is so cute and funny too. My dog twirls when she's happy round and round she goes its cute and funny too. My other dog is funny but when he was younger used to do funny things now that he is older he has mellowed out. But yes the animals can do funny things.

Janstevie · 11-19-2010, 11:06 AM

An old but gold...............................

Dear Son,
Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well.
You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Irish family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.
Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle.

Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial!

Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.
I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.
I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.
We had a letter from the under-taker. He said if the last payment on your Grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
Your loving Mum

P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope.

11-19-2010, 09:22 AM	#3
Random Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: back in the land of trees and snow Posts: 2,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,017 Thanked 5,327 Times in 1,378 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	"How do you catch a unque rabbit?" "you neek up on it..." It makes me giggle every time I hear it.... __________________ ~Volunteer~ "It gets in your blood"

11-19-2010, 12:00 PM	#6
scootebaby Timed Out How Do You Identify?: yes dear Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: south florida Posts: 2,494 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,264 Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts Rep Power: 0	words of advice Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

11-19-2010, 07:28 AM	#1
Legendryder Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Queen City, MO Posts: 420 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14 Thanked 969 Times in 261 Posts Rep Power: 7270131	Bob. He makes me laugh everyday. This morning I was sitting at my desk drinking coffee trying to wake up. From behind me I hear these noises. Squeeks and whimpers. I turn my head and the lump in the covers is moving. Bob is chasing something in his sleep. Punk.

11-19-2010, 08:51 AM	#2
scootebaby Timed Out How Do You Identify?: yes dear Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: south florida Posts: 2,494 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,264 Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts Rep Power: 0	saw this on a facebook status---"strap on spelled backwards is no parts..oh the irony" i couldnt help but chuckle

11-19-2010, 11:06 AM	#10
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	An old but gold............................... Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Irish family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle. Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial! Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the Dublin Brewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire. I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling. I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days. Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times. We had a letter from the under-taker. He said if the last payment on your Grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened. Your loving Mum P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope.