Stone Butches

sharonsuburbia · 11-19-2010, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cody

nice heels!

hat was for you ew are you going o be arounf

sharonsuburbia · 11-19-2010, 08:29 AM

i will go to chat

diamondrose · 11-19-2010, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

Yeah, sort of. Of course I get your drift, but I'm always a little uncomfortable when anyone defines me by who I date. I'm a stonefemme because of my own personal boundaries. I'm not defined by those I date. I've known femmes who are far from stone, but find themselves dating stone butches. I'm a stonefemme who has dated butches who are not stone, (insert sad face here).

Well said. I agree and relate to this. I am who I am, a stone femme, because of my personal preferences and limitations.

rlin · 11-19-2010, 08:47 AM

i hope that my posts didnt put any negative energy against being stone...
there is nothing farther from the truth in my head...

i just dont want to embrace this until i know for sure that i am not reacting to some kind of outside influences or levels of comfort... or preferences of a lover even...

i just want to be me... whoever that is... truly...

Legendryder · 11-19-2010, 08:58 AM

We define ourselves my friend. Keep an open mind and find your own comfort zone. It will all work out exactly the way it should.

Glenn · 11-19-2010, 09:35 AM

Yeh..I agree. Be whatever makes you feel happy and what works for you. I like what you said about being Stone with the Tantric thing going on.

DomnNC · 11-19-2010, 10:34 AM

Lordy, I never knew there were so many labels applied to people til I joined here, lol. I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all either. I've always known since I was in the first grade that I was in the wrong body, I am a man, pure and simple, always have been. No, I've not taken T, not thought about it for my own personal reasons, the biggest one being that I would not put my parents thru that, as I am the only, coughs, sex of this being, that they have. I have 3 brothers as well, all younger than me. My family accepts me just fine being the way I am. When my wife passed away I could not have asked for better support from my parents or my brothers and their spouses, they were all just as devastated by her passing as I was as they all loved her tremendously.
Two of my brothers know what a kinky fuck I am and are fine with it and kid me about it. They used to tease my wife when we'd come down to visit to get a reaction out of her and then tell me she deserved a spanking when we got back home, chuckles.
I just don't go for all the labels, I am not defined by a label or what anyone else chooses to attempt to box me into. I define me! I am me, plain and simple. I choose how I will relate to someone in a relationship by their energy dynamic with me.

So Rlin, don't worry about labels, they really mean nothing. It is how you see yourself that matters. It is how you interact with your partner and how ya'll see yourself as a couple that matters, all other opinions be damned.

Random · 11-19-2010, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rlin

i hope that my posts didnt put any negative energy against being stone...
there is nothing farther from the truth in my head...

i just dont want to embrace this until i know for sure that i am not reacting to some kind of outside influences or levels of comfort... or preferences of a lover even...

i just want to be me... whoever that is... truly...

I've kept from chiming in because I'm not butch...and I'm only semi stone... grin... soft stone if you would have it...

But...

A lover once told me that it was about feeling safe... and trust...

He said... The more I trust, the safer I feel, the more clothes come off...

He said... for a woman to get into his boxers, meant that that he trusted and he felt safe exposing the part of him that didn't match his inside view... (He was/is GID)

If he was feeling emotionally unsafe or the trust wasn't there, then the boxers and the a-line were NOT coming off..

If you've had a bad break up recently, an emotional trama that left you feeling unsafe to share yourself...

Something to think about....

I think there are so many reasons for someone being stone...

Energy exchange
Personal Satisfaction
Personal Programning
Protection

Human Sexuality is complicated and so very interesting..

Myself...

The more emotionally compromised I am, the more dominate I am... It's not safe to let anyone in close enough to share myself... So I turn it and make it all about them...

The more dominant I am, the less I want to be touched... I'm not even aware of my body and it's physically distasteful to be touched... It's the mindgasm, the taking my partner to where they only dream of going that blows me away... Touching me actually shuts me down and turns me off.. It's all about them, because it's safer for me that way...

The girl is me is crippled.. driven to the point of insanity...wounded almost beyond repair... Almost is the key word... Slowly... oh so slowly... (with the help of an incredibly patent and stubborn butch) I'm doing the work that will allow her to come to dinner and stay for a while...

Sorry.. Got on a tangent there...

What I'm trying to say is..

Only you know why you are the way you are..

There is not a damn thing wrong with being stone... With deriving pleasure from pleasing your partner... (and I have to say... Tantric? hell yes.. please and thank you...) if you are built that way... (personally, I think it's hot as hell to have someone orgasm from fucking me..)or if you choose to be stone...

But if you are questioning, if it's on your mind... Then maybe it might be something else...

Only you can know.....

BullDog · 11-19-2010, 12:11 PM

As a stone butch I don't see having sex as being pre-defined or there being any less individual variation as to how I would relate to a partner. I don't think having sex with a stone butch is going to be any more or less predictable than having sex with someone who isn't stone butch and there's plenty of room for experimentation, spontaneity and playing off each other's vibes and energy exchange. That's not to say that every person is going to want to have sex with or partner with a stone butch. It's not for everyone.

I do agree with Converse that I don't equate being a Stone Butch with having sex with restrictions. It is much more encompassing than that. For me, it is quite freeing not restricting.

However, I don't think there is one, all encompassing Stone energy or that Stones can just nod at each other and know what one another is talking about- that's something I have seen discussed a number of times in the past, and I don't think that is the case. I think Stone Butch does mean different things to different people. I certainly don't relate at all when people start talking about feminizing touch or relating stone to being male. There are different types of Stone Butch and different personal meanings for it.

girl_dee · 11-19-2010, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

As a stone butch I don't see having sex as being pre-defined or there being any less individual variation as to how I would relate to a partner. I don't think having sex with a stone butch is going to be any more or less predictable than having sex with someone who isn't stone butch and there's plenty of room for experimentation, spontaneity and playing off each other's vibes and energy exchange. That's not to say that every person is going to want to have sex with or partner with a stone butch. It's not for everyone.

I do agree with Converse that I don't equate being a Stone Butch with having sex with restrictions. It is much more encompassing than that. For me, it is quite freeing not restricting.

However, I don't think there is one, all encompassing Stone energy or that Stones can just nod at each other and know what one another is talking about- that's something I have seen discussed a number of times in the past, and I don't think that is the case. I think Stone Butch does mean different things to different people. I certainly don't relate at all when people start talking about feminizing touch or relating stone to being male. There are different types of Stone Butch and different personal meanings for it.

Hi !

Your post jumped out at me.. maybe because of the time, 1:11 of your post (my own thing) and maybe because I have usually liked your input on these subjects.. I've seen the stone threads take a bad turn because not everyone agrees what a stone is. I liked what you said about leaving room for experimentation! I cannot imagine a world, or sex where it is so limited, dependent on a preconceived notion that I would or would not like something.. each person IS different. There are hard limits of course I realize this.. maybe thats why its called *stone* ?

Stone butch (and stone femme) like MANY words in our vocabulary are user defined.. as it should be I feel. I get confused with the whole thing.

11-19-2010, 09:35 AM	#6
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dear ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old G Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,601 Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Yeh..I agree. Be whatever makes you feel happy and what works for you. I like what you said about being Stone with the Tantric thing going on. __________________ 1 Kings 19:12

11-19-2010, 12:11 PM	#9
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,666 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	As a stone butch I don't see having sex as being pre-defined or there being any less individual variation as to how I would relate to a partner. I don't think having sex with a stone butch is going to be any more or less predictable than having sex with someone who isn't stone butch and there's plenty of room for experimentation, spontaneity and playing off each other's vibes and energy exchange. That's not to say that every person is going to want to have sex with or partner with a stone butch. It's not for everyone. I do agree with Converse that I don't equate being a Stone Butch with having sex with restrictions. It is much more encompassing than that. For me, it is quite freeing not restricting. However, I don't think there is one, all encompassing Stone energy or that Stones can just nod at each other and know what one another is talking about- that's something I have seen discussed a number of times in the past, and I don't think that is the case. I think Stone Butch does mean different things to different people. I certainly don't relate at all when people start talking about feminizing touch or relating stone to being male. There are different types of Stone Butch and different personal meanings for it. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

11-19-2010, 08:29 AM	#2
sharonsuburbia Member How Do You Identify?: femme Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ny Posts: 168 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 94 Thanked 105 Times in 43 Posts Rep Power: 465697	i will go to chat

11-19-2010, 08:47 AM	#4
rlin Member How Do You Identify?: human Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: nomad Posts: 712 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,450 Thanked 1,189 Times in 451 Posts Rep Power: 1004849	i hope that my posts didnt put any negative energy against being stone... there is nothing farther from the truth in my head... i just dont want to embrace this until i know for sure that i am not reacting to some kind of outside influences or levels of comfort... or preferences of a lover even... i just want to be me... whoever that is... truly...

11-19-2010, 08:58 AM	#5
Legendryder Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Queen City, MO Posts: 420 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14 Thanked 969 Times in 261 Posts Rep Power: 7270131	We define ourselves my friend. Keep an open mind and find your own comfort zone. It will all work out exactly the way it should.

11-19-2010, 10:34 AM	#7
DomnNC Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Male Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him Relationship Status: Widow Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Permanently Banned 11/15/2011 Posts: 1,223 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,618 Thanked 2,582 Times in 837 Posts Rep Power: 0	Lordy, I never knew there were so many labels applied to people til I joined here, lol. I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all either. I've always known since I was in the first grade that I was in the wrong body, I am a man, pure and simple, always have been. No, I've not taken T, not thought about it for my own personal reasons, the biggest one being that I would not put my parents thru that, as I am the only, coughs, sex of this being, that they have. I have 3 brothers as well, all younger than me. My family accepts me just fine being the way I am. When my wife passed away I could not have asked for better support from my parents or my brothers and their spouses, they were all just as devastated by her passing as I was as they all loved her tremendously. Two of my brothers know what a kinky fuck I am and are fine with it and kid me about it. They used to tease my wife when we'd come down to visit to get a reaction out of her and then tell me she deserved a spanking when we got back home, chuckles. I just don't go for all the labels, I am not defined by a label or what anyone else chooses to attempt to box me into. I define me! I am me, plain and simple. I choose how I will relate to someone in a relationship by their energy dynamic with me. So Rlin, don't worry about labels, they really mean nothing. It is how you see yourself that matters. It is how you interact with your partner and how ya'll see yourself as a couple that matters, all other opinions be damned.