The mortuary thread

[Unndunn]

Originally Posted by Medusa

Unn, Im sorry for your loss. I know that it is difficult and often triggery to read about the things in this conversation when things are so raw for you. I hope you find some peace.

I also know that Andrew wasnt trying to trigger anyone and started this thread from a place of analysis rather than from morbid laughter.

I just happened to come across this thread when I was feeling extremely raw and had a strong reaction to it. I felt like I needed to say something, and I'm glad that I did because I got some really sweet messages and rep comments. My family is Irish. We don't cry, especially at wakes and funerals; we laugh and remember the good times. Most of the time I can do that. This Christmas just seems to be hitting me hard.

My father had mentioned to us a few months before he died that he didn't want "a bunch of phonies crying crocodile tears over my dead body at a wake" and that he wanted to be cremated, so we had him cremated and then had a funeral mass at the Catholic Church my parents belonged to. (He wasn't referring to family members being "phonies" just old coworkers, etc. that would "show up out of the woodwork"). We had a reception in the church hall afterward with tons of food and drink. Afterward, my mother who was still in shock over dad's death (he died in an accident at home, she found his body) said "I want the exact same thing when I die, but please order a little less food-- we had too many leftovers" lol We teased her for quite a while about that, and it always made her smile. When she died in August of this year we made the plans accordingly and orderd a little less food. It was so like my mother to say that and I still smile when I think of it. Their ashes are here in the house that my father built and that's where they'll stay.

My brothers and I have all talked about what we want when we die. I would like to be cremated, and to be late for my own funeral, since so many people over the years have told me that I would be.

Thanks again for being so understanding,
Unn