Being Friends with an Ex - How Long

[Surayna]

I have been able to maintain friendships with all but 2 of my long term ex's in the last 25 years. Most of them are on my facebook page and we keep in touch regularly.

Of the two I do not consider to be friends:
One of them went to prison for abusing my daughter over 18 years ago. While we do not maintain a friendship - we did speak ONCE after he got out of prison and I no longer have any hateful feelings towards him. I could not and will not ever be his friend, though.

The other ex is my most recent break-up (August), and while I don't hold any ill will towards her in any way, I am also not ready to be friends with her. We were together for 3 1/2 years.

For me - friendship requires a certain level of trust, respect and honesty. If those things are not present, I will not consider someone a friend, no matter how close we once were. *shrugs*

Good luck!!

[Softly]

Originally Posted by Surayna

For me - friendship requires a certain level of trust, respect and honesty. If those things are not present, I will not consider someone a friend, no matter how close we once were. *shrugs*

I agree with the above.

I am friends with 2 of my exes, both were long term...one is my ex husband who is like my bff and stuff and other is my first boyfriend ha ha

I think circumstance makes up for a whole lot of if you can be friends or not...a bad break up? I cut the ties. I don't need any negative crap in my life.

mutual break up? maybe we can be friends
If me and my current break up I feel we would be just as close as we are now. just no humping. xoxoxo

[Passionaria]

I can understand how you are feeling Daryn. I just separated from a 7 year relationship this summer. We are really trying to be friends, almost like sliding over. Love and caring was never the issue between us. That has always been there. And continues to be. We lived as friends for years, and decided to be honest about it, finally. We both have kids, and know each others families, and love them. And we don't want to loose that. Sometimes we have to take breaks, and not see each other for a few weeks. But then we will do social things together. It is taking allot of patience, as feelings arise, but then again how many people in this world do I know for sure really love me???? Not allot, not for real. So it is worth it to me.

There are a few people I don't want to know anymore, as well. Usually has to do with betrayal or dishonesty. I don't come back from that one.

xoxoxo Pashi

[Lynn]

I was married for over 20 years. I had hoped to maintain a real friendship with my ex-husband, but, so far, that hasn't happened. We have a decent working relationship, only for the kids. It's been about six years since we separated, but it still seems fresh in many respects. I also realize that the friendship I wanted was never really there in the first place. My brother commented recently that, seeing us together, it doesn't seem different between us now than it did when we were married. I thought that was very telling.

I'm friends with a couple of exes. Some are just out of my life because of time and circumstances, and others, I make a concerted effort to maintain no contact. I don't have a steadfast rule about how to handle relationships after breakups. If there is a chance of continuing a friendship with someone I loved, then I try. People who truly know me at that level are few and far between.

[Inuus]

I personaly cut ties only if trust etc was broken. Not all relationships end badly. Sometimes people grow apart, its not always a knock down nasty drag out fight.
I have an ex I have been friends with for 27 years, we are best friends she is family to me.
But like people said you might not be able to be friends with her. It takes time. It depends how the relationship ended