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02-05-2011, 06:23 PM
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#1 |
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Practically Lives Here
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dee Relationship Status:
Hitched up 
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Take it as the Universe pushing your hand... alcoholics only have one real love. The booze will win everytime. Sorry it has to hurt so bad when this happens.
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02-05-2011, 06:29 PM
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#2 |
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Member
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That One Girl ;) Relationship Status:
Putting My Heart Back Together 
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I've been to a meeting. I've been thinking about going to more, but I want to check out some meetings for myself, first, to help cope with my anxiety.
It's not that I'm hysterical or anything - I really hope y'all don't think I'm just having the fit of a lifetime...  I'm just feeling really... broken. I guess it's a devastation to lose not only my love, but my best friend.Thank you. |
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02-05-2011, 06:32 PM
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#3 |
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Member
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That One Girl ;) Relationship Status:
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Update: Just got a voicemail from her... saying "we're not leaving until June now... blah blah..."
I'm pretty sure she's drunk, she mentioned something about Jose Cuervo... my goodness... but I still have to cut off contact once again. I won't let her do this, and I told her earlier that I needed time away from her to move on. She wants to go back to being friends, but it's not that easy. I need to move on from her as my lover first, and then maybe someday, we can reclaim our friendship. Someday. Damn women...  And, I just realised I spelled "learning" without the N... now I feel stupid, haha. Guess I was pretty distraught =/ |
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02-05-2011, 06:35 PM
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#4 | |
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Member
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She. There should be no doubt! 
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Quote:
WT |
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02-05-2011, 06:38 PM
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#5 |
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Member
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That One Girl ;) Relationship Status:
Putting My Heart Back Together
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I can block her number, but that doesn't prevent her from leaving voicemails. Lame, eh?
ETA: Wait, no, I can't block her number... I need a new phone. |
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02-05-2011, 06:44 PM
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#6 | |
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Member
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Femme, somewhat high maintenance Preferred Pronoun?:
She. There should be no doubt!
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In the ORIGINAL capital of Texas
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Quote:
WT |
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02-05-2011, 06:48 PM
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#7 |
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Member
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That One Girl ;) Relationship Status:
Putting My Heart Back Together
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I have... t-mobile. With my old phone, I was able to at least block numbers - but with this one, I can't even do that much.
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02-05-2011, 07:16 PM
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#8 |
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Infamous Member
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just saying...
"it can't work until we fix our lives."
this statement indicates that you had work to do on yourself. Now is a good time to focus on whatever issues you need to fix. Remove yourself from her issues and get to work on yours....its really easy to distract yourself from fixing yourself when you are always busy trying to fix someone else...
__________________
Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears |
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02-05-2011, 07:25 PM
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#9 |
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Member
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That One Girl ;) Relationship Status:
Putting My Heart Back Together
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Wow, softness, you're totally right... that's what I've been saying... can't be in a relationship when you have inner issues to work on - and I do. I guess she hasn't quite realised that, but I have. I just need to take care of myself.
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02-05-2011, 07:35 PM
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#10 |
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Senior Member
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People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status:
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Also find a MCC church in your area they should also have prayer groups and single groups there who might have gone through with what your dealing with now But I also agree don't cut yourself away from friends and family stay close to them and seek a MCC church.
__________________
Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "...... |
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02-05-2011, 07:46 PM
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#11 |
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Member
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That One Girl ;) Relationship Status:
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Everyone has asked her to leave me alone... she won't give up. It's like, she loves me, but doesn't want to be with me, so tries to hold on... but this time I'm not letting her. I need to grieve and move on, and I can't do it unless she disappears from my life for awhile.
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02-05-2011, 07:49 PM
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#12 | |
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MILLION $$$ PUSSY
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Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles 
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If she keeps harrasing slap a restraining order against her, save texts and emails or voice mails. I think you mentioned she was moving, so this is good so the harrasment stops. Call the cops "Didn't know where else to turn, hope I'm not stepping on anyone's toes here by starting a new thread, but... I'm broken. Today, my ex told me she's moving away with her new girlfriend. Leaving the state. With this girl she's only known for a month and a half. I broke down crying, and she kept asking me to come see her, saying she didn't want to leave like this... but I told her it hurt too much. She said goodbye on the phone, and said she loved me." I went back to look, let her move, if it's not soon I would file a restraining order, that will get the message across.!!!!
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden   Last edited by The_Lady_Snow; 02-05-2011 at 07:51 PM. Reason: research |
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02-05-2011, 08:13 PM
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#13 | |
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Infamous Member
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Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010
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I think it was softness who said that alcoholics can say they love you, but it isn't what you think it is. I believe that. The part I highlighted in red speaks very loudly to me. I had a person in my life for a number of years who was completely toxic. She's not on this site, just for the record. In retrospect, I know that she has some serious issues that she needs to deal with...and to this day I don't know whether it's a substance problem or a mental illness or what... What I do know is that for several years, she dominated my life...all the time telling me that she loved me, needed me, couldn't function without me. I would drop everything for her...leave important work events to take her calls...talk to her for hours every night...listen to craziness you cannot imagine. I cared about her...and I believed it was mutual. Reality is that she cared about herself, and the drama she was living inside...and that was all. We were not lovers...but she also wouldn't leave any space in my life or emotions or psyche for anyone else either. She didn't want to be with me...but she did want me to always be available to her and caught up in her "stuff." When I started putting limits on her, and setting up some boundaries that were healthy for me...she exploded. When I persisted with the boundaries...she suddenly announced that she couldn't deal with having me in her life in any way. We never spoke again. We went from constant conversation that she couldn't live without....to nothing. Just for me, someone who wants to dominate your life and leave you no emotional space to love someone else....but doesn't want to be with you themselves...doesn't really love you. That's control...not love...at least in my view. You've had good advice here...be with friends, go to an Al-Anon meeting (or a bunch of them), talk to a counselor, take some time just for yourself. Block her calls...and if she still texts...change your phone number. I wish you luck. 
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 I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters |
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02-05-2011, 08:23 PM
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#14 | |
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Infamous Member
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yeah..she is going to hold you hostage. We do that, us alcoholics. We need to hold onto you just in case what we left you for doesnt work out. We always have to have a way back in...
you really want this? I can sit here and be your interpreter all night long. I speak Sick real good. .... Its my native language... Quote:
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears |
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02-10-2011, 10:48 PM
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#15 | |
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Senior Member
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I would say good luck and don't respond to her at all and hopefully you'll get through it.
__________________
Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "...... |
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02-05-2011, 07:10 PM
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#16 | |
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Senior Member
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No contact... period Tell her that you need time.. (at least six months at the very least) and if she won't respect that time then block her.. block everything and delete her phone number from you phone... If need be .. burn that bridge and tell her that you will get a restraining order... You need to be oh so selfish right now... What she wants, needs, desires is not your concern... (I know that is hard) She chose her path and you no longer have any responciblilties twards her... I've been where you were... One min I'm thinking I'm getting a new ring for christmas and the next min her new girl friend is moving in... I was broken... That girl was broken beyond repair... But you know what? The woman who came out that hell is a stronger, wiser, happier and healthier person that that girl ever was... Take your time putting yourself back together... Take a brutal look at your self... see what your part you played... The only one who can put yourself back together is you...
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