For the T-Femmes and SOFFAs...

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

I don't think it is fetishizing to ANYone to say "Wow, you turn me on". Flip that around to labeling ones self "t-femme or trans-sensual" and it can become problematic. That implies that the self labeler bases their identity on the dangling carrot of partnering with a transgender person.

Trans guys are NOT shallow, in fact I'd venture to say they are far from shallow. One cannot walk a path for years enduring the pain of the outsides not matching the insides and not have depth. Conversely, I think humans are sensitive to others focusing on a specific trait about them rather than the sum of the parts.

Fascinatingly, I don't see Trans people calling themselves Femme-sensual or Woman-Sensual. So yes, it feels to *me* that it is a from of fetish. Which makes me sad. That is a human being worthy of so much more recognition for the complexities of who they are than to have the bulls-eye be on *Trans*.

This commentary is so NOT about Trans or Butch people but rather about the Femmes that choose to put themselves out there carte blanche as an accessory to Trans. THAT in my opinion devalues transgender people and the infinite gender fluidity that exists (whether anyone wants to admit it or not)

Super,

You know I adore you and think you are so smart and sweet and kind, and very educated. I understand that you are saying that the whole person should be appreciated and not just that they are trans. I agree with that. Same goes for femmes and butches and.... anyone.

Let me tell you how I see it from my *ME* space. As a transguy, I feel on the periphery of the butch-femme community sometimes, like I am allowed to be here but this space is really for butches and femmes, not guys like me. That is how I see it. And that is fine, the site is called "Butch-Femme Planet", not "Butch-Femme-Trans Planet". That said, it appears to me that when a femme, who identifies as lesbian, becomes interested in me, it is in-spite of my being trans. Like she is making an exception in my case. However, when a woman says she is a transsensual femme, it means that I am not an exception, that my trans identity isn't something to be overlooked. And that doesn't feel like a fetish at all. Instead, it feels like someone sees me, all of me, and loves me for everything that I am. That is a wonderful feeling.

Just my .02