what NOT to do in a relationship.......

Jesse · 04-07-2011, 02:09 PM

Don't repeatedly make promises that you have no idea at all how to keep.

Corkey · 04-07-2011, 03:02 PM

From a past experience, and this does not apply to my marriage.

DO NOT get a joint checking account...Ever!

AtLast · 04-07-2011, 03:12 PM

Thinking about how it might be better for me to focus on what to do in a relationship. Trying to stay in the here & now. What applied in the past... is past!!

Wishing the very best to everyone that has taken that leap of faith and are doing the best possible in their relationship. Darn things are a work in progress!

Yup, I'm just wanting to support love and my people (BF Planeteers!!!)...

girl_dee · 04-07-2011, 07:32 PM

Don't get into a relationship with someone who has an addiction (and in denial, unwilling to change or get help), you will never be a priority.

tommyboy66 · 04-07-2011, 08:07 PM

Don't give your girls dog away..
when she's away..
and expect everything to be ok..
when she gets home..
from being away..

Tommyboy66

AtLast · 04-07-2011, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Don't get into a relationship with someone who has an addiction (and in denial, unwilling to change or get help), you will never be a priority.

Since addiction issues are widespread in our society, this comes up a lot. The co-dependency/enabling stuff can really kick in for some of us. You hit it on the head- the addiction is the priority unless someone is willing to deal with it.

I have certainly seen many folks deal with their addictions and be able to have good relationships- but it has to do with them being ready and yes, not in denial.

I can be a "fixer" and have learned to pay attention to this in myself- it has not served me well. I caqn't fix someone else- only me.

Nat · 04-07-2011, 11:22 PM

Don't forget to give and forgive.

Don't forget to pay attention and appreciate.

Don't forget - people come as-is.

Sweet_Amor_Taino · 04-07-2011, 11:44 PM

I will not repeat what others did to you I am me.

Do not be afraid of love when you feel its real and it might take you places you fear.

Do not ask yourself is this real becuase its to good to be, trust it and enjoy it.

Recognized the patterns of behavior that sabotage and destroy a possible beautiful romance/relationship that will bring you happiness.

Do not say its not going to work non of the others did... this one might be the one.

Nat · 04-07-2011, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Since addiction issues are widespread in our society, this comes up a lot. The co-dependency/enabling stuff can really kick in for some of us. You hit it on the head- the addiction is the priority unless someone is willing to deal with it.

I have certainly seen many folks deal with their addictions and be able to have good relationships- but it has to do with them being ready and yes, not in denial.

I can be a "fixer" and have learned to pay attention to this in myself- it has not served me well. I caqn't fix someone else- only me.

I'm a cheese addict. It's a sad life. But thankfully I'm loved. Though I think she might be catching my cheese addiction. Mmmm feta.

Starbuck · 04-12-2011, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nat

I'm a cheese addict. It's a sad life. But thankfully I'm loved. Though I think she might be catching my cheese addiction. Mmmm feta.

Hey I think cheese should be it's own food group!

girl_dee · 04-08-2011, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Since addiction issues are widespread in our society, this comes up a lot. The co-dependency/enabling stuff can really kick in for some of us. You hit it on the head- the addiction is the priority unless someone is willing to deal with it.

I have certainly seen many folks deal with their addictions and be able to have good relationships- but it has to do with them being ready and yes, not in denial.

I can be a "fixer" and have learned to pay attention to this in myself- it has not served me well. I caqn't fix someone else- only me.

THIS is what has got me in trouble way too many times. I want to "fix" people. Then when it doesn't work, and I have to walk away, I am told I am the deserter, leaving someone in their " time of need". (Always a crisis) Yah, well I "need" to be safe and sane. Watching someone you love self destruct is painful. I am willing to be patient, to hold someones hand to get help, but I can't force them to if they are not interested. If the addiction always comes before the partner, and it will, it won't work.

girl_dee · 04-08-2011, 06:46 AM

Don't believe you know someone by their online persona. You don't. Hiding ones icky stuff may not be intentional but it happens. Major deal breakers can be hiding behind the monitor.

04-07-2011, 02:09 PM	#1
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,780 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Don't repeatedly make promises that you have no idea at all how to keep. __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

04-07-2011, 03:02 PM	#2
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	From a past experience, and this does not apply to my marriage. DO NOT get a joint checking account...Ever! __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

04-07-2011, 08:07 PM	#5
tommyboy66 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Tom-Boy/Soft-Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Soft-Butch/Tom-Boy & All Woman..! Relationship Status: Single & looking Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 48 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52 Thanked 65 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 122446	Don't.. Don't give your girls dog away.. when she's away.. and expect everything to be ok.. when she gets home.. from being away.. Tommyboy66

04-07-2011, 11:22 PM	#7
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender (DID System) Preferred Pronoun?: he/him or alter-specific Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Central TX Posts: 3,537 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,047 Thanked 13,963 Times in 2,589 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Don't forget to give and forgive. Don't forget to pay attention and appreciate. Don't forget - people come as-is. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

04-07-2011, 11:44 PM	#8
Sweet_Amor_Taino Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: he/him Relationship Status: Exclusively dating, Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Austin Tx Posts: 538 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 388 Thanked 853 Times in 298 Posts Rep Power: 4397590	Do not !! I will not repeat what others did to you I am me. Do not be afraid of love when you feel its real and it might take you places you fear. Do not ask yourself is this real becuase its to good to be, trust it and enjoy it. Recognized the patterns of behavior that sabotage and destroy a possible beautiful romance/relationship that will bring you happiness. Do not say its not going to work non of the others did... this one might be the one. __________________ When we are aware that each moment of each day and each step we take,is truly mystical and full of wonder,we will live our lives with greater thought and care, we will also respect and appreciate This moment.

04-07-2011, 03:12 PM	#3
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Thinking about how it might be better for me to focus on what *to do* in a relationship. Trying to stay in the here & now. What applied in the past... is past!! Wishing the very best to everyone that has taken that leap of faith and are doing the best possible in their relationship. Darn things are a work in progress! Yup, I'm just wanting to support love and my people (BF Planeteers!!!)...

04-07-2011, 07:32 PM	#4
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,828 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Don't get into a relationship with someone who has an addiction (and in denial, unwilling to change or get help), you will never be a priority.

04-08-2011, 06:46 AM	#12
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,828 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Don't believe you know someone by their online persona. You don't. Hiding ones icky stuff may not be intentional but it happens. Major deal breakers can be hiding behind the monitor.