What does the "B-F Dynamic" mean to you?

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Hi straps!

I think so too.

I'm really thinking about this. of course I can't answer for anyone else... only me and my expereinces.

every relationship, including butch-butch, femme-femme, non-ID-trans, kitchensink-genderqueer, is going to have a type of ying/yang, back-forth, tidal, mixing and moving of "energies."

I still am of the opinion that it's because of what/whom I'm attracted to, not the actual relationship dance, that's the distinction.

answer something for me straps... why do the femme-femme friends of yours "not get" your relationship? what's "not to get?" it's a relationship between people who care about each other.

Are they questioning your attractions? what exactly are they not "getting." I have plenty of non-butch-femme couple friends and it's not that they "don't get it" in that they don't understand my relationships... it's that they "don't give a shit" to most of a degree what my relationships are and that they "don't get" why I want only one kind (to them) partner. they don't care mind you, it's just not within their realm of expereince and they don't care enough to ask me about it - mostly.

when explaining it, it hasn't been me explaining the "butch-femme dynamic" as I don't think it's a universal, so why bother. However, it *has* been me explaining that my primary attraction is for X with a choice of varients in 1 through 600 different possibilites.

To be super honest, the only people I've run into in the past 7 years interested in the whys of butch-femme or even a particular ID has beeen those within the group in question.

Or newly out/very young

what exactly did they say to you that made you feel you wanted to explain your relationship dynamics with your girlfriends to them? (not an attack, just a wonder/sincere curiosity)

Nice to see you!!

HB...

Well my friends and I are a very close group and they are learning along with me learning from them. For instance, in the last 6 months I've taken more of my friends "Shopping" to help their sex life with their partners. I love it, it's fun for me to teach my friends about the "Adult Toy" world, mainly "strap-ons." It's like a new world for them. We are very open about sex, relationships and life. We talk about things that my guess is some people wouldn't touch. So when they ask me what it is about the dynamic that makes it so wonderful for me, it's like I freeze and can't come up with the words.

Like how do you go about explaining to someone new that you'd like to date what your preferences are in sex, in life, in a relationship? Those are some questions that come up.

Sorry it's hard for me to express myself. Sometimes so many things come into my head and I can't always scrabble them to make it come out the way I need it to. (things I'm working) *smile*