PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Rook]

After much thought, I suppose I could contribute here

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I have been requested to start a thread on Trauma survival and recovery.

I looked up symptoms of PTSD as a place to start.

Symptoms of PTSD can include:

• Hypervigilance and scanning {Check}
• Elevated startle response {check, especially while Im asleep and someone wakes me abruptly}
• Blunted affect, psychic numbing {Check, although this doesnt happen much unless Im very stressed}
• Aggressive, controlling behavior (a high degree of insistence on getting your way) {Checkcheck...i'm really familiar to lame come-backs like 'this aint burger king, u cant always have it your way'}
• Interruption of memory and concentration {Check}
• Depression {Check}
• Generalized anxiety
• Violent eruptions of rage {check}
• Substance abuse
• Intrusive recall -- different from normal memory in that it brings with it stress and anxiety {Definitely check}
• Dissociative experiences, including dissociative flashbacks {Check}
• Insomnia {Check}
• Suicidal ideation {Check}
• Survivor guilt {Check}

Thoughts?

w/o getting into details, I'm in therapy, and medication for a few of my "issues"..
i've already tried anger management group therapy 3 times, i failed horridly but mostly because I simply didnt attend or slept through it [ they have a strange time for it in my area, saturdays/thursdays at 9 am...], the one time i showed "promise" was when i got into a so-called lively debate with a lady who was having a bad week with her kids.I'm young, and she 'transferred' that conflict on my opinion, I wasn't too impressed with the therapy, and most of those there were court-ordered and had to attend for some certification..-shrug-
If I dont take the 3 different sleep aid pills, I can easily go 48 hrs w/o sleep, I would generally stay up and about until my body pretty much collapsed from exhaustion...
I have to continuously be careful with other prescription meds because if something's not in order, I quickly get branded as suicidal, or purposely careless...
I have a so-called swiss cheese memory..And yet sometimes, the most subtle issue, topic or scent can trigger a hellacious flashback
And yes, I have days where I'm in such a state I refuse to do anything, not even budge from my bed..
Thankfully I have people around me that care enough to keep an eye on me during those times.
Oftentimes, whether I like it or not, if the individual is contrary with me, they usually wind up on a permanent shitlist
Im currently trying to convince myself to attend anonymous survivor group...
The rest, I'll skip...for now..