Butches Cruel Joke?? *The Change*

[Just_G]

Originally Posted by Strappie

Dude... jesus if this doesn't get in check we may be crying all the way to Little Rock... God help me.. it's NOT going to be like last year!! That was the start of it... and it will be the END of it!!

Thanks buddy I can always count on you!!

It is hard to relate to certain things as a butch in a female sense.

Cheech is going to wonder what the hell is going on...unless of course, he is traveling with the devil too! Do you have kleenex in your car or shall I go to Costco and buy a case?!

[sharkchomp]

Yeah I hear ya Strappie. I'm male id'ed so it's certainly a head trip. I have found myself looking at situations differently than I used to - and damn I hope this passes. I used to see a situation and this is this and that is that, attack it, fix it, whatever. But I've noticed in the last year or so that I'm reacting to things on a more emotional level. Then again this past year has been very very stressful for me. So, shrug, I dunno. Maybe it's my way of handling the stress - or my inability or my hormones going crazy. What is killing me is the damned hot flashes. I'll be at work - not exerting myself and BAM I'm sweating. Is it hot in there or is it a hot flash?????? And at night, I'm sweating, throwing covers off like it's Christmas morning and then I'm freezing! The good thing is my monthly's are almost gone - and that is a realllllly good thing!

Hang in there yall!
~~~shark~~~~~~~

[Toughy]

It's a perfectly natural thing to happen. All my butch friends and I have talked about and still talk about it with great humor. None of us find it embarrassing or any kind of specially cruel joke for butches. One of my favorite conversations occurred outside The Stud one evening. over a cigarette. 4 of us stone cold passing butches (the old terminology) were talking about menopause. We said all the words and were all waiting for the day it all ends. War stories about dripping wet sheets, which movies made us cry the most, etc went on for about 20 or so minutes. I have talked about it with my femme friends who are experiencing the same things.

I haven't bleed in almost 30 years, had my cervix & uterus removed but they left my fine healthy ovaries. So about 10 years ago, the ovaries did their natural slowdown and those wonderful symptoms appeared.

I cried at stupid commercials on TV and steamed up car windows with hot flashes. The crying slowed down, but the hot flashes were like 50 a day and sleeping with me was like being in a steamy jungle. The hot flashes did not stop until I completely permanently stopped drinking alcohol....it took about a month. In the last couple of three years I might have had 3 or four hot flashes.

I turned 59 in June and now that menopause is over.....well that makes me a crone. Another phase in my born butch woman life.

[citybutch]

I feel so incredibly blessed...

I am post-menopausal... stopped about 5-6 years ago. I take a thyroid medication because my thyroid shut down at the time I was per-menopausal. The expected weight gain occurred, I get some hot flashes but not too many, cry no more than I ever have in the past and it is a lot easier to control (OK, watched For My Wife yesterday and there was NO controlling those tears!), have had NO mood swings (in fact, I am more even tempered than I ever have been in my life), and have a 2+ on my bone density.

When I had periods they were horrible, I was chronically anemic, had seriously bad endometriosis (several surgeries), horrific mood swings, periods that would last for WEEKS and not days, pain that was unconsolable... just a life of pure agony... I am so grateful to have gone through menopause naturally...

Remember, our bodies do not stop producing hormones at menopause... it just produces different kinds of hormones (so says Dr. Susan Love)...

Good luck!

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by Just_G

Cheech is going to wonder what the hell is going on...unless of course, he is traveling with the devil too! Do you have kleenex in your car or shall I go to Costco and buy a case?!

Dude I think the case at Costco is in order! lol Na hopefully they can cure me or at least get it in check by then.. I'm praying!!

[AtLast]

I couldn't use any hormones while going through menopause (breast cancer risk too high), but my experience with menopause beat the hell out of perimenopause! I di find soy helpful for night sweats and headaches- although the literature about soy is inconclusive at best.

I do not miss periods at all- and it has been so long, I usually have a "Oh, yes, women have those" when I date someone that is still having periods. I have been yelled at more than once to "Please keep some supplies around just in case" more than once!

I never felt any dissonance at all with being butch and going through menopause. None.

[Greyson]

Strappie, I have much empathy for you. I started the monthly thing about 14 months after my twin sister started hers. I did not start until I was 16 years old. I do remember being so embarassed going through the check out stand when I was a very young adult. I was very uncomfortable talking about it with anyone. Even with my twin sister.

When I was about 30 years old I tried to have a hystorectomy because I was just tired of it. At the time I could not find a doctor that would give me a hystorectomy because I was still of child bearing age. Although I was very open about sexuality with everyone and I knew I never had any yearning nor intention to bare a child. I wanted a child but I never imagined I would be pregnant. Anyway....

I did finally get a hystorectomy in my 40's in preparation for transition. Menopause was quick for me. I did have the emotional swings, and hot flashes. However at the time I lived by myself. In retrospect, living alone was a fortunate circumstance. I did not take any hormones and did not start taking T until about 4 years after the hystorectomy. I have never regretted the end of the monthly thing.

For me part of my embarrassment about that time of the month had nothing to do with my gender or sexual identity. I just have always been a little shy about my body. That is another topic.

Good luck to you Strappie. Go find yourself a doctor you feel comfortable with. FYI, I still get teary eyed watching "chick flicks."

[Galahad]

Hot flashes and binding at work. In the summer.

[RavynTuqiri]

Well so glad I am not alone....I'm in the perimenopause stage and the additional bouts of crying (at Hallmark commercials no less) are to no end annoying. The additional anxiety isn't wanted either....getting ribbed for crying at the stupidest things when you have been inherently known as the non crier all your life is equally frustrating.

And yes I know all women go through this but it is quite similar to being that tomboy and hitting puberty and being quite upset I wasn't going through puberty like the other boys in the neighborhood.

It's like my body is betraying the inner boi inside of me and I am helpless to control it...to will it to be what I want it to be....

Thanks for sharing that....it's nice to know there are others who feel the same way I do and can relate

[Jess]

IF...I am pari- or full onset menopause ( pooey pooey bad word yuck), then I am certainly a poster child for every friggen symptom there is.
Sweaty sweaty nights following days chock full of more sweat and mind blowing mood swings, either grumpy as hell ( for no apparent reason) or tearing up over some damned country song or BOTH ( usually when the Humane Society/ SPCA commercials come on and make me hate Celine Dion all over again). Fatigue/ lack of focus/ raging hunger or complete lack of appetite... It's all just crazy making! dammit.

I have never been fond of having monthly cycles ( other than they kept me aware of moon phases) and yes, they always felt like some sort of very unfunny joke, as I knew I would never have children, so I never saw the whole point. That said, I was never one to be too thrilled to go to a GYN, so it was with MUCH encouragement ( read: THREATS) that I finally went at 40ish ( she'll remind me of exactly how old I was) to get a pap and baseline mammo. I am overdue and am looking for someone here (we only moved three years ago, that's not too bad, eh?).

I totally dig Medusa's idea of the GYN trip en masse at Little Rock! Now THAT is some community bonding! Fuckabuncha goin fishin! Get all the butches lined up with a good ole southern pap smear! Ok, I may be pushin it a tad... I do, in all seriousness hope we are all taking care of our health needs, no matter how we view ourselves in our minds eye or in our hearts, we still have junk down there that needs taking care of. I do not only myself a disservice by ignoring it, I do a disservice to my wife as well. I need to be here for her in the best health I can be.

Good luck everyone!

[Turtle]

AND a good friend of mine went to the OB-GYN and he said " How are you?" and she burst into tears....

and he said "Oh, we should be talking about hormones."

He fixed her right up, she could function again, and a year or two later she weened of of them and things have been great.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

I di find soy helpful for night sweats and headaches- although the literature about soy is inconclusive at best.

Just saw this a few minutes ago on CNN's page...

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/08/08...hes/index.html

[Jett]

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time with it Strappie, just remember man, crying isn't a masculine or feminine thing... it's a human thing. But yeah it can make you feel like a train wreck- I had a radical hysterectomy (the works, pistachios and all) in my early 20's and days I was freakin hot mess dawn to dark... and then it got better... and better.

Hang in there bud... in time it passes... your friends will understand, if they don't screw em' ... seriously... menopause is also a butch experience...

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Thinker

Just saw this a few minutes ago on CNN's page...

http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/08/08...hes/index.html

Yup, since I went through menopause, the debate about soy has been studied further. Looks like newer info just doesn't support what I relied on 10-12 years ago as possibly being helpful. This reminds me of the glucose mine controversy and joint support. Problem is- there is a billion dollar industry in supplements!

Goes to show that it is important to read/research things. It gets confusing with differing results as well as what a physician might recommend. Then there is our individual differences.

I sure do understand Strap pie’s feelings about how difficult the emotional roller-coaster feels on top of changes in our bodies. I had horrible cluster headaches. Made me really empathize with people that have dealt with migraines throughout their lives. but, mine subsided and really were only around for about 18 months).

Strappie- do you have a good gynecologist that you feel comfortable talking with? Also, seeing an endocrinologist might be in order if it gets really bad (outside of what is "normal" for menopausal women).

I am glad you started this thread- many butches need to be able to talk about this with each other.

[Strappie]

Hey Guys and gals...

Thanks for all your support!! I do want to let you know I made an appointment. Going in to get an oil change!! lol It's been about 8 yrs so it's high time to get an over haul and hopefully get these emotions in check.

I do hope that you all at least go to the doctor, it's important! I hope you take it serious and get yourself checked also!!

Thanks again for the encouragement!

[Ryobi]

Strappie I'm happy you're going to the Dr. Peace to you on this unwanted journey.

For me:

Much like Daywalker, I don't think of my given body as a means to determine or declare my gender. I don't think I could ever change my belief in that, I do however, think that very thing lends a little bit to the frustration I have with it. (self imposed rock and a hard place? lol)

I also agree that SOME butches (no matter how they ID), TG butches and FtM's have great difficulties in dealing with what is a "woman thing". (before anyone jumps on me for saying "woman thing", please point me to a bio male that gets a period or goes through menopause.) I can have all the understanding, compassion, and offer support to a friend, partner, etc that is going through this. For me to have to deal with it personally, is quite a different story. That's where the mind fuck comes in, forced compliance. I loathe forced compliance in any sense, in any aspect of my life. To HAVE TO comply with my body for reasons of having a period or going through all the crap menopause has to offer, feels to me like betrayal deluxe.

I think it's important for people who have similar feeling to this, talk with eachother. It is hard to find people that understand the feelings. Most other people I have tried to talk to about this, have either laughed at me or said something to the effect of "EVERY woman goes through it. What makes you special?" To me those statements are stifling. And for my feelings to be laughed at, causes an abrupt end to most conversation after that.

Crying jags, aren't they fun? I like to think of it as crying like a baby. Often times a baby cries for no apparent reason. No matter what you do, they cry and cry and cry. Until, they stop. All seems right in their world. I hope adults have more awareness to the folks around them and the affects this "event" can have on others. (more awareness than a baby, anyway.) After a few days of being a weepy hot flash mess, when all is right in my world again, I like to make sure I'm right in my loved ones' world again too, if necessary.

I wish peace to everyone going through this bit of joy in their life, especially the ones that feel fucked with.

(and btw, *I* am what makes me special.)