Reclaiming Lesbian Pride

[ScandalAndy]

I read about these communities but haven't experienced one. While I was in college a group of butches who were seniors did attempt to recreate that by having Sunday potluck dinners and inviting all us young bucks over. Unfortunately they were all fighting over the same femme, who took me aside and patiently explained to me that while i looked great in drag, I wasn't actually a butch. It fell apart after a while because their libido got in the way of the drive for community, and i ended up just as lost and confused as when I got there, albeit with a new wardrobe.


Why don't these things exist anymore? Is this online community the only place where I can find something like that? Am I supposed to be mentoring the young queers? Who is going to mentor me? I have lots of questions!

Originally Posted by dreadgeek

This was what I was thinking of when I wrote that post. There was once a time when an older butch would feel comfortable taking a younger butch under her wing and saying "listen to me, young pup, you got the swagger, you got the attitude, you got the recognition nod down pat but there's more to being a butch than just that. I've been around the block so stick with me, kid, because someone has to give you this teaching and those of us in the life are the only ones who give enough of a damn about you to do it". I would like to see us return to that idea.

When I first came out, there was a group of women who had a D&D group that met every Friday. For three years, we got together, broke bread and rolled dice and generally geeked out. Those women taught me so much. When I needed a shoulder and advice, one of them was there for me. When I needed a kick in the ass, one of them was there for that as well. They routinely said things to me that would, today, have them excoriated for being ---ist or --phobic. Yet, that wasn't the place they were operating out of. They were operating out of a sense of love, tenderness and a sense that as older, wiser lesbians they had a responsibility to help me find my way in the world as an adult, queer woman.

To me, that WAS community and it was as strong a sense of community as I'd had sense leaving home.

Cheers
Aj