Jokes and things that made you laugh.

deb_U_taunt · 08-30-2011, 04:21 PM

A teacher gave her kids lifesavers. The children began to identify the flavors by the colors - red/cherry, yellow/lemon, green/lime, orange.. Finally the teacher gave them all Honey lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste. She said, "I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father." One little girl looked up in horror, spat her lifesaver out and yelled, "Oh my God, they're assholes!" The teacher had to leave the room.

JoSchmooze · 08-30-2011, 05:04 PM

Watching The Closer last night and seeing Capt Rader
fire off her bean bag shotgun at a suspect.....
And then complaining that even though she got the guy
right between the eyes, saying it was a lucky shot...
"the recoil on these things are atrocious"!!

I almost fell outta my recliner I was laughing so hard!

Miss Scarlett · 08-30-2011, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoSchmooze

Watching The Closer last night and seeing Capt Rader
fire off her bean bag shotgun at a suspect.....
And then complaining that even though she got the guy
right between the eyes, saying it was a lucky shot...
"the recoil on these things are atrocious"!!

I almost fell outta my recliner I was laughing so hard!

OMG...me too! And the deadpan way she delivered that line too!

bigbutchmistie · 08-30-2011, 07:43 PM

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and preceded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either

Janstevie · 09-01-2011, 06:48 AM

Is a balanced diet a cake in each hand?

tapu · 09-01-2011, 06:50 AM

Saw a shirt last night at Newbury Comics that said:

I like you.
You die last.

I Need That Shirt.

Tawse · 09-01-2011, 07:21 AM

someone posted this as a fb status... made me lol for real:

Repost This If Someone Is Alive Today Because You Can't Afford A Hitman!

08-30-2011, 05:04 PM	#2
JoSchmooze Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He, hym, mister or "sir", like I get called by strangers! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Right here, surrounded by technology Posts: 1,830 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 19,267 Thanked 10,989 Times in 1,627 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	*Watching The Closer last night and seeing Capt Rader* *fire off her bean bag shotgun at a suspect.....* *And then complaining that even though she got the guy* *right between the eyes, saying it was a lucky shot...* *"the recoil on these things are atrocious"!!* *I almost fell outta my recliner I was laughing so hard!* __________________ *Live your life in such a way that* *when your feet hit the floor* *in the morning,* *Satan shudders and* *says, "Oh God, he's up!"*

09-01-2011, 06:50 AM	#6
tapu Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Understated butch. Preferred Pronoun?: I Relationship Status: Party of One Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Maine Posts: 1,654 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,324 Thanked 3,115 Times in 1,103 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Saw a shirt last night at Newbury Comics that said: I like you. You die last. I Need That Shirt. __________________ Really? That's not funny to you?

08-30-2011, 04:21 PM	#1
deb_U_taunt Senior Member How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: May 2011 Location: ....... Posts: 1,748 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,324 Thanked 5,255 Times in 1,361 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	A teacher gave her kids lifesavers. The children began to identify the flavors by the colors - red/cherry, yellow/lemon, green/lime, orange.. Finally the teacher gave them all Honey lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste. She said, "I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father." One little girl looked up in horror, spat her lifesaver out and yelled, "Oh my God, they're assholes!" The teacher had to leave the room.

08-30-2011, 07:43 PM	#4
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and preceded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either

09-01-2011, 06:48 AM	#5
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Is a balanced diet a cake in each hand?

09-01-2011, 07:21 AM	#7
Tawse Member How Do You Identify?: TG Gender Queer Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Atlanta Posts: 730 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,973 Thanked 2,733 Times in 642 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	someone posted this as a fb status... made me lol for real: Repost This If Someone Is Alive Today Because You Can't Afford A Hitman!