Bad Bar Lines and "Bodice Rippers"

[clay]

Way back in early...ahemmmm...70's..when I first came out...I read some book...thought it would educate me...so I would be so suave when I met a lady. So...anyway, I read the book (don't remember name) and geared up for my first foray into the world of lesbians and bars. Well I seated myself at the bar...got a beverage, and was perusing the ladies all around me. I spotted one that caught my eye...proceeded to do the "recommended gestures" and such..she just kept looking at me, smiling every so often..and I am like "what the heck" am I doing something wrong? I sat and contemplated what to do or not do...when she came over and sat down beside me. I introduced myself, ordered her a beverage. I smoked then, so when I took a cigarette out and went to light it, SHE picked up my lighter, and I held the said ciggie to my mouth..and waited..waited..and I looked at her..she stared at me..and said Hold your hand like this..I did..and she used her index finger to scratch inside my cupped hand..I am like..WTH? Finally after, I think ten eons or so..she said darling, I want to go home and fuck with you...don't you know when a lady scratches the inside of your palm like that, what she wants? I by now, was fifteen shades of crimson and am sure steam was coming out of my young and naive ears....I was so dumbstruck...and BTW...my "gesture" I read about and held as gospel? Tug your left earlobe and smile with a wink at the lady you want...I still laugh so hard at myself..to this day...talk about naivete'...lol PS I have never, ever used a "pickup" line for a lady. It is my Southern culture...and I just do not like them, and will NOT use them...it is just who I am...my killer blue eyes work just fine..and my dimpled smile...<wink>