Ask a trans person!

bonne-maman · 11-12-2009, 06:58 PM

Adding on to the experience of wondering if one has to give up ones queer or lesbian card if one is going to date and love people who are guys, transitioned physically, or not.

I am just the most lesbianey-lesbian that you can shake a stick at. I am a big ol' lesbian, and have been for 30 years (femme IDed for about 27 yrs).

I did confront what e and bit are referring to when I dated a trans guy for a short while. I was stopped dead in my tracks with shock when I realized that dating a guy would mean, well, I couldn't figger out what it would mean. After a lot of thought, (and this guy hooked me up with a friend who is long-time lesbian partnered with a trans-guy to talk to), I came to the same place that e, bit and Mr. Vent have come to, that my identity was (of course) based on ME, and my history, culture, etc, etc. It was not based on the gender of the person I was dating/loving. This seemed so odd, that I could be a guy-dating lesbian, but, it was just, for real. Gender is complicated, so everything that springs from it is complicated too.

Then I got all happy because I had another whole segment of the population to potentially date.

11-12-2009, 06:58 PM	#1
bonne-maman Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: All right SPA. I am single. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 147 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39 Thanked 158 Times in 61 Posts Rep Power: 2494	Adding on to the experience of wondering if one has to give up ones queer or lesbian card if one is going to date and love people who are guys, transitioned physically, or not. I am just the most lesbianey-lesbian that you can shake a stick at. I am a big ol' lesbian, and have been for 30 years (femme IDed for about 27 yrs). I did confront what e and bit are referring to when I dated a trans guy for a short while. I was stopped dead in my tracks with shock when I realized that dating a guy would mean, well, I couldn't figger out what it would mean. After a lot of thought, (and this guy hooked me up with a friend who is long-time lesbian partnered with a trans-guy to talk to), I came to the same place that e, bit and Mr. Vent have come to, that my identity was (of course) based on ME, and my history, culture, etc, etc. It was not based on the gender of the person I was dating/loving. This seemed so odd, that I could be a guy-dating lesbian, but, it was just, for real. Gender is complicated, so everything that springs from it is complicated too. Then I got all happy because I had another whole segment of the population to potentially date.