Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

You got some major red flags popping up all over your post:

Wanton is mentally unstable with some issues with depression.

I'll be honest with you, I get people have issues but for *me* as a Master I don't want your issues, I would certainly help out and make sure proper medical care was sought out.

hy has hys own perception and lately keeps changing our relationship

This for me as a Master is NOT acceptable, the person who serves me does not change the relationship I do. Hence why I am in Femme Led relationships perhaps you guys need to talk about his need to keep changing it.

Hy has also been playing these little passive aggressive games

Yeah, this one would get you a kick to the curb first time

the days hy chooses to be submissive towards me hy does.

Once again he is doing the choosing? As a Goddess shouldn't you be the chooser? I'm not being sarcastic I am being 100% honest woman to woman Femme to Femme Domina to Domina, why is this person choosing?

It's a bit of a roller coaster

No fun.

would say hy is responsible for the bulk of it.

That screams volumes that he.hy gotta go

get shit faced to the point where hy couldn't even talk to me. I didn't enjoy being around hym like that


This I am like I partake in the green and I will be honest I can't imagine smokin' to the point of the above statement. No one likes sloppy.


The beauty of these relationships is, we make the calls period, if it's not working we gently escort the person who thought they could occupy the space out the door because frankly who needs that? My mind can not wrap around at the thought continuing in an exchange where my needs are not met period. It's a good idea you did not allow he.hy to come over and taint your space with all this negative interaction and I do hope you take the time to think if you want to continue with the toxicity, I wish you much luck!

all noted.

I guess the point I was also making is that my life is all about negotiation at the same time I have expectations that must be met. Because we were friends with benefits I was more flexible. Normally I am not. Mental illness doesn't always scare me away. I think we're all crazy. I'm also pretty experienced when it comes to dealing with complex emotional issues and scenes within sexual alternatives. There is just a point where my can gets full and I drop you.

I don't expect everything to be perfect. In fact I live in a world that is tolerant of choices, however I am looking to get my needs met. Right now the most wonderful thing that could happen to me, something that would be the icing on the cake would be a sweet boi who would serve me at ANY capacity I see fit. One who needs me as much as I need her/hym

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Sachita

all noted.

I guess the point I was also making is that my life is all about negotiation at the same time I have expectations that must be met. Because we were friends with benefits I was more flexible. Normally I am not. Mental illness doesn't always scare me away. I think we're all crazy. I'm also pretty experienced when it comes to dealing with complex emotional issues and scenes within sexual alternatives. There is just a point where my can gets full and I drop you.


We all come with some emotional baggage, and maybe cause I tend to be a micromanager I feel that one's baggage should be kept neatly in the over head compartment and dealt with in a manner it's not going to constantly be tripping everyone around your life. There's processing time and talk about it time and then there's just time for service, these things can NOT be the over all delegating factors in the exchange cause then honestly no one is getting their needs met if someone doesn't have it together enough to function. That's the key word for *me* can you function, because frankly if you can't no understanding, training, is gonna be able to get a grip of someone's emotional mental roller coaster ride.. Even if our cans are full as the Leads in these types of relationships *we* have to have our shit together and not lead them into our emotional, mental rides it's unfair to them, at that point one is better off alone till one can handle the full time care of a boy.boi.girl it's only fair.

I don't expect everything to be perfect. In fact I live in a world that is tolerant of choices, however I am looking to get my needs met. Right now the most wonderful thing that could happen to me, something that would be the icing on the cake would be a sweet boi who would serve me at ANY capacity I see fit. One who needs me as much as I need her/hym

Then you are going to have to specifically put that out there into the Universe and cultivate those thoughts, wants and desires to the Universe. I would be honest with the boi.boy you are dealing with now and release him.hym of all duties since hy.he is not the one who is goign to do that, it's an emotional, physical, mental yo-yo for hym.him and it could be one more trigger to his depression and need to get sloppy high. I'd seperate myself from him for 30 days and revisit to see if you could have a friendship, that's just me though and not something that you should do if you don't want or you like how things are going.

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Then you are going to have to specifically put that out there into the Universe and cultivate those thoughts, wants and desires to the Universe. I would be honest with the boi.boy you are dealing with now and release him.hym of all duties since hy.he is not the one who is goign to do that, it's an emotional, physical, mental yo-yo for hym.him and it could be one more trigger to his depression and need to get sloppy high. I'd seperate myself from him for 30 days and revisit to see if you could have a friendship, that's just me though and not something that you should do if you don't want or you like how things are going.

Yes, exactly. This has been an issue for some time. Today, this morning, I just had enough. At a later date perhaps we can once again be friends but I won't revisit the D/s relationship with hym again.

I had exchanged a few emails with a boi that lives in my state. She's an experienced butch bottom, or so she says. I can normally get a good feel of things by talking. I actually did go log on to collarme, haven't been in in a while and there was a recent email in my inbox. I replied back with my phone number and we talked. In fact we'll meet this weekend. Nothing big, just a casual introduction. I sense that she is looking for a serious one on one with a mistress. I was forthright in that I am just not sure what I'm looking for. With all the drama the past few months I just may slip into fun mode and raise a little hell. lol

So casual and lighthearted would be great for me now. In fact if I had someone to watch the farm and animals I'd have to fly to the reunion and show 'em how it's done. (said in my best southern accent!)

I'd really love some more dialogue on this topic. I feel that women like us are very misunderstood and this makes it hard for people to approach us.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I don't really have issues with approach outside of this forum it's understood what I want and look for when I am out and about everyday. I think the whole none approachable is a stigma that comes from sexism because there are people that can't handle a Femme/Woman/Female Power source, I figure that shit is on them, I'm the sweetest person if I feel that the intent is good or that you have desire to make some form of connection and commitment to the relationship be it family, friend, or service person. Good luck with the newbie this weekend and good luck over all finding your hearts desire.

It's funny though that a Masculine/Male/Butch led relationship is rarely question and certainly is not stamped with that whole oh hy.she.he is so unaproachable..