Stone Butches

[Converse]

Attraction is an interesting thing, particularly instant attraction. It’s that time when hidden (often even to ourselves) yearnings surface and our being goes into alert mode without any involvement from our brain.

What I always find curious is that occasionally when time passes is that intellect and social pressures can often drive us to want to change the object of our initial attraction. Like the partner for example who begins to critique their other as being too masculine or too feminine – and for the sake of the relationship the other attempts to modify and stifle.

When there is an attraction and we enjoy all that the person is and at the same time feel confident in our assumption that the “stone part” is something that will change over time, we do so because we have reduced the essence of being Stone to simply being about sexual acts. Like a Deliahs request to have Samson visit the barber, much more can be lost in that request than simply the mane of hair.

I understand the analogy raised about sexual bottoms and it may or may not be relevant in the context of sexual encounters with Stone tops, but in my mind topping/bottoming is a whole other conversation that can easily be had without the word stone being used. I’m sure I’m not the only Stone Butch who has enjoyed “encounters” with femmes who have not identified as stone, and yes D/s and Top/bottom dynamics may all be part of the equation but they can easily exist outside of a Stone paradigm.

When talking about a Stone paradigm I’m referring to: A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them – this is what one Stone can offer another, it doesn’t require an explanation- it simply is, and the practices in the bedroom are merely a part of that continuum.