5 things you never wanted to know about me.

[Semantics]

1. People who habitually use a lot of exclamation points in a row make me feel nervous, even through a computer screen. I feel like if I were close to them at that very moment they might be yelling or flailing their arms around.

2. I have a phobia about getting a paper cut in my eye and my friends like to irritate me by making paper airplanes while we're sitting in restaurants.

3. I'm not out at my job because one of the judges is notoriously biased against homosexuals and I don't want it to affect my clients. I resent feeling trapped in the closet by a puritanical old asshole so I always wear very high heels on days when I'm assigned to his courtroom because he's also quite short and towering over him makes me feel authoritative.

4. Sometimes I throw up on airplanes. It always happens when we're taking off so I can't do it in the privacy of the bathroom. The first time it happened I was fifteen and flying to Florida with friends and I didn't know what to do so I vomited down the front of my shirt. It's been almost twenty years since that first incident and a 24 hour fast and Dramamine before flying do wonders.

5. I get regular manicures, which is mostly a waste, because when I'm not working I tend to dress like a twelve year old boy. A twelve year old boy on his way to the skate park with a french manicure and a chignon.

[Honey]

1. I keep my vibrators in the bathroom: sometimes if i have a house full of
company, I will excuse myself to the bath rm and buzz just cuz I'm bored
not necessarily horny

2. If I am cooking, and accidentally flip a burger or dog or whatever to the
floor, I will serve it to somebody else


3. Once in a dark crowded restaurant I slid my hand up the waitress skirt. I
don't know why.

4. I sometimes tool about town in a tee shirt that says, DYKE

5. Once I got into a fight with my butch bf and snuck out at night when hy
was sleeping and punctured the tire on hys jeep with a kitchen knife

[kannon]

Originally Posted by Semantics

1. People who habitually use a lot of exclamation points in a row make me feel nervous, even through a computer screen. I feel like if I were close to them at that very moment they might be yelling or flailing their arms around.

2. I have a phobia about getting a paper cut in my eye and my friends like to irritate me by making paper airplanes while we're sitting in restaurants.

3. I'm not out at my job because one of the judges is notoriously biased against homosexuals and I don't want it to affect my clients. I resent feeling trapped in the closet by a puritanical old asshole so I always wear very high heels on days when I'm assigned to his courtroom because he's also quite short and towering over him makes me feel authoritative.

4. Sometimes I throw up on airplanes. It always happens when we're taking off so I can't do it in the privacy of the bathroom. The first time it happened I was fifteen and flying to Florida with friends and I didn't know what to do so I vomited down the front of my shirt. It's been almost twenty years since that first incident and a 24 hour fast and Dramamine before flying do wonders.

5. I get regular manicures, which is mostly a waste, because when I'm not working I tend to dress like a twelve year old boy. A twelve year old boy on his way to the skate park with a french manicure and a chignon.

Would this one make it easier?

[Semantics]

Originally Posted by kannon

Would this one make it easier?

Yes. I prefer a single flamboyant punctuation over the alternative.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by SoNotHer

4) I will change my voice to ensure you don't think I just woke up to take your call.

I do this too. lol

Originally Posted by Semantics

5. I get regular manicures, which is mostly a waste, because when I'm not working I tend to dress like a twelve year old boy. A twelve year old boy on his way to the skate park with a french manicure and a chignon.

Oddly, this is kinda hot.

Originally Posted by Honey

4. I sometimes tool about town in a tee shirt that says, DYKE

Not so oddly, this is also hot.

[tonaderspeisung]

i have a co worker who looks like a blonde steve perry and sometimes when i see him i sing "oh sherry"

i often awkwardly serenade the people in my life

i am extremely uncomfortable around umbrellas

i once bought a car because it had really cool roadrunner decals - it ended up being quite the lemon

i'm an early bird and a night owl so i'm wise and have worms

[genghisfawn]

1) I am not afraid to burst into song, no matter who I'm with. This makes my mother very nervous and my bestest friends chime in. Fortunately for you I can carry a tune. Unfortunately for you I like to mangle the words of songs intentionally.

2) For example... if my room is perfectly clean and spotless and for some reason there is a sock in the middle of the floor, I will not pick it up. I don't know what perversity there is in my nature which makes this happen, but it's true. I won't pick it up. If you do, I probably won't notice.

3) My books are not shelved in any particular order. Some of my books are not shelved because I have no shelf space. I display even the books most people don't want to admit they've read because I don't go for that hipster crap.

4) Sometimes I find a cisdude hot. Justin Timberlake can bring sexy back to me anytime, and Tom Selleck is still a total hottie. I consider this being human, and nothing to do with sexuality or identification.

5) I still love my teddy bears and apologise when they have to sleep on the floor. Better yet, I don't make them sleep on the floor. I read The Velveteen Rabbit too many times as a tenderhearted little girl.

[Morgan]

1. Do not mishandle my bag of chips at the grocery store, this is my pet peeve, as I hate broken chips.

2. I love to dress my dog up in her own clothes, which I buy in the second hand stores in the baby section.

3. I can yodel pretty darn good......

4. I do a great impression of the lion on the Wizard of Oz.

5. I would really, really like to hug a cow.....they are very misunderstood animals, very cat-like in their behavior.

[VintageFemme]

1. NO waterspots on the kitchen or bathroom chrome. I'm a freak about it.
2. I prefer wildflowers to cut flowers any day. A handpicked bouquet of wildflowers tied w/ a ribbon will make me swoon way before a dozen red roses that's for sure.
3. I prefer semi precious stones to diamonds always. You couldn't give me a diamond that I would wear, ever.
4. I've gotten a little chubby this year but I'm way ok with it! I feel good.
5. NO WIRE HANGARS! Love, Mommie Dearest

[shiagirl]

1. I spray lysol on all door knobs inside and out of my home once a week, along with wiping down remote controls, cell phones, counters, any kind of knob (kitchen door knob) or handle (fridge handle) with antibacterial wipes. I also spray my keys with lysol. I even spray my steering wheel in my truck with lysol. lol

2. I will not scrape my teeth on metal. I use my lips instead to slide food off a fork or spoon.

3. I cannot eat fuzzy fruit without peeling it. Examples; Apricots, Peaches, Kiwi.

4. I can't stand lazy people

5. I sit in public places facing the people and doors. I need to know what's coming.

[cinnamongrrl]

1. I CANNOT step on or walk directly over a sewer grate.... I read IT at a formative age (12)
2. I avoid public restrooms as much as possible....I once drove 16 hours to NC and didn't use the restroom. (I was 16 then and MUCH more neurotic that I am now...tg)
3. I never got over the "monster under the bed" mentality and I CANNOT leave any extremity dangling over the side of the bed. I am CONVINCED that something under the bed will grab me or even just TOUCH me ......and odder than THAT....i even have that problem when I'm on an air mattress..

4. I can't STOMACH the smell of wet peanut butter! When I wash out the empty jars for recycling...let's just say I dont love it

5. I really dislike dolls...can't have them in the house. I dont mean Barbies...I mean baby dolls....just give me the heebie jeebies....

[Rook]

♦ I'm a chronic nailbiter, it's worse when Stressed. My family has tried thousands of ways to deter it, from peppers to money{my uncle offered $150 when i visited Connecticut only if my nails were naturally longer than his when i boarded the plane, given that I was visiting my father to Try and build bridges, I failed the offer..-shrug-}.

♦ If you're eating, and talking, don't expect me to follow the conversation. I need to read lips, watching someone slosh food with every word, isn't appealing, and if it's a Date? You're very lucky if I'm still sitting with u..

◘ If I'm in a rush, I'll take 5 minutes to bathe...if I'm stressed, I'll take 30 minutes, probably 2 more showers later on...Nothing to do with cleanliness, it takes me 5 minutes to get fully cleaned up...The rest is relaxing mode, sort of a comfort from water.

◘ Because I'm Profoundly Deaf, if I really don't want to 'hear' anything at the moment, say an argument, a tantrum, anything...I'll shut them off, take 'em off...It's blissful "silence"...U could bring hell on earth to rain fire on my ass, if i don't want to I won't wear 'em. If you're Deaf, I'll close my eyes -cheeky smile-

♣ Did I mention I'm a very stubborn Redhead?