How do you communicate when you're angry?

pajama · 01-23-2012, 06:49 AM

Usually with alot of expletives.

*Anya* · 01-23-2012, 08:45 AM

I work hard to verbalize how I am feeling and to be thoughtful about it. I can be reactive and do know this about myself so I am always paying attention to how I feel and to make sure I don't respond out of anger.

It makes it so much easier to have a partner that actually listens, evaluates what I have to say and does not become defensive.

When both involved do that, without defensiveness, resolution can occur and everyone feels heard.

I never hit below the belt, have power struggles or use knowlege of vulnerabilities as a weapon. That kind of ugliness will surely destroy a relationship and can never be forgiven.

Compromise is everything in a functional and loving relationship to me.

JustJo · 01-23-2012, 09:18 AM

I don't deal well with anger....not my own, and especially not that of others.

I can and will talk about anything...and I'm one that likes to actually understand and resolve and talk out an issue. For me, walking away and coming back to say all is fine....isn't fine...because nothing has been understood or resolved.

I will only scream and shout when I feel cornered or attacked. Generally, even when mad, I prefer to talk...although, if I'm really angry (or hurt) I will also be crying at the same time.

Now....when I'm angry at life, rather than a person....watch out. I have a mouth like a sailor, and have been known to raise a dinner plate over my head and launch it at the floor as hard as possible.

Bard · 01-23-2012, 10:03 AM

Desd was correct I do have a temper a bad one and when I was younger lets just say it got me into trouble. I try to keep in tightly controlled but as I get upset or angry I do tend to get louder. I can see this really effects Desd when this happens and that has been like a trigger for me showing me I am being stupid and I am causing her distress and a lot of times now it will make me stop and think cause I do not want her to feel like that. I try watch what I say because I KNOW to well words spoken in anger can never be taken back and I have far to many regrets. so I bottle and there are times I just have to go walk and decompress. in my worst days I would hit something inanimate and I have the scars to prove it. I also cry yeah and that has been used against me in the past so really if I am to that point I feel like a caged animal and I need to get away. I am also aware that I have a daughter who looks up to me and I want to be a good example yes there are times my ex her bio mom pushes my buttons big time but I have to control it. slowly I am finding my way I know that my anger and how I deal with it effects others and mostly the ones I love so I have to leash it

01-23-2012, 08:45 AM	#2
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,455 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I work hard to verbalize how I am feeling and to be thoughtful about it. I can be reactive and do know this about myself so I am always paying attention to how I feel and to make sure I don't respond out of anger. It makes it so much easier to have a partner that actually listens, evaluates what I have to say and does not become defensive. When both involved do that, without defensiveness, resolution can occur and everyone feels heard. I never hit below the belt, have power struggles or use knowlege of vulnerabilities as a weapon. That kind of ugliness will surely destroy a relationship and can never be forgiven. Compromise is everything in a functional and loving relationship to me. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

01-23-2012, 09:18 AM	#3
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,406 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I don't deal well with anger....not my own, and especially not that of others. I can and will talk about anything...and I'm one that likes to actually understand and resolve and talk out an issue. For me, walking away and coming back to say all is fine....isn't fine...because nothing has been understood or resolved. I will only scream and shout when I feel cornered or attacked. Generally, even when mad, I prefer to talk...although, if I'm really angry (or hurt) I will also be crying at the same time. Now....when I'm angry at life, rather than a person....watch out. I have a mouth like a sailor, and have been known to raise a dinner plate over my head and launch it at the floor as hard as possible. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

01-23-2012, 10:03 AM	#4
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Desd was correct I do have a temper a bad one and when I was younger lets just say it got me into trouble. I try to keep in tightly controlled but as I get upset or angry I do tend to get louder. I can see this really effects Desd when this happens and that has been like a trigger for me showing me I am being stupid and I am causing her distress and a lot of times now it will make me stop and think cause I do not want her to feel like that. I try watch what I say because I KNOW to well words spoken in anger can never be taken back and I have far to many regrets. so I bottle and there are times I just have to go walk and decompress. in my worst days I would hit something inanimate and I have the scars to prove it. I also cry yeah and that has been used against me in the past so really if I am to that point I feel like a caged animal and I need to get away. I am also aware that I have a daughter who looks up to me and I want to be a good example yes there are times my ex her bio mom pushes my buttons big time but I have to control it. slowly I am finding my way I know that my anger and how I deal with it effects others and mostly the ones I love so I have to leash it __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

01-23-2012, 06:49 AM	#1
pajama Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Klingon Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Just South of Nashvegas Baby Posts: 3,115 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,546 Thanked 7,476 Times in 1,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Usually with alot of expletives.