Is Marriage for you?

MsTinkerbelly · 02-11-2012, 05:01 PM

For those of you choosing "alternate joining" rather than marriage as your status, would you mind explaining your arrangements and why not "marriage", and for those choosing no marriage ever, what led you to this point?

Gráinne · 02-11-2012, 05:32 PM

I think I'm harder to live with as I get older. I get "peopled out" easily at work, and love to come home to a shower and a bowl of Raisin Bran for dinner. I like keeping my home as I like it, and not picking up all the time after someone else. If I want to decorate it a certain way, it can be mine, all mine

.

Ciaran's posts ring a bell for me. I'm so much better when I have about 2x "me time" for 1x "couple time", if that makes sense. It's not a reflection on my partner, but what I need to be happiest.

Kobi · 02-13-2012, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guihong

I think I'm harder to live with as I get older. I get "peopled out" easily at work, and love to come home to a shower and a bowl of Raisin Bran for dinner. I like keeping my home as I like it, and not picking up all the time after someone else. If I want to decorate it a certain way, it can be mine, all mine

.

Ciaran's posts ring a bell for me. I'm so much better when I have about 2x "me time" for 1x "couple time", if that makes sense. It's not a reflection on my partner, but what I need to be happiest.

I am soooo glad to hear you and Ciaran address this. I feel similar. I have a life filled with things that make me who I am and make me happy. Being part of a couple isnt a substitute for this, it is an adjunct.

Finding the right mix of "me" time and "we" time can be tricky to say the least.

Ginger · 03-21-2012, 07:58 AM

It's been pointed out to me that if my partner and I married, my taxes would likely go through the roof, and I would be liable for her debt (not that she's a gambler or anything; I just mean, in general).

DapperButch · 03-21-2012, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IslandScout

It's been pointed out to me that if my partner and I married, my taxes would likely go through the roof, and I would be liable for her debt (not that she's a gambler or anything; I just mean, in general).

I don't believe that is for the debt that he/she comes in with, but it probably would be for any debt she creates while in the marriage, if you divorce. To be sure, check where you live.

With that said, certainly we are held hostage to our new spouse's debt in one way or another. If I have 50K in debt, it surely would impact how many vacations I could go on with Tantalizing. Thus, my debt would be impacting her life if she is debt free and wants to go away every other month.

Ginger · 03-30-2012, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I don't believe that is for the debt that he/she comes in with, but it probably would be for any debt she creates while in the marriage, if you divorce. To be sure, check where you live.

With that said, certainly we are held hostage to our new spouse's debt in one way or another. If I have 50K in debt, it surely would impact how many vacations I could go on with Tantalizing. Thus, my debt would be impacting her life if she is debt free and wants to go away every other month.

The person who pointed that out to me is my partner herself, LOL.

View Poll Results: What is your ststus?
I am unmarried in my State or Country	103	58.52%
I am married in my State or Country	27	15.34%
I have had an alternate joining which is not legally marriage	18	10.23%
I wouldn't get married if they paid me!	28	15.91%
Voters: 176. You may not vote on this poll

02-11-2012, 05:32 PM	#2
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,113 Thanked 7,383 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I think I'm harder to live with as I get older. I get "peopled out" easily at work, and love to come home to a shower and a bowl of Raisin Bran for dinner. I like keeping my home as I like it, and not picking up all the time after someone else. If I want to decorate it a certain way, it can be mine, all mine . Ciaran's posts ring a bell for me. I'm so much better when I have about 2x "me time" for 1x "couple time", if that makes sense. It's not a reflection on my partner, but what I need to be happiest. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

02-11-2012, 05:01 PM	#1
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,910 Times in 5,020 Posts Rep Power: 0	For those of you choosing "alternate joining" rather than marriage as your status, would you mind explaining your arrangements and why not "marriage", and for those choosing no marriage ever, what led you to this point?

03-21-2012, 07:58 AM	#4
Ginger Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: East coast Posts: 2,416 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,829 Thanked 12,299 Times in 2,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	It's been pointed out to me that if my partner and I married, my taxes would likely go through the roof, and I would be liable for her debt (not that she's a gambler or anything; I just mean, in general).