What every Femme should know...

[Corkey]

What I want my honey to know is :
Thank you baby for the sushi, it was wonderful of you to think of me while at work.
I was almost apoplectic for where the colander was, found it!
The light is on and the cat is hogging the heater, again!
In other words, all I want for you is be the woman you are and the Femme you want to be.

[Tawse]

also - I don't call Gillian back if she hung up on me. Chances are if she hung up - it's cause I was being a royal dick.. and if I was being a royal dick - the conversation had gotten to a completely nonproductive point.

And besides, I tried doing that - and it results in a longer time out.


And I *hate* being ignored - so longer time outs are to be avoided.

[JistMe]

Wow. I found it somewhere, and posted. I didn't pick the language/pronouns. It was late, I just posted it. I actually intended it to end up in an entirely different thread, but lookie here... its a thread of it's own. lol If I offended someone.... I apologize?

[Julie]

Originally Posted by JistMe

Wow. I found it somewhere, and posted. I didn't pick the language/pronouns. It was late, I just posted it. I actually intended it to end up in an entirely different thread, but lookie here... its a thread of it's own. lol If I offended someone.... I apologize?

Jist...

Honestly - I think it's good you posted it. It gave opportunity for discussion and cleared the way for an important conversation.

Please continue posting -- I know sometimes it can be scary, especially when there are so many people jumping in and posting their thoughts, which are not necessarily favorable... But that does not mean it is bad. I know I certainly spoke my peace, and I am glad I had the opportunity to.

What every Femme should know... Certainly will not come from prose written by a man or a butch. It will come from her and will come from the dialogue she shares with other Femmes.

It's all good - Hopefully you learned something too.

Julie

[JistMe]

Originally Posted by Julie

Jist...

Honestly - I think it's good you posted it. It gave opportunity for discussion and cleared the way for an important conversation.

Please continue posting -- I know sometimes it can be scary, especially when there are so many people jumping in and posting their thoughts, which are not necessarily favorable... But that does not mean it is bad. I know I certainly spoke my peace, and I am glad I had the opportunity to.

What every Femme should know... Certainly will not come from prose written by a man or a butch. It will come from her and will come from the dialogue she shares with other Femmes.

It's all good - Hopefully you learned something too.

Julie

Oh yes... I did. I learned how new people must feel coming in here, and trying to post. Lucky for me, I am not a newbie.... have been a poster many years.
And no... I am not scared to post again. There's not much in this life that does scare me, and a little criticism is not on the list.
I'm just a little disheartened that something so simple, and well intended .... can be taken so literally that people even have a 'discussion' about it.
Not to mention... it was posted in a forum that was supposed to be for writings and ramblings, and not a philosophical discussion board.
All of that aside, it has nothing to do with being afraid or intimidated... or even caring... about someone else's opinion. It has to do with what a waste of my time and energy it is for me to even go read the replies. Why post?
One last note --- It never ceases to amaze me how much people can (or THINK they can) glean from one silly post. I went from being in a sweet and swoony mood over a great girl, to now a chauvinistic pig... ? .....
Not a single one of you (aside from grenade) even know me. So.... quite the judgement leap on your part.
I am actually pretty sweet. I am polite, generous to a fault, and am one of the only ones to stand up for the ladies in chat, or in real life. I am all about a woman standing on her own two feet, and speaking her mind. She doesn't need me, or anyone else to be whole. That's what I love the most about them.
But then.... none of you know that. Do you?

[Julie]

Originally Posted by JistMe

Oh yes... I did. I learned how new people must feel coming in here, and trying to post. Lucky for me, I am not a newbie.... have been a poster many years.
And no... I am not scared to post again. There's not much in this life that does scare me, and a little criticism is not on the list.
I'm just a little disheartened that something so simple, and well intended .... can be taken so literally that people even have a 'discussion' about it.
Not to mention... it was posted in a forum that was supposed to be for writings and ramblings, and not a philosophical discussion board.
All of that aside, it has nothing to do with being afraid or intimidated... or even caring... about someone else's opinion. It has to do with what a waste of my time and energy it is for me to even go read the replies. Why post?
One last note --- It never ceases to amaze me how much people can (or THINK they can) glean from one silly post. I went from being in a sweet and swoony mood over a great girl, to now a chauvinistic pig... ? .....
Not a single one of you (aside from grenade) even know me. So.... quite the judgement leap on your part.
I am actually pretty sweet. I am polite, generous to a fault, and am one of the only ones to stand up for the ladies in chat, or in real life. I am all about a woman standing on her own two feet, and speaking her mind. She doesn't need me, or anyone else to be whole. That's what I love the most about them.
But then.... none of you know that. Do you?

Jist,

You are taking this from a negative standpoint, not a positive one. You are not seeing the value in your posting and how it brought out all of the positive words from Femme's.

If I were a Butch and saw how my original (while misogynistic in my view) posting was turned around and brought out some wonderful words (empowering) from Femme's -- I would be feeling pretty good right about now. I would feel as if I learned a great deal from some of the Femme's in this community. And I don't believe anybody took your head off. We just put our own thoughts in there (which we are entitled to do).

I clearly disagreed with the words of the writer of the prose. Especially coming from a Femme's standpoint (Mine).

Instead of thanking the Femme's who posted... You are feeling somewhat wounded. I am sorry for this.

Julie

[weatherboi]

i often see posts and threads that describe how femmes should act or be perceived. It leads to some really educational conversations about how greatly diverse and empowering the femme community is! i am always disappointed when it gets met with the same sentiment and defense. It is disheartening to see so many people get defensive about people making a stand for their own style of space. Can we please stop playing victim long enough to have a thoughtful conversation where everybody gets heard?

As a male identified person, i learned there are some things i am guilty of and i am glad people came in and spoke there minds about what is good for them and what isn't.

[Kobi]

I can see why Jist might be a little confused by the reaction and how to interpret it. Julie's clarification did help shed some insight on this.

I am a little confused myself and trust someone can help me out.

The original title: "what every Femme should know", can be seen as a blanket(generalized) statement that might ruffle feathers.

"Being Femme means you honor and respect your Femme Sisters." and "Being a Femme's Femme is more important than any Butch on this planet." also appear to be blanket (generalized) statements yet they dont seem to be as much of an issue.

So, I am confused as to what exactly is it about blanket (generalizations)statements that is problematic?

Is it when the id of the OP may differ from from the id about whom the actual post is about that makes it problematic i.e. if a Femme posted it, it might not be quite as troublesome. But, a non Femme posting it makes it more indicative of <misogyny, stereotyping, whatever other terms work>.

Is it the actual content where one might be seen as disempowering while another is seen as empowering? If it is, then isnt this a dual standard? If it isnt, shouldnt both types of generalizations be addressed as issues?

Is it popular opinion? By this I mean, if we agree with what is said, does it make it ok as opposed to when we dont agree with it?

Is it a combination? Or maybe something I am not even thinking of at the moment?

I thought I understood it. Now I am not so sure.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by JistMe

Oh yes... I did. I learned how new people must feel coming in here, and trying to post. Lucky for me, I am not a newbie.... have been a poster many years.
And no... I am not scared to post again. There's not much in this life that does scare me, and a little criticism is not on the list.
I'm just a little disheartened that something so simple, and well intended .... can be taken so literally that people even have a 'discussion' about it.
Not to mention... it was posted in a forum that was supposed to be for writings and ramblings, and not a philosophical discussion board.
All of that aside, it has nothing to do with being afraid or intimidated... or even caring... about someone else's opinion. It has to do with what a waste of my time and energy it is for me to even go read the replies. Why post?
One last note --- It never ceases to amaze me how much people can (or THINK they can) glean from one silly post. I went from being in a sweet and swoony mood over a great girl, to now a chauvinistic pig... ? .....
Not a single one of you (aside from grenade) even know me. So.... quite the judgement leap on your part.
I am actually pretty sweet. I am polite, generous to a fault, and am one of the only ones to stand up for the ladies in chat, or in real life. I am all about a woman standing on her own two feet, and speaking her mind. She doesn't need me, or anyone else to be whole. That's what I love the most about them.
But then.... none of you know that. Do you?

I didn't realize from the get go what zone the thread was in because the title is what caught my attention...

"What Every Femme Should Know"

So I read the post, thought hmm, this makes no sense because not ALL Femme's want these things that were in the OP. Hence my post regarding it. There was no criticism tied to my posts regarding *you*

My thoughts and and posts were regarding things a Femme

should know because I thought at the beginning that's what it was about, a thread about what Femme's should know...


Your sentiment was sweet and now I understand that the title was meant for only one particular Femme hence the confusion and the voicing from a lot of Femme's about what we should know, sorry if you felt it was an attack against your character.. It really wasn't...


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JAGG I have NEVER wanted to hang you from your eye lids, see this is how rumors get started.... The eyelids would tear and cause a bloody mess, and I am pretty sure that blood play would be a limit....


As for the whole *gang bang* theory....

I think gang bang is an awfully violent yucky gross term to use when describing people coming in to voice different opinions and state how they feel. That's just me though...

If we're gonna focus on wording maybe we should focus on that terminology as well because truthfully I see no one running around shooting up anybody, cutting up anybody, or slicing up anyone, it's not violent in here its a bunch of folks with similar ideas and thoughts and some with not so similar ideas and thoughts discussing and I think learning I am unsure at this point...