Ask a trans person!

[Linus]

Originally Posted by The Oopster

Blows the dust off here!

Hey thought I'd throw something out there!

In a week I'm going to meet up with an Aunt and Uncle and their son and his family.

As far as I know they have no clue of my trans status! Right now I'm just figuring to just show up and make no big deal of it! I don't foresee any issues with them or I would address it before hand. In this case it just seems easiest to handle it as it comes.

When I came out as gay 10 years ago they were very very excepting! Even my tough navy officer uncle!

I'm staying with the cousin but I have hotel reservations for that night that I can cancel up til 4 pm that night and will hang onto them til that day. That's also partly due to health issues my uncle and aunt have. Figure it's just easier to hold onto it and cancel it when i'm sure I don't need it!

any thoughts?

I'm always amazed at how well my family receives me. The biggest challenge with distant relatives (my aunts and uncles live in Canada so I only see them maybe once or twice a year) is that they forget pronouns. Personally I don't make it a big deal because I see them so rarely. They try and still love me for who I am (the more important fact, IMO).

I think you have a plan and if things don't go well, you have an out if need be. Just be positive and open to any questions. Do you think they know? (say from other family members)

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by Linus

I'm always amazed at how well my family receives me. The biggest challenge with distant relatives (my aunts and uncles live in Canada so I only see them maybe once or twice a year) is that they forget pronouns. Personally I don't make it a big deal because I see them so rarely. They try and still love me for who I am (the more important fact, IMO).

I think you have a plan and if things don't go well, you have an out if need be. Just be positive and open to any questions. Do you think they know? (say from other family members)

They possibly could but the only people the would hear it from would be my parents and I just don't see my parents having said anything because they are pretty private.

Certain people get passes on the pronouns and name game, that's really not an issue for me, I just really try to be sensitive to the other people involved and the best way to deal with it for them. Some of my other relatives I would definitely deal with it before hand but this side of the family is pretty laid back.

[Nadeest]

When I started my transition, I didnt expect my family and those that had known me for large numbers of years to automatically start calling me by my new name. Mind you, these people are few in number, but I do have to try to cut them some slack. It has got to be hard for them to adjust to referring to me by my new name, and thinking of me as a different gender then what they are used to.

[pajama]

So I hope this is the right place.

The Boy and I are watching Girls will be Boys. And we started discussing something that I have noticed before and wondered about.

While I understand that trans people feel/look/genitally are one gender, chromosomaly they are of another gender. So I would think chromosomes are what determines hair pattern. But obviously this is not so.....

How is it that FTMs end up with male hairlines, i.e. male pattern baldness? Is it the T that causes hair loss because of its steroid nature?

Thanks for any feedback.
A

[Liam]

Originally Posted by pajara2

How is it that FTMs end up with male hairlines, i.e. male pattern baldness? Is it the T that causes hair loss because of its steroid nature?

Thanks for any feedback.
A

A male hairline does not necessarily equate to male pattern baldness, and yes, usually its the T that makes the male hairline. A female hairline is generally rounder than a male hairline. As for male pattern baldness, the general response is that genetics determine that, just like it does for female pattern baldness.

[Linus]

So I've run into an odd situation at work. First a bit of background (for those unaware): I started my transition back in 2007-2008. I've been on T since 2008 and had top surgery last year. I have not had my I.D. gender changed yet because of the whole visa/green card stuff (the US gov't doesn't seem to care so that's fine). For my company I'm a technical trainer and sometimes we do what are known as "onsites" where a customer pays for a trainer to come and train their employees at their facility.

Recently, we had one customer who wants me (specifically) to come and teach. They happen to be an airline and they wanted to book the ticket on their airline. That, in itself, isn't an issue. However, the person organizing it (and likely to be a student) wanted the necessary info, which (as per TSA), means name and gender being given out. This made me go "no, not doing it" and told my company that. The airline company finally agreed to let me book the ticket myself (it then ends up with some random stranger rather than the person booking the course) and I still book the flight with them.

I'll say it again: I love the company I work for. They protected my privacy while still meeting the needs of the customer.

[Nadeest]

I'm so glad for you, Linus, that you have an employer that is looking out for their employees as well as their customers. I hope that I get a job with a company like that.

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by The Oopster

They possibly could but the only people the would hear it from would be my parents and I just don't see my parents having said anything because they are pretty private.

Certain people get passes on the pronouns and name game, that's really not an issue for me, I just really try to be sensitive to the other people involved and the best way to deal with it for them. Some of my other relatives I would definitely deal with it before hand but this side of the family is pretty laid back.

so I saw my aunt, uncle and cousin recently and the whole situation was sort of cute.

The night before i went over to see them I was talking to my aunt and I started to say well there is something you need to know ... She said "Hun it's okay, your dad sent us an email. Barry(her son) keeps telling me to watch my pronouns.

She did her best ... it was funny cause my uncle who just had some issues where his thinking process was impaired didn't miss a single pronoun and I could tell that he was proud of that fact!

When I was leaving my cousins ... my cousin paused ... stared at me and said "damn you look like your dad!"

i knew they'd be good and it's nice to have some of the family that now knows. Don't know what will ever happen with my moms side but i'll cross that bridge if it ever comes!

[Nadeest]

I'm glad that things went well with your family.